Hello, I am new to the forum. I have a persistent pain condition that has been ongoing for almost ten years and has progressively got worse over time. I’ve never had a proper diagnosis and feel my doctor doesn’t take me seriously. I have been prescribed pain medication but this just masks the pain so I try to avoid taking it. It’s got to the point that I am unable to exercise anymore without triggering the pain. I am able to walk up to an hour on flat ground at a gentle pace, so this is what I have been doing the last few months to try to keep active. I used to love cycling but I am unable to do that or I’ll be in terrible pain for days or weeks afterwards.
I experience nerve pain in my lower back, pelvis and legs, whole body fatigue, muscle spasms and headaches. I am 31 but I feel so much older than my age, I feel so run down and ill all the time and it is really affecting my mental health. I have developed social anxiety and depression. I’ve lost contact with friends over the years because I felt too down being around others, I’m not the same person I once was and I feel so alone and miserable.
I was previously employed in an office/reception role that allowed me to sit down most of the day, but I did stand sometimes too. Having the option of both really helped me to manage my pain at work and I was able to work 32 hours a week. I was in this role for six years, however, because of Covid I was furloughed, but this recently finished and they are unable to offer me any work. I found a sales assistant position 10 to 20 hours a week, usually two or three days. I started a month ago, however, the constant standing, walking and repetitive movements have triggered a terrible pain flare up and I feel so unwell. I’m in so much pain on my days off that all I do at the moment is work and rest and it’s really affecting my quality of life. I don’t know how to talk to the manager, I didn’t mention my pain at interview or in the health forms I filled in when I started. I was so desperate for a job I accepted the position and prayed I wouldn’t get any pain. Because of the nature of the job I don’t think they could put anything in place to help me anyway, as it’s only a small team and I worry about how other colleagues would react, especially because my disability is invisible and because of my age.
Ideally I would work in a similar job to my previous office/reception one, however, I have undiagnosed dyslexia, and some kind of processing disorder which make it hard to follow instructions and learn new things. In my previous role I was working with a family member and the company was aware of my dyslexia and they were very understanding, but it took me years to get this role. I just feel I will really struggle in other roles that may be more demanding. I once tried call centre work and I lost the job because I couldn’t keep up with the training. I fear I won’t be able to find a suitable job and I’ll have to force myself to work in more physical roles that cause me pain, or otherwise try and get by on income support, but I don’t know If I will qualify and it probably won’t be enough.
I apologies for the long, rambling post, I am just feeling so worried about the future right now.
