Mental health issues
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Cannot function

TopkittenTopkitten Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
Once more my GP has tried to get me onto AD's and yet again I agreed, despite having miserable results with 15 or so different ones over the years. Yet again the medications that slowly accumulate (which all AD's do) has caused me issues and it turned me into a zombie. So much so that I couldn't function except on a limited basis. Now, even though I am off them again the inability to function has continued despite being off the meds for weeks. I can't get anything done and yet I know I have some things that really must be at least attempted to be sorted. Instead I regress into a fantasy based game and never try to get out of it. I can feel the abyss opening in front of me and worry that if I try to sort anything and fail I will plunge headfirst back into suicide. I really need my kids to help out but they don't even contact me anymore and it's been months. Having care has actually made things worse because although I am eating better I am doing nothing else. It's like they have taken over my life and I don't need to do anything for myself now. Social Care have stopped calling, the GP has given up and just keeps trying to refer me off onto someone else and a referral for assistance that was made months ago to get me some help and advice has been ignored or at least not actioned.

I just feel like no one cares about me anymore, at least not anyone that could help.

TK
"I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.

Replies

  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Posts: 4,114

    Scope community team

    edited October 2020
    Hi @Topkitten

    I'm very sorry to read that things haven't been going well for you lately, although it's always nice to see you on the community.

    It's a shame that the medication doesn't seem to make a difference for you, and that you struggle to function without it as well. Has your GP provided a reason as to why so many different kinds of medication aren't working for you?  I wonder if there are any other paths that can be explored there.

    Has there been a reason given as to why social care have stopped getting in touch with you? I would imagine that if you had a care plan in place but felt they were taking tasks away from you that you would be able to do yourself, you could discuss those issues with them and work something out.

    And always remember if you felt you needed the opinion of a different GP, you can always get one. If you feel like your GP is trying to fob you off then this may be a good idea.

    I'm concerned to see you mentioning the possibility of progressing towards suicide, just always remember that if you want to just talk to anybody you can text the Shout service by sending SHOUT to 85258, or you can call Samaritans on 116 123 24/7. And if you ever feel like you might harm yourself, please go to your nearest A&E or dial 999.

    It's puzzling that the referral for further assistance and advice was ignored, as you say at the end there. Did you receive no contact about it?

    I'll also reiterate that you will be forever cared about on this community. 
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  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 9,126 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Topkitten - I'm sorry to read that not everything that should have been put into place for you has happened. You mention a 'referral for assistance,' to which sort of department/team should this have gone?
    Have you contacted your children saying you could do with their help? It seems to me that these 2 things are worth fighting for. Please try.
    Did you manage to get a table that went over your bed btw? Take care.
  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 11,137 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Topkitten I was wondering where you had been as you havent been around.

    As always we care about you and wish we could do more than just offer support.

    I would really try and contact your children and try and reach out to them and explain how much their support would help you even if they just call you it would be better than nothing.

    Could you write them a letter to explain your feelings 
  • woodbinewoodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,437 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Topkitten sorry you are feeling as you do, the only suggestion I have is to make a list of everything you need to do and try and tick one off every day if you can.
    "Putting a child into care, isn't caring for a child" (T.Rhattigan)
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,990

    Scope community team

    Hello @Topkitten I missed seeing you about the community too.  

    To add to what everyone else has said, we all care about you very much and want you to feel better.  You aren't in this alone.  

    Your love for your children really stands out and I think @janer1967 's idea of writing a letter to them is worth considering.  Sometimes the silence needs to be broken and although being vulnerable and putting yourself out there isn't easy, at least you will have expressed your feelings and they will know where you stand.  As someone with close experience of a similar thing, I would say if you were my dad, I'd love to hear from you.  

    Wishing you all the best and I hope today has been a better one for you  <3
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  • Wini1960Wini1960 Member Posts: 126 Pioneering
    [email protected] When you cannot see the wood from the trees its really difficult to be positive. I found that counselling and ADs worked well for me. If your Doctor is just giving you AD that alone is not going to work. I had over 18 sessions exploring a lot of painful issues. Sometimes we can cover our pain with ADs like a plaster without getting to the route of our problems. Unfortunately, counsellors are inandated with so many people suffering with their mental health due to the pandemic. If your not getting the help you need get in touch with PAL that will get things moving it did for me. I wish you all the best🙂💜
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