Dating issues!

HollyG

Hi everyone 

I'm 19 and haven't got the best dating history  and it's got to the stage where I want to experience a meaningful and aspects of a physical relationship. I overthink everything and this doesn't help. Any tips? 

Cher_Alumni

Hiya @HollyG

I had the worst dating history at your age    From awkward dates to people who I really wasn't suited to at all!  It's understandable that you'd like to have a relationship that is meaningful and physical though.  It's a lovely thing to experience.

What do you tend to overthink about?  Also, are you able to meet people easily?  I'll get my thinking cap on.

janer1967

Hi @HollyG The main advice I would give is dont rush in and 19 is very young to be in a relationship its time for you to find out what you are looking for and exploring. 

Gert to know the person first make sure you feel comfortable with them and also talk about your physical expectations before partaking . I would say maybe a more experienced partner but that could also have its downside if their expectations are more advanced than you want.

Also take the physical side slow and build it up making sure you are comfortable each time with how far it goes   

HollyG

Hiya Cher

I'm glad it's not just me! I've had multiple boyfriends all who have been friends before. I've tried disability dating sites and it went no where. 

I literally over think everything from "am I  in this relationship just because I want a boyfriend" to "why he isn't holding my hand"

I'm in a wheelchair and am non verbal. I use an eye gaze computer to communicate so I guess that has something to do with it. 

Thanks 

Cher_Alumni

Good advice @janer1967

@HollyG I'm going to be posting later this week about dating with an embarrassing illness when I was younger and I think you'll be able to relate, I'll make sure to post you a link here.  Not that you have an embarrassing illness, but I was very much preoccupied with what my dates thought of me, and I worried a lot about whether I made them happy when it should have been the other way around! 

Remember that you deserve someone who makes you happy and who you can completely be yourself around.  I like the idea of starting off as friends first, that's what me and my bloke were (now I can't get rid of him, ha) 

Have you tried the Outsiders dating and social club?  Its run for and by disabled people.  I'm sure your prince is out there (after the frogs) so don't lose heart.  

HollyG

Thanks for the advice both! My friends always say that but I still can't help but rush things!