Housing and independent living
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Nowhere to turn mortgage advice

kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
my husband and I put our house up for sale as our daughter is 11 and is sharing with her 9yo brother who has autism.

We put our house up for sale and had offers. However when it came to getting a mortgage we have been refused. This is totally down to me as i had a severe mental episode where I was not paying bills and ended up getting defaults. We've tried z broker but can't get a mortgage. I just don't know what to do. We have a big deposit for a new house but can't get a mortgage. We need a 4 bed house with the 3 kids. We can't afford to rent as the rental would be double what our mortgage would be. We can't get social housing as by selling our house we're making ourselves homeless 

Catch22. Its all my and I can't look my husband or children in the eye as I've put us in this situation. I feel like I'm on the edge. I have no clue what to do.
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Replies

  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,747 Disability Gamechanger
    edited September 2020
    Hello and welcome to the community @kmoyse79 :) I'm glad you've found us and reached out for some support.

    I've moved your post into the Housing category. 

    I can understand that this would be a very distressing situation. Please try not to blame yourself, as it wasn't your fault that you were experiencing mental health difficulties. 

    I'll have a look to see if I can find you any information online, as this isn't something I know about personally. Hopefully some of our members will have more experience and knowledge in this area, and will be able to offer you some advice. Do you mind me asking whether you or your husband work?

    Are you accessing any support for your mental health at the moment? 

    We'll do our best to help you find a solution.
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

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  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,747 Disability Gamechanger
    Have you read this Which article on 'how to get a mortgage with late repayments and defaults'?

    It might also be worth having a word with Citizens Advice at some point. If you're worried about becoming homeless, it could be worth speaking to Shelter, who might be able to let you know what your options are. 
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

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  • kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Hi. Both my husband and i both work. We will not be homeless as we can pull the sale of the house. However we are still in the position that we have 2 boys who can't share due to their individual needs and our daughter is suffering sharing with our youngest son. I keep saying to myself I should be grateful that I have a home. I am just concerned on the mental health and wellbeing of the 3 children. The two boys both have disabilities and need their own rooms. Especially when they are having meltdowns. I feel like such a failure as a wife, a parent and as a general human being. 😭
  • leeCalleeCal Member Posts: 2,684 Disability Gamechanger
    Have you thought of extending, perhaps a loft conversion? Sometimes it’s better to extend than to move especially if you like a lot about the neighbourhood and house you’re presently occupying @kmoyse79?
  • kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    We have no money to enable us to extend 😪🥺. We spent any savings we had on private sensory and physical therapy for our youngest as the NHS waiting list was so long and after 18 months of waiting we had little choice but to go private as he was getting worse.also, it is a only a small terrace so space for a staircase into the attic is non existant. 
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 22,213 Disability Gamechanger
    HI and welcome,

    Have you looked into a disabled facilities grant? I don't know if they cover these sort of things but it's definitely worth looking into.


    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 2,204 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @kmoyse79 have you tried what they call "a whole of market broker" ? they often have access to mortgages other brokers don't have 
  • kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Our broker was a whole market broker. 😭 I'm just a pathetic person who has ruined my husbands and children's lives and future.

    Even if we got a disabled facilities grant I just dont know where or how our house can extend. Its a 2bed terrace. We turned the dining room into  a 3rd bedroom already 🥺😒😩😫🙎🏻‍♀️
  • CressCress Member Posts: 334 Pioneering
    Hi and welcome! 
    Could the large deposit you have for a new house not be used for extending?
    I hope you get the help you need.
    Financial worries on top of everything else with your children must be very hard to cope with.
    Best wishes.
  • CressCress Member Posts: 334 Pioneering
    ...also, if you dont feel a loft conversion would be possible have you thought about extending down?
  • kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    The deposit would be from the sake of the house, but if we withdraw the sale we have no money. Never thought about extending down 🤔 didnt know it was possible. Thank you all for the replies.  I just didn't know where to turn or what to do. I am just so ashamed of myself for putting us in this position. I don't think my husband realised how bad it was until our mortgage got declined and we got the credit report. I am such a burden on my family 😔
  • kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    sorry I meant the sale. Not sake
  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 2,204 Disability Gamechanger
    @kmoyse79 one other idea have you considered "shared ownership" where e.g you buy 70% of the house and rent the other 30%? lots of new builds offer this.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 22,213 Disability Gamechanger
    woodbine said:
    @kmoyse79 one other idea have you considered "shared ownership" where e.g you buy 70% of the house and rent the other 30%? lots of new builds offer this.

    Great advice here, Although it will depend on what equity you have in your current house, as you're unable to get that mortgage. If the equity is big enough then a mortgage may not be needed. Worth looking into. https://www.sharetobuy.com/guides-and-faqs/what-is-shared-ownership/

    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    We have 100% equity as no mortgage. I have since paid off all my debt i incurred but the defaults will show for 5 years. We have considered shared ownership but the prices of the houses available in our area are ridiculous. We would be paying more on rent than we would for a mortgage on that half of the house which, over time means they are getting way more out of us from rent than the half is worth. You also need a good credit rating
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 22,213 Disability Gamechanger
    Then i have no idea what you can do other than go down the grant route, although it's not guaranteed that you will receive it. If you do then you must intend to continue to live in the property for at least 5 years.

    I hope you do find some solution. Good luck.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • kmoyse79kmoyse79 Member Posts: 8 Listener
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,680 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @kmoyse79, this isn't specifically for housing, but Family Fund could help with other aspects. They are a charity that can award grants to families who are raising disabled children. 
    Community Partner
    Scope

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  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,747 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @kmoyse79! I just wanted to check-in to see how you were getting on? I can see that people were able to give you a few suggestions, have you had a bit of time to mull your options over? 
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

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