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Divorce - what am I entitled to

mandiesw

I am separating from my husband, my choice, we have drifted apart and just become friends.

I don’t work and he is a high earner. He has stocks, savings, isa’s, pensions and has suggested going 50/50. This would allow me to get a small house with some savings left over. Question is, should I accept what he’s offering or should I go through solicitors? He’s usually a fair guy, but as it’s my choice, is bound to be bitter. Should I be asking for a financial disclosure?

Should I be asking for more than 50% because I’m disabled? Or spouses Maintaince? Would this be taking the mick as it’s me that wants to leave?

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Comments

Lisatho11987777

In my own experience of divorce you put your case of what you expect your husband to pay out to you and he puts his case to say what he is willing to pay out

Its normsly then sorted between the two parties if they can come to an agreement if not then it goes to court and the court will look at both sides and try to work out a compromise or states what has to be paid and what doesn't have to be paid unless there is an agreement in places

This is just from my own experience but you resly need to seek legal advice because not all divorces are the same

Ross_Alumni

Hi @mandiesw

Hope you're well.

Ultimately the decision on how much you should settle or go for is up to you, if you think a 50/50 split is fair then go for it, if not then perhaps you should seek legal advice.

Whatever happens, ensure you have in writing what the agreement is, and have it signed by both parties.

In fact, I would feel inclined to seek professional advice regardless. It always helps to know your rights and the laws around it.

Lisatho11987777

@woodbine maintainence is always paid unfortunately whatever the reason

Lisatho11987777

@Ross_Scope as you said always try for 50percent depends how much is protected by law I ended up with 30per cent and maintenence all divorces are different it can work both ways a man can also claim frim a woman

Cress

My advice would be always use a solicitor....how ever nice everyone starts out being it can soon get nasty...

Lisatho11987777

@Cress exactly when it comes to money and property its never good and that's from my own experience

Lisatho11987777

@Cressida I dint know if this still happens but maintenence used to be taken from benefits or from wages years ago don't know if this still happens

leeCal

As previously suggested I’d recommend going via a solicitor just to ensure all is settled and bound legally.

mandiesw

Thank you everyone for your help. I don’t want to sound like a greedy ex who ran off with the money. I just want what’s fair. I don’t really want to go down the maintenance route, I just didn’t know whether anyone had any experience in this. I’ve heard of people that have had 60%, and others that had 50% and after all the legal bits were over, found out that there was hidden money.

I know it’s my choice, we’ve just grown apart.

Lisatho11987777

@mandiesw nobody thinks that you just have to do what's right for you divorce is hard and when it comes to money and things its harder

Thsts why resly its best to get legal advice to make sure you get whst your entitled to I only got 30 percent because my ex had what they call protected money and because any money my ex had or anything he owned before we met I wasn't entitled to I did better than I thought I would but only with legal advice and it went to court

I hope that you get the settlement you want and need and I hope it doesn't get to distressing for you take care

Garza

I think it is quite difficult to comment without knowing all of the ins and outs of the situation, also as others have said every divorce is different, my personal view is that, as the person who is instigating the divorce being offered a 50 50 split which will enable you to come away with a house and savings seems to be a pretty good offer

Again as others have said in terms of spousal maintenance I think that would depend on whether you would want to be still tied to your ex husband financially or wish to make a clean break entirely

Lisatho11987777

@woodbine I am still onabout the same thing years ago if a man refused to pay the court orderd it to be taken from wages or benefits

Lisatho11987777

@woodbine as the lady isn't asking for it then its not a problem

mandiesw

I don’t want maintenance, I just want to know if I should be looking for more than 50% due to being disabled whilst being in the 15 yr marriage and no longer able to work (he is also my career, so I will need to pay for that too).

He can still continue to earn, I don’t hold anything against him, we will always be friends, we have just grown apart. I certainly don’t want to stitch him up, I am simply looking for advice. If later down the line something happens and I’m told that I should have been entitled to something different before I sign the dotted line (he doesn’t want to hand over anything till we’ve sorted finances and applied for divorce), so I need to do the right thing. I was just hoping for some advice from someone who may have gone through this or had the knowledge, as I could pay a solicitor, but if it costs me a fortune to be told I should just take 50:50, I would be even more out of pocket.

Please don’t think I am a man hater or out to start an argument, I still love him, but only in a friendship way, certainly not to rip him off. I just need to live too.

leeCal

Don’t solicitors still give the first ten minutes or so freely?
or perhaps citizens advice could help.

janer1967

Hi having been divorced 3 times I would suggest 50% is very much in your favour especially if he has made the bigger contribution to the finances over the years

A solicitor would advise him to offer less if this was the case and yours would fight for more

You can get 30 mins of free legal advice I would suggest you get that

You can divorce by doing it yourself for £550 if it is uncomplicated which is what I have done

Also after divorce he will prob need a complete break order or you can be entitled to future pension or lottery win or inheritance

janer1967

@lisathomas50

Child maintenance can be taken from earnings if the person does not pay as agreed

Bit like my ex he just stopped working to get out of it

I've not heard of spouse maintenance for a long time does it still exist ?

janer1967

There are so many things to take into account when sorting out finances you really do need advice from legal expert or you may regret it and it could come back at you later down the line

Lisatho11987777

@janer1967 30yesrs ago I was divorced that's why I said I dont know if it still happens my ex died so my maintenance stopped but got a lump some that was owing frim his estate not child for myself thry used to take it fom his wages but the lady isn't going to do that so its not a problem and as I think most of us have said legal help is defiantly required and all divorces are different

Lisatho11987777

@janer1967 my brother just got back to me he is a divorce lsyer spouse maintenence can still be asked for in a divorce as part of settlement when its asked for years in some cases not all a judge can order it in certain circumstances