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Help with reaching out to trauma support?

Francis_theythem
Francis_theythem Member Posts: 120 Pioneering
So I had continuous trauma for many years but I'm safe now and the trauma has ended. But I'm really cut off to everyone now and I can't connect to anyone, so I'm really isolated. And whenever I'm in a social encounter I dissociate and it's like some other thing takes over and I can't control what I say or act so it's really hard for me to say anything or reach out to anyone. I'm really alone but my trauma effects are getting really bad now and I want help but I literally can't even write an email to this private trauma centre I found. It's really hard to say anything to anyone and I can't do it on my own
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Comments

  • RAwarrior
    RAwarrior Member Posts: 430 Pioneering
    @Francis_theythem

    I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. However, I am really glad you are now safe.

    I have some understanding as I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

    It is really difficult and I am the opposite of what you have described because I am always on alert when I go out expecting something to happen. 

    I know this post is about your situation and I have only mentioned my own situation so that you know that in a small way you have my support. 

    I have only recently joined this online community and I have found it has helped me a lot as there are lots of people in this online community who do try to help and support each other. 

    There are lots of threads about things I enjoy which help me to focus on the things that help to lift my mood. Perhaps there’s a thread about something that you enjoy doing? 

    Have you tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I started having CBT via the NHS which unfortunately was interrupted because of Covid 19. However, the therapy I had did start to help me. 

    You have my support?

  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    @RAwarrior It's very difficult for me because I have amnesia/inability to recall memories. I cannot remember between 2012-2019 and also an incident when I was 13 in 2009. So it's especially difficult for me to be able to think whether it's actually possible therapy can even help me at all because it's blacked out. I had CBT for depression a while back but I feel like it's limited for those who actually have thought processes where I don't or can't because of avoidance and inability to face anything. My mind decided that amnesia was the best way for me to cope so I'm really scared about facing that.

    Uhh the thing about me is that I've been bedridden with ME and PoTS since 2016 and have only just started coming out of that and being able to do much. I started string art recently but trauma seems to have completely blocked my creativity so it's really hard to get started and do anything.

    I really am truly and utterly broken.

    Thank you. I'm especially grateful for your fast reply <3  
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 8,262

    Scope community team

    edited August 2020
    Hi again @Francis_theythem! I'm really pleased you feel like you're in a place to think about reaching out for help. You're definitely not the only one to feel worried about making the next step in seeking treatment.

    Do you know what information you need to include in the initial email? I'd be surprised if they needed lots of details at this point. If they do need some information, you could even just copy and paste parts of the posts and comments you've made here. I'd hope they'd be understanding of the fact that this is a very difficult step for a lot of people to take.

    Also, is there anyone in your personal life who could help you put an email together? Another option is finding out what information they need, posting that list here (not your personal details, just the stuff they need), and letting us help you put together a template? 

    You're not on your own, we're all here to try and support you in any way we can :)
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 8,262

    Scope community team

    Hey @Francis_theythem, just jumping in on your reply to @RAwarrior. CBT isn't limited to those who are totally aware of their thought process at all! A huge part of CBT for a lot of people is learning how to notice, recognise, and deal with (often automatic) thought processes that you might not be aware of. It's hard work, but the therapist should be there to help you understand your thoughts and behaviours better, and support you through that process. Hopefully that makes sense! 

    That being said, CBT doesn't suit everyone, and there are lots of other forms of therapy that might fit you better :) 
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  • RAwarrior
    RAwarrior Member Posts: 430 Pioneering
    @Francis_theythem
    @Tori_Scope
    You’re very welcome?

    I think the information in the post written by @Tori_Scope is excellent. I think that Scope will be able to help you with the email which would be a great start. 

    I have found that participating in this online community has really helped me and this is the first time I have ever participated in any online forum. 

    I initially posted about subjects that I was worried about, however, I have since become involved in other threads which have enabled me to focus on other subjects which I enjoy  and to try to help other members of the online community.

    You said you that you started string art recently. There is a thread which recently started called Kaleidoscope which features art created by the online community which might give you some ideas. 

    I am quite good at photography however, I am not artistic at all but it was wonderful to see the art that the online community had posted. It’s only a suggestion and it might not be something that interests you. However, there are so many different discussions so there might be something which interests you.

     I hope this helps?


  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    Just to emphasise @Francis_theythem, this is a safe space for you to talk about how you are feeling without judgement.  We all want to support you and from reading about your past experiences, I'm already proud of how far you have come.  If you do need any support writing that email just give us a shout and we will help.

