Dating issues! — Scope | Disability forum
New to the community? Remember to read our community guidelines and our community house rules.
Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Find out how to let us know.

Dating issues!

HollyG
HollyG Member Posts: 7 Listener
Hi everyone 

I'm 19 and haven't got the best dating history  :lol: and it's got to the stage where I want to experience a meaningful and aspects of a physical relationship. I overthink everything and this doesn't help. Any tips? 
Tagged:

Comments

  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,414

    Scope community team

    Hiya @HollyG

    I had the worst dating history at your age  :D  From awkward dates to people who I really wasn't suited to at all!  It's understandable that you'd like to have a relationship that is meaningful and physical though.  It's a lovely thing to experience.

    What do you tend to overthink about?  Also, are you able to meet people easily?  I'll get my thinking cap on.
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,211 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @HollyG The main advice I would give is dont rush in and 19 is very young to be in a relationship its time for you to find out what you are looking for and exploring. 

    Gert to know the person first make sure you feel comfortable with them and also talk about your physical expectations before partaking . I would say maybe a more experienced partner but that could also have its downside if their expectations are more advanced than you want.

    Also take the physical side slow and build it up making sure you are comfortable each time with how far it goes   
    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • HollyG
    HollyG Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Hiya Cher

    I'm glad it's not just me! I've had multiple boyfriends all who have been friends before. I've tried disability dating sites and it went no where. 

    I literally over think everything from "am I  in this relationship just because I want a boyfriend" to "why he isn't holding my hand"

    I'm in a wheelchair and am non verbal. I use an eye gaze computer to communicate so I guess that has something to do with it. 

    Thanks 
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,414

    Scope community team

    edited November 2020
    Good advice @janer1967

    @HollyG I'm going to be posting later this week about dating with an embarrassing illness when I was younger and I think you'll be able to relate, I'll make sure to post you a link here.  Not that you have an embarrassing illness, but I was very much preoccupied with what my dates thought of me, and I worried a lot about whether I made them happy when it should have been the other way around! 

    Remember that you deserve someone who makes you happy and who you can completely be yourself around.  I like the idea of starting off as friends first, that's what me and my bloke were :) (now I can't get rid of him, ha) 

    Have you tried the Outsiders dating and social club?  Its run for and by disabled people.  I'm sure your prince is out there (after the frogs) so don't lose heart.  
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
  • HollyG
    HollyG Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thanks for the advice both! My friends always say that but I still can't help but rush things!

Brightness

Do you need advice on your energy costs?


Scope’s Disability Energy Support service is open to any disabled household in England or Wales in which one or more disabled people live. You can get free advice from an expert adviser on managing energy debt, switching tariffs, contacting your supplier and more. Find out more information by visiting our
Disability Energy Support webpage.

Fancy a chat in our virtual coffee lounge?

Put the kettle on and have a chat in our coffee lounge with other members. We talk about hobbies, games and anything else you can think of!

Cerebral Palsy (CP) Online Cafe

Here's a new opportunity for people with CP or a similar disability (aged 20+) to get together and chat. The sessions are in partnership with CP Sport so you can find out more and meet people from both organisations.

Are you struggling?

Read our 'Coping with stress, low mood and isolation' support thread for a run-down of ideas on how to banish those blues and feel happier.

What do you think about the community?

Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community a better space for you.

Information about COVID-19

If you have questions about the virus, please read our information and support which includes guidance on benefits, getting food and essentials and Cerebral Palsy.

Back to school this September?

Read tips on how to settle back in and handle any worries you or your children might be having this new term.