Overspending

coylygirl

 I am in a manic phase, but heavily sedated so quite calm at the moment. But I am spending too much money, particularly on Amazon. I am in debt due to my financially abusive ex partner - relationship ended 2 weeks ago, hence the bipolar relapse. I am struggling with depression and mania, rapid cycling and to cheer myself up, I buy myself little gifts. I get satisfaction from browsing, the pleasure of finding just the right item with the perfect motto and the excitement of the package(s) arriving within a day or 2. I have just enough money to pay my bills next month and am in the process of re-instating my PIP and Disability premium, but this will take time. My ex owes me £15,000 and I will have to take him to court but there is no guarantee that I will be successful. So I am in a financial bind but just can't seem to stop the spending. It's mainly little things like mugs, fridge magnets etc, but I did buy an Amazon tablet as my ex stole mine and my laptop is on its way out, plus it was £20 off (see I'm justifying myself). I live alone and although I have plenty of support from friends and professionals, I get very lonely at night. Sorry to ramble on and don;' know what replies I expect, just had to get the guilt off mu chest. Thanks for taking the time to read this

Oxonlady

Hi @coylygirl, I'm sorry about your predicament. Are there any Money Advice organisations you could consult? In some areas MIND offer sound advice regarding financial problems.

I know exactly how you feel, I also do shopping online when I'm depressed or upset. I'm not sure what the answer is but it's great that you feel you can share this with the lovely people here at Scope. 
Take good care. 

woodbine

Hi again, do you use a credit card to pay amazon? if so could you speak to them and ask them to stop accepting it?
As for ex owing you money it's only worth taking him to court if you know he has the means or access to the means to repay you.
If you are worried about personal debt you could have a chat to step change a free advice from a great charity.
https://www.stepchange.org/

coylygirl

Thank you  for your reply.  I'm having a phone call from the domestic abuse charity Splitz as I was a victim of
financial (as well as other) abuse, so hopefully they will help with the court case.  I have heard of step change but found the forms complicated in my current head space.  I will try MIND, hadn't thought of them.  Thank you.  I guess distraction and talking to you lovely people is the answer to stopping spending 

coylygirl

woodbine said:

Hi again, do you use a credit card to pay amazon? if so could you speak to them and ask them to stop accepting it?
As for ex owing you money it's only worth taking him to court if you know he has the means or access to the means to repay you.
If you are worried about personal debt you could have a chat to step change a free advice from a great charity.
https://www.stepchange.org/

That's a good idea about the credit card;  Qill also try ty get my head around stepchange Thanks pal x

Ross_Alumni

Hi @coylygirl

As mentioned above, Step Change is a good option for financial advice, as is the Money Advice Service.

I always find as well that setting saving targets helps me stop spending unnecessary money, because I have a goal to aim for. 

Please remember that we are always here for you if you need support, and you can always refer to our previous emails if you need further signposting   I recall that your ex is being handled by the police, which is good. Hope the call with Splitz goes well

coylygirl

Thanks so much Ross, Splitz can give advice on trying to retrieve money from my ex but I know I have to address the debt.  I will defo look at Step Change again.  Kind regards, Nic

RobinRed

A good place to get help with both debt and not feeling so alone is debtors anonymous, with many meetings online via zoom. Here is a link to their meetings https://debtorsanonymous.org.uk/meetings-list, just pick a location and find the zoom link or meeting id there. Good luck.

coylygirl

Thank you so much, that is really helpful and I will give it a try