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No point

I just feel like there is no point being alive. I did not want to ever even experience this. I get nothing out of living. No pleasure.
I had a plan and it all went horribly wrong. I hate what happened to me.
I had a plan and it all went horribly wrong. I hate what happened to me.
Replies
I hope you feel you can share your feelings and thoughts with us. Life is always worthwhile, even when we don't see a light at the end of the tunnel for a while... An objective input from someone outside your family might help you see things differently.
Do you suppose it's possible that you've had an infection? Viral infection in particular can leave you with chronic fatigue. Many people end up with M.E. after an infection. This happened to me in 1989 and I have suffered with it ever since as well as having other conditions. It's what is called "an invisible disability". Do you think that this could be a possibility?
Big part was it's it's i on movement. My muscles painfully contract. I had difficulty brushing my teeth even before I injured my arm. They didn't help me so I was powerless to help myself.
Your mental health is bound to be affected by constant pain but that doesn't mean that the possibility of a physical problem should not be explored.
Good luck, I wish you all the best with this and I hope you can find understanding doctors.
How are you currently doing? I am concerned by your mention of a plan and I just want to ensure your safety.
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We cant take the pain away but try and support you
Have you tried any alternative therapies like acupuncture or seen a chiropractor or physio, maybe they can help
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I tried a lot of alternative treatments.
Massage therapy could have treated the problem but for my mental health. It's an odd problem but I was looking up 'functional disorders' as I had the greatest issues with pain with these spasmic episodes. You then lose an awful lot of movement. It's slightly odd.
As I described I later injured my right shoulder and didn't have the movement to brush my teeth. This is still the case. To be honest it's the psychological impact of having that happen. I am happy with the label 'functional disorder'. I hope to get better. I have just had all of this together for 31 years. I think there may be relevance to the age I did the thing to my back and how children respond to pain.
@janer1967 hi,
I went through a whole list of alternative therapies that involved the ones you mentioned.
@Tori_Scope thanks for asking.
@oxenlady I just found the last few years incredibly difficult.
I do sympathise with regards to your shoulder pain. In the last six years I've had two bad falls and my left shoulder took the brunt of both. Scans have shown a combination of problems, including a torn tendon. In the last year the pain has got worse and if I try to move my arm it feels as if it's coming off the shoulder joint. Yet I've been waiting since last year to see a specialist.
Have you had any scans on your shoulder or spine? Is your GP sympathetic?
People shouldn't be expected to live with chronic pain.
Please let me know if there's anything I can help you with, I'm a good listener!
I never had a scan on my shoulder. I didn't care so much about the pain in my shoulder but it was the amount of movement I lost. Eventually when this dragged on it psychologically traumatised me.
You get no sleep, just severely stressed with pain in your mouth. Even puts you off eating. I presume it's stress but I weighed 12 stone but then lost 2 stone going through.
I lot of the response was psychological but you can't believe what you're experiencing. You can't separate the pain from the emotion that comes with it. I think the horror at losing the physical movement to do something so basic really added to it.
I would certainly be happier if I knew exactly what's causing my pain and limited movement. I'm due to see a specialist at the end of September.
To use the example of my shoulder pain again, it would not have become such a long-term problem if I'd seen a shoulder specialist in the past three years! I was refered to physio but I haven't enough strength and range of movement in the first place to do the exercises! And it can't be right to feel as if the arm is coming out of its socket!
It may be worth approaching your GP and asking if you can be referred for an assessment on your shoulder. Surely they can't just label it as a psychological problem?
They had the police over because someone thought I was going to kill myself or something. I was puzzled but I just told them that it had been really bad. I'd go further but you're not going to mention that pelvic pain. It's so horrible. That's caused by this gingivitis but I don't understand quite how.
It was the worst thing I ever felt.
I wish I could help, Harry01, because I know what it's like to be screaming in pain, only to be told "be quiet, you are scaring the other patients", not "let's see how we can help you"! And that was in A&E...
Can you train yourself to brush your teeth with the arm that doesn't hurt?
I can recommend Gengigel mouth rinse, it's aimed at problems with gums, including gingivitis.
Take care.
I cannot say that my dentist is good as I have had this since 2017. They simply believed as did the doctor that I was physically able to do it. I've used mouthwash and as much as I physically can, interdents and floss but nothing replaces the mechanical action of brushing and along the gumline. Just as with the doctor I told them repeatedly what my physical issue was but they ignored me.
Thanks
Now if they were dentures...glass of water and a couple of fizzy tablets would sort you out...not really helpful, sorry...
Hope you find a solution.
Must be maddening...
Your advice makes sense. The physio I saw previously told me to 'push through' the pain. Um...
Thanks for engaging with this.
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It's just laziness, an uncaring attitude and lack of an investigative spirit among medical professionals that leaves many of us in pain.
Often they fail to investigate pain properly, it doesn't clear up and they then label it "chronic". It infuriates me because doctors just say they can't do anything about chronic pain!
Harry01, you have weakness as well as pain in different parts of your body so proper investigations are warranted. Please ask for the help you need and are entitled to receive.