    Likewise, @RAwarrior it's great to hear that the community is having a positive impact on your life.  It's always nice to see you around the board :)
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    @Tori_Scope I picked some of my dad's tomatoes to help me calm down a bit. I don't know what they need, so I assumed I needed to tell them about my symptoms. If that''s not the case, what am I supposed to tell them? Could I just say that I was interested in seeing someone for trauma and what information do they need?
    Mm not really... when I told my sister that I was abused she said that I was just being sensitive so I'm not really inclined to tell the family members that met him. So that rules my immediate family out. And I'm just really unconnected to everyone in general so it's really difficult for me to say anything to anyone. Especially because of my sister.
    I didn't know this about CBT. I expect that when they screen me we'll sort that out ><

    @RAwarrior the way I do string art is drawing something on a piece of paper and then putting it over another piece of paper/card so I can stick pins along the lines that I will later wind the thread along. Then I remove the drawing paper, stick the pins in and use the thread to connect them. So the problem I have is being able to have something simple to draw an outline of. 
  • RAwarrior
    RAwarrior Member Posts: 430 Pioneering
    @Cher_Scope

    Thank you so much as always for your kind words?

    Joining the online community has made a positive impact on my life. 

    As you know I have got involved in many of the threads (the wildlife one being my favourite). This has changed my focus to something I enjoy.

    It has also helped me because for once I feel like I can possibly help other people which helps me if that makes any sense. 

    Having PTSD as I have detailed in my other posts made me feel like I didn’t matter, however, being able to try to help other people makes a difference.

    I have been able to post details of what has has happened to me without being judged or fear of people trying to harm me. After feeling disillusioned for a long time, I came across a wonderful community of people.

    @Francis_theythem  
    I have found an online community who despite their own issues actually try to help each other.

    I know you are in a difficult place at the moment however, there are lots of people in this online community that do help each other?

     
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    edited August 2020
    @Francis_theythem
    Oooh tomatoes?! nice! We haven't grown any this year but I'm determined to next.  Are they tasty?

    For the email I wouldn't go into detail at first.  I'd leave it as basic as:

    Hello 

    My name is Francis Theythem (insert own name :D).  I came across your private trauma centre and am interested in making an appointment to see one of your therapists.

    Before I do this, could you please provide me with more details about the service and how I would make a first appointment?

    Kind regards
    Francis


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  • RAwarrior
    RAwarrior Member Posts: 430 Pioneering
    @Francis_theythem

    String art sounds really great and I am sure once you have completed the art work it will look great ?

    Perhaps you could ask the online community on the Kaleidoscope thread for some advice or tips regarding the string art? There might be someone who is far more artistic then I am. It would be great if you posted photos of your completed work as I would be interested in seeing it as I had never heard of string art before?

    You might that my posts might seem out of context however, I keep getting timed out from the website so my posts sometimes overlap with others.
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    @RAwarrior Your photos of wildlife, and in-particular the squirrels, always cheer the SCOPE team up, thank you from us <3
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  • RAwarrior
    RAwarrior Member Posts: 430 Pioneering
    @Cher_Scope
    Thank you very much and you are very welcome ?

    I posted some more photos today in the Photography Thread in case you haven’t seen them?
  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    @Cher_Scope THEY HAVE GONE BESERK. I'm out there picking like 1-3 tubs of tomatoes a day. And there are still so many green ones >< they taste so good though - there are just so many! My dad calls them sweeties because they are so sweet and full of flavour. He says that it's good to grow several varieties at once. All of them are doing really well and just...my extended family are having a lot of tomatoes. 

    My name actually is Francis ;P I didn't know it had to be so simple as that at first?? I don't have to talk about my symptoms to them?
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    edited August 2020
    @Francis_theythem
    Nope no need to tell them anything about your symptoms yet! You are just enquiring about an appointment and the email might get read by an admin worker rather than a therapist.  I'd hold off disclosing anything until asked to :) 

    Ahhh I have all the tomato envy now.  I miss my little red balls of tang.  Enjoy your harvest!! Think of all the concoctions - bruschetta, tomato soup, tomato quiche, tomato salad, tomato and chips... 
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    @RAwarrior I already posted a flower I did, which was my first one! Asking for tips on simple ones that I could do is a good idea. I will try it!

    Also I sent the email in the way you said @Cher_Scope >< Thank you for mmm I could say helping me but you basically wrote it for me xP
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    I'm going to look for your photo now @RAwarrior and yey, glad I could help you @Francis_theythem <3
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    These are the tomatoes I picked today xP Mmm I feel a bit relieved now. I may send a freaked out message if I get overwhelmed again >< This is the hardest thing for me to reach out for
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,270 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Francis_theythem - I don't know if you've looked into EMDR, or if this is an option with the private trauma centre. I thought I would mention it just in case, & in the following link you will see there's an option to have EMDR online. Please see: https://emdrassociation.org.uk/
    Perhaps this may help? :)

  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    @Francis_theythem Post anything, anytime!! Tell your dad he's done a grand job with them tomatoes too!
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    edited August 2020
    Yes! Their three core therapies they use are CBT, EMDR and neurolinguistic programming. But I'll look at the links too. Thank you, @chiarieds

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