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Hi, my name is lainyjane! I'd like to connect with other parents and carers

lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
edited December 2020 in Parents and carers
Hello I'm just new in here. I hope you are all well and keeping safe in these difficult times. 
I'm a full time carer for both my adult sons as well as working a full time job. It can be exhausting at times but my boys are more than worth it. I know I cant go on the way I am at the moment but I'm in a bit of a rut. I've no time to see friends and little time to even help my mum as I rent a house to my eldest lad and unfortunately he has become very destructive.  I spend almost every weekend and all my anual leave fixing his house. My youngest so 29 lives with me. He has high cerebral palsy and aspergers and is currently studying law at uni. You might think that with the accodemic ability to do this he may not need much support , that isnt the case. He is completely isolated due to covid as all uni work is from home. I'm having to divide my time between both my boys and my mum , leaving me no time to relax , catch up with friends or even have a holiday. 
I love my job and it's a bit of an escape although it's just going from one caring roll to another
 I have many health issues but I just carry on take what ever medication I need and do what needs to be done.
. I'm sure lots of people on here have similar stories . It would be good to chat to other parent in this situation 

Kind regards 

Lainyjane 

Replies

  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 2,344 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @lainyjane and welcome to scope, we are a very supportive gang of people and always here to listen, it sounds like you have your hands full.
  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Yes my lads are worth it but I'm feeling quite exhausted x
  • janer1967janer1967 Community champion Posts: 6,459 Disability Gamechanger
    You must be exhausted with all that to deal with and I salute you 

    We are always here to help and support even if it's just a chat 
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,485 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @lainyjan - & welcome to the community from me too. It seems like you're doing everything possible for your sons, but have absolutely no time to look after yourself, which is much needed to keep you going. We are always here to listen, & other parents in a similar situation will most definitely understand.
    I'm sure Poppy is helping you on your other thread, but we are all here ready to support you in any way we can.....just let us know.  :)
  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Thank you it's only recently I've realised I nead a bit of help. It's only for so long we can be all things to everyone. 
    I also believe with my experience I could probably show others they arent alone x

    Kind regards 

    Lainyjane 
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,485 Disability Gamechanger
    You're most welcome, & thank you for your kind reply. You need to look after yourself in order to look after your loved ones, which you know. I'm sure your experience will also resonate with other parents, so thank you for sharing.
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,788 Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2020
    Welcome to the community @lainyjane :) I just wanted to echo what the others have said, and thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds as though you've got a lot on your plate, so please know that we're here to support you.

    His situation is different to yours, but carer Dan White recently wrote a blog post for us for Carers Rights Day which you might like to read. 

    I look forward to seeing you around! Please do give us a shout if there's anything you need.
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  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Thank you for getting in touch. 
    I'll look this up.later. I'm in work just now,  an 11 hour shift. Its a good job I like my work lol 
    I'm on Anual leave for a week so it would be good to see what others are experiencing. 

    Kind regards 

    Lorraine 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,788 Disability Gamechanger
    Blimey, it is certainly a good job that you enjoy it @lainyjane! Have you considered taking on fewer hours, or is that not an option? 

    I hope you enjoy your annual leave when it rolls around :) 
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  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    I'm in a management roll so no it's not an option. But as I said I like my job . I'm just doing a bit to much outside work at the moment leaving me with very little personal time 

    Kind regards 

    Lainyjane 
  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,123 Pioneering
    I'm sorry to hear that @lainyjane, will you get a break over Christmas? Like time off work?
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  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    I've taken Anual leave this week. My youngest has his exams so I'm here to take the dog out make sure hes got everything he needs etc all exams are from home. So just trying to take the presure off a little bit. Having a bit of a break as well and I'll catch up with some jobs in my other lads house. As well as catch up with Christmas shopping. The list gets better the more I think about it lol 

  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,123 Pioneering
    I hope you manage to fit some relaxation into your schedule, you deserve it @lainyjane :) 

    I understand what you mean about Christmas shopping, the big day is creeping closer and I've not finishedm ine yet 
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  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Most of mine has been on line but I dont like buying clothes on line as it never looks the same when it arrives. I tent to replace my eldest entire wardrobe at Christmas. He goes through a lot of clothes. Hes mentally about 5 and likes characters on his clothes so I've taken to printing godzila, godzooki, sonic as well as lots of sea life animals on his clothes. Even if it just a small image somewhere on it hes happy to hear the item. This is even underwear lol. This young man makes me smile every day . Hes such a wee charicto himself 
    Kind regards

    Lainyjane x
  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,123 Pioneering
    I love how much effort you go to to make your son happy @lainyjane, you sound like a super parent :) 

    Those clothes must look so cool!
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  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    I'm sure they do to my boy as he wont wear anything else. Unfortunately they dont last long as he is a bit rough 
  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,123 Pioneering
    Ah that's a shame that they don't last very long, do the clothes take you long to make?
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  • lainyjanelainyjane Member Posts: 12 Listener
    No it doesn't take long to print on them . So it's fine 
  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,123 Pioneering
    Ah okay, I'm glad it doesn't take too long then
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