Feeling like I’m relapsing again not coping well

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cupcake88
cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
in Mental health and wellbeing
Hi every one 

Its started snowing in my area I have been dreading snow for months . Snow /ice triggers bad memories for my self . As soon as I see snow my ptsd is triggered even seeing it on telly makes me really I’ll . It could be the tiniest amount of snow and my ptsd is triggered . I can see it snowing outside it’s not settling but I’m in a massive panic . 

I have spoken to the crisis team today and there gonna get my nurse to call me tomorrow . I feel like I’m relapsing again the voices in my head are getting louder and I can see the devil again he’s out side my window in my garden my partner said there’s nothing there but I see the horned creature I’m very scared . I just took a diazepam on top of my other medications and still feel panicked . 

I’m trying to distract my self so I have come on here but I’m looking out the window and it’s still there . 
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Comments

  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 shut your curtains  try and relax  tell me about nice things you have done in  your life  have you  done interesting things what do you like doing ? 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 are you ok 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    My partner is on the phone to the crisis team again as he said he’s worried bout me but I just can’t stop looking outside I’m scared . 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 try not to look out the window  sit down take deep breaths in and out  try to forget about outside its ok no one is going to hurt you 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 dint be scared your partner is eith you and he is trying to get you help 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    Yes my partner is amazing he can’t see what I can see I’m feeling very anxious . The crisis team are comming out to see me I think I’m not well again . 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 thats good that your partner is good and someone is comeing out  your going to be ok  your safe and uour inside  try and sit down and stay calm and think of good things 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Online Community Member Posts: 17,155 Championing
    Oh, my dear friend, please take comfort in the fact your partner appreciates your concerns, & will do his utmost to help. Try not to be scared; the past is the past, & you really can look forward to a better future with your loving partner. He's your rock, & will always there for you, as are your friends here.
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 I know your scared  but its not realy happening  its gone its in the past  try and put goid thoughts in your head and breath in and out  help is comeing and your partner is there 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 I know what is like I have been there  and belive me its not real its your past  it can't hurt you now  your in a different place now  try to push it away 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 are you ok 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    The crisis team are on there way and my partner is here . I’ll keep every one updated I’m just really not so good at the moment . 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
     @cupcake88 thats fine  take care  and thst will be good to know how you are thinking of you
  • Cress
    Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
    Sending you my best wishes....
    Hope you get the help you need and get back on track.
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Online Community Member Posts: 7,877 Championing
    Sending you lots of love and hugs @cupcake88 ❤
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Hope you're doing okay @cupcake88

    We all send you best wishes. 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    Hi every one thanks for your kind words , the crisis team decided I wasn’t poorly enough for hospital but not well enough to be just under my community team . They feel I need to go  back under the home based treatment team where they can come out to me a few times a day or constantly call me so sort of hospital from home I feel like this is going back wards . 

    I was given a injection to calm me down and to help with my voices and with seeing things . I feel really exhausted but wanted to let you all know how iam . 

    I haven’t been taking my medication properly so I’ll be having anti pychotic meds in injection form every 4 weeks which has upset me as I’m going backwards they no longer trust me to take my medication . 

    I’m feeling really tiered I’ll be back on soon just wanted to update you all . Thanks for the kind words . I’m really not so well at the moment I’ll be back on soon x 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 take the time to get better glad your getting the help you need 
    Take care ? 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Online Community Member Posts: 17,155 Championing
    Pleased to hear from you @cupcake88 - thank you for getting back in touch, even tho you feel so poorly. I'm sure you know we've all been thinking about you. I'm pleased you will get help, but can still stay at home, as I'm sure your partner is, & he will be there for you too.
    Don't think of it as a backwards step, but just one you need right now to help you move forward again. Just take time to look after yourself for now, & rest. :)
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Thank you for the update @cupcake88

    You have our full support and I wish you the very best. Hopefully the changes benefit you in the short-term and you will be able to get back on the path towards where you want to be :) 


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