Parents, carers and disabled parents
If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.

SEN Child being bullied - Help

welshgirl21welshgirl21 Member Posts: 3 Connected

Hi,

 

I’m really hoping you can help me.

Our son started coming home in the Autumn term of 2019 saying he was being hit and punched by another child. We spoke to the SENCO who is not supportive of Dylan’s needs and he said Dylan was misinterpreting the situation. The week lockdown started Dylan was in the bath and when I looked his legs were purple with bruises. I asked him what happened and he said he gets kicked in the playground. We did an access to information request from the school and got his pupil file on the last day of term. In March when we picked Dylan up we were told there had been an incident with another child and both had been sent to the landing. In his pupil file this incident was recorded and it turns out this other child kicked Dylan in the privates and when he was being told of Dylan grabbed him so was punished as well. We were never told of this and had we not paid for his pupil file we never would have been.

Since the end of term he had been diagnosed with a severe social communication and understanding delay on top of ASD with PDA, SPD and anxiety. I don’t believed the school can or are willing to meet his needs. They’ve withheld information from us on the safety of our child and tried to blame the fact he’s being bullied on his additional needs. I don’t want to send him back in September but as we’ve recently applied for his EHCP I’m concerned it will affect it if I pull him out of school. I don’t know what to do.

 

Kind regards

Sarah [removed by moderator - personal information]


Replies

  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 3,749 Disability Gamechanger
    The best advice I can offer would be to contact the chair of governors and see what they have to say. As a former school governor myself we always investigated bullying until we found a resolution.
    my advice is given freely and is correct to the best of my knowledge.
  • Sorry_SusanSorry_Susan Member Posts: 56 Courageous
    Firstly, why did you have to pay for his pupil file? 
    My ASD with PDA was also bullied at school. Some of it was misinterpretation, but most was bullying. She eventually became a school refuser which had its own load of issues, but she obtained brilliant GCSE results in the end with a science tutor and only attending about 40% of school lessons and is now doing A-levels at a different school (full boarding)
    Changing school may not be the answer though, as mine attended 3 different primary schools and were bullied at all 3. 
    She says we should have allowed her to go to boarding school in primary as it suits her needs better (this is not a specialist school, state boarding school only). Even here she was bullied but she reported it herself and they dealt with it brilliantly. 
    Good luck!
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,033

    Scope community team

    Hi @welshgirl21! I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to your son, that sounds very distressing. I think contacting the governors is a good suggestion, and I hope you found some comfort in @Sorry_Susan's story? 

    I can appreciate that this has been an upsetting for you, but we're all here to offer you advice and support where we can. Feel free to comment here or make another post if you need to :)
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

    Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now.
  • emmarenshawemmarenshaw Member Posts: 712 Pioneering
    Welcome to the community @welshgirl21 I’m so sorry to hear of your difficulties. How are you getting on?
  • Betty200Betty200 Member Posts: 9 Connected
    Hi @welshgirl21  I’m so sorry you are going through this. 
    It must be absolutely heart breaking .. and frustrating for you ..
    my daughter is also being bullied at her school, however she is only 7 so it’s name calling  such as fat, stupid and slow and people not letting her join in their games . but she comes home from school upset and cries when I’m dropping her off .. I’ve spook to the school about this and nothing has been done on numerous occasions .. I’ve also been into school to tell them that I think she has special need last September and nothing has been done so I have changed her school and I’ve spoke with their senco just before the 6 weeks holidays who has all ready made plans for my daughter and I’m hoping the bullying stops but it worries me that where ever I take her there’s always someone to upset her, school, play centres parties . I took her to forest school this week and a boy from her class turned up and he’s been quite mean to her and she now doesn’t want to return and she’s very upset about it ..
    it’s heartbreaking ... and I can’t imagine how you feel as your son is being physically bullied to. 
    I’m here if you would like to chat or for some support xx
  • welshgirl21welshgirl21 Member Posts: 3 Connected
    Thank you. I’m going to get him signed off under disability related anxiety and safeguarding concerns while we’re going through the EHCP process. The worker for the EHCP has been told all the details by me today and sent the evidence so hoping that goes in support. 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,033

    Scope community team

    Let us know how it goes @welshgirl21 :)
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

    Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now.
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,652 Disability Gamechanger
    I hope it goes smoothly @welshgirl21
    Community Partner
    Scope

    Tell us what you think?
    Complete our feedback form to help us to improve your community.
  • MrCatMrCat Posts: 26 Member
    Okay, first make it very clear he has the right to defend himself, second tell them to explain what the "F" is he misrepresenting because this sounds serious?
Sign in or join us to comment.