Feeling broken at the minute

Iamstrong

Hi everyone sorry I have not been around today feeling very heartbroken at the minute next friday the 4th of December my darling boy would of been 1 I did not get too meet him as last July he died in my womb at nearly 16 weeks I dont think I will ever get over him hes my baby and always will be I just miss him everyday and I always will god life is cruel I just feel lost ?? I do love him dearly and always will 

Tori_Scope

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss @Iamstrong. I'm sure this must be an incredibly difficult time for you. There's no need to apologise for not being around on the community, you're welcome here whenever you feel up to logging-on

Have you ever sought any specialist support to help you in your journey of grief?  

Iamstrong

@Tori_Scope thanks means alot no I have not asked for support because I dont think I'm ready too speak up about my darling boy yet he had Edward's syndrome and all of his insides was on outside of his body poor boy did not make it I just find this all really hard I never cry infront of my children I cry In bed alone at night then I think what would my baby of looked like etc sometimes I blame myself for what happend but the kind staff at the hospital and my consultant said it was not my fault 

Tori_Scope

I totally understand that it'd be difficult to open up and talk about your boy and what happened @Iamstrong. That being said, I do think it could be worth getting in touch with a specialist organisation, whenever you feel ready. Here are two examples to bear in mind:

• Miscarriage Association: email support, helpline support, live chat, forum, support groups via Zoom
• Cruse: helpline support, email support

Do you have a friend or family member you could talk your feelings through with in those low moments? 

It's definitely not your fault, but you're not the only person to feel that way. Tommy's have some useful information on this.

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry for your loss @Iamstrong, he didn't even make it to half way through term! *cries!*

My thoughts go out to you, will you try again for another child at some point?

janer1967

I totally emphasise with you I suffered a miscarriage many years ago myself and it stays with you imagining what would have been 

One thing I did which helped me was have a build a bear made in memory and had heart put inside I dressed it in dungarees and named him on the certificate and I still have thr bear now and he often gets a bedtime cuddle 

Take care x x 

Iamstrong

@MrAllen1976 thanks and no as this is 2nd time this has happend to me 3 years apart I have 6 children here with me 3 have disabilities but I love them all the same mentally I couldnt do it anymore me losing babies plus I had a rainbow baby in 2017 I lost alot of blood in theatre nearly died so March this year I had a hysterectomy  

Iamstrong

@janer1967 sorry too hear about your loss I'm sending love your way you takecare too xx

Tori_Scope

A Build-A-Bear is a great idea @janer1967