Just to give you one example, I kept saying, at one point, that I had Cauda Equina but absolutely no one listened. They just kept saying that I had chronic back pain. 15 months of agony later I collapsed and they operated, but they had left it so late that nothing below the waist works properly. This has happened twice! That's why I say that pain needs to be investigated properly. Sorry if I sounded harsh...
That's why I've suggested to Harry01 to get a second opinion.
I've been referred to some persistent pain clinic. I have left no information out and spoke to the doctor yesterday.
I don't put a whole lot of weight on doctors, specialists or anyone. I think we don't know. I saw an appalling programme in channel 4 that if memory serves me correct said that 'chronic pain' was the pain system malfunctioning or something like that. I mean that would surely be complete nonsense description to conditions where the nervous system is doing it's job: reporting a problem.
Happy to talk about this.
I have terrible SOB but so far the doctors haven't quite worked out why. Some are telling me that I have heart failure and others disagree...
@Oxonlady is your SOB still being monitored?
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I'm feeling generally very unwell, I'll mention it to the rheumatologist when I go to the hospital tomorrow. I can barely move...
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I hope you are not in too much pain today.
Let us know how you get on and be sure to mention that SOB.
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The rheumatologist was very nice and kind. He said that although nothing much can be done for me, he'll arrange for scans on my shoulder and elbow and I also had blood tests today. At least he's being thorough, whereas the last two rheumatologists weren't really very interested, they just said "you've got Fibromyalgia so there's nothing we can do". And both had added, at the time, that "Fibromyalgia is all in the mind", something I of course do not agree with!
I now have to wait for the results of my blood tests, it shouldn't take too long.
Meanwhile I'm glad to be home and resting! Wishing you all a pleasant evening.
Have rest now you are home
Thanks for getting me to ask about my shoulder. I will also push to point out all physical issues.
I was hesitant because I didn't want them to deny my general movement based issues and make it about my shoulder only.
I saw the rheumatologist on Friday and he's arranging scans for my shoulder and elbow but there's a three-month waiting list. Constant pain and lack of movement can be really demoralising, that's why I suggested to you that you may also need a scan.
I started taking antibiotics on Friday evening and I'm starting to feel human again. My blood test results prove that I've got an infection but doctors don't usually listen when I tell them...
I wish you well and good luck in trying to address your problems. I'm very practical so I always look for solutions!
It always impresses me and not in a positive way, how doctors think they know all about me within ten minutes of meeting me and yet they don't take into account my decades of experience in this body!
Hearing that you've got a 3 month wait must be frustrating, but at least you're on the antibiotics now. How are you feeling today?
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I feel a lot better on the antibiotics, thanks. Still feeling very tired, will have to go for a nap soon.
I am disappointed with doctors because the majority have no imagination or an investigative mind. If the run-of-the-mill blood tests are normal, they look no further, despite the patient feeling unwell or being in pain. So from now on I will avoid the medical profession as much as possible!!!! I have no faith in them.
If the NHS cared, we wouldn't have to wait in pain for months to have scans done...
I'm glad you're still feeling a little bit better at least.
Yes, it can be disappointing when doctors don't take the time to investigate further. I often hear people saying that they have to be their own advocates and fight for the treatment and tests they need. Your lack of faith is definitely understandable, but I hope that you do manage to find a team of doctors who are able to help.
Is there anything you can do whilst you're waiting for your scan?
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Yep, agree completely. I'm sorry they've treated you like that.
Feel free to tell us here. There should be an open discussion about this. I hope that you get the treatment you deserve.
Just to give you an example of how much doctors don't know, even though they think they do and how they simply don't listen to the patient : I went to A&E a couple of weeks ago, feeling very unwell and they did some blood tests. My white cell count was very high, yet they dismissed it, saying it's because I'm on steroids. I kept saying that I must have an infection, as I felt so unwell. Had they given me antibiotics then, I would not have continued to deteriorate to the point where I could barely move.
In any case, I've improved on the antibiotics, though I'm still worn out.
Next time, I won't be inclined to listen to the doctors!
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I paint my canvasses and then I give them a 3-D effect in a special, unique way that I have invented myself. I have a few more canvasses to complete and then I hope to find a way to exhibit them. As I'm housebound, this might be difficult to arrange but I'm determined to share my artwork with the world once it is completed!
I'm sure you'll find a way, especially once more venues start to open. Have you posted pictures of them online before? I'd love to see!
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It would be wonderful to exhibit them so that people can see this unique work which will not be found anywhere else in the world. But I'll never sell them. I need them around me to cheer me up and remind me of my long, arduous journey to get to where I am now!
I know that almost all other artists sell their work so I do understand your suggestion.
I just couldn't bear to be parted with my unique collection! I hope that doesn't sound daft or selfish...
You're always welcome to post whatever you're working on on the community if you fancy it. Lots of people share their arts and crafts on KaleidoScope.
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I am sure they would be willing to help collect them and display
Some places struggle with being able to afford artwork to display to make the place look better
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