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My sister has learning disabilities, ADHD and a personality disorder.

Thomas1991Thomas1991 Member Posts: 1 Listener
edited September 2020 in Disabled people
Hi, so am looking for some advice. 

My sister has learning disabilities, ADHD and a personality disorder. 

She lives in a residential home. Pre-covid she would come home at the weekend and then one weekend in the month she would come home for a long weekend. She loves the company of others and due to her ADHD the best thing for her is to be kept on the go. 

She hasn't been home since COVID and because she lives in a home they are saying that she can come home, but that she would then have to spend 14 days in her room on return!! This isn't within her best interests and I think you'd get treated better in prison quite frankly. You're talking about 14 days in her room with staff passing food through the door. This would be horrible for anyone let alone someone with her diagnosis. 

The contact we have had with her is through whatsapp and meeting in the park a few times a week for an hour. Although she has to come with a member of staff to make sure we all socially distance. 

We have asked if she could come home for a few hours and they have said that she could, but a member of staff would have to come and she wouldn't be allowed to stroke the dogs....

She was due to go back to college, but the care home have said if anyone in her class gets symptoms she would have to stay in her room for 14 days. She is so worried about having to do this she has decided she doesn't want to go back to college. 

She has remained so positive, but has her moments. She got really upset last night and has hit herself in the face. She just says she wants to come home. 

It's really difficult because there no end in sight. Removing her from the care home is not within her best interests either as she'd have to go back there at some point and still have to spend the 14 days in her room. Also if we brought her out of there she is then likely to not want to go back. We just don't know what the best thing to do is. 

We've spoken to social services etc, the care home and they are just insisting on following the guidelines, but I think it's discrimination just because she lives in a care home. The rest of the population can go back to some normality whereas she can't even go in a shop, go gym, go for a meal etc incase she brings something back into the home. The only time she does leave the home is to go for a couple of walks a day and to meet us in the park or she goes for a drive. I don't know what the answer is really so I don't know why I've posted this, but I suppose it's venting. 


  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger
    HI and welcome,

    It's a very difficult situation but i can totally understand the reasons why they have the guidelines in place. Times are far from normal for anyone. I think you just have to focus on being able to to continue to meet her in the part, which is better than nothing at all, even though it's not what both of you want.

    I wish i had a solution for you but sadly i don't.
    Proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice I have given to members here on the community.
  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Posts: 4,097

    Scope community team

    Hello @Thomas1991 and welcome to the community, hope you're doing alright today :) 

    Sorry to hear about the situation with your sister, it sounds like a very tricky thing to handle. The pandemic has impacted people's social and family lives in so many ways and it's a shame to hear about the difficulties it's brought your family.

    I hope other users will be able to advise on your circumstances, you've certainly come to the right place for help and support, this is a really friendly and welcoming community :) 
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  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 11,085 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Thomas1991 Welcome to the community glad you have joined us here

    That is a difficult situation to be in for your family and I would suspect the care home isnt happy about it either as it must impact on your sisters care 

    Unfortunately I dont have any solution for you apart from what you are already doing 

    Keep us updated and let us know if you find a suitable solution
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,976

    Scope community team

    Hi @Thomas1991 Welcome and please vent away.  It's such a difficult position you and your sister have been placed in and I really hope the restrictions are lifted soon to let her visit you properly.  If your post is anything to go by it sounds like your sister has an extremely caring family and I am sure she will know how much she is loved.

    Please keep us updated with how you get on.  
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  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,653 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Thomas1991, how are things going? I imagine this has been really tough!

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