Mixing with people — Scope | Disability forum
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Mixing with people

Welshjayne2021
Welshjayne2021 Member Posts: 85 Courageous
Hi I have just responded to @JBro post about meeting with other disabled people only, at least that’s how I understood his question.  I am curious to know why some disabled people are only happy to connect with their own kind.  I find this very strange as if we (the disabled) want to be seen as equal in society, why would we keep to certain groups.  If you go to work, unless it protected employment, the majority of us will work with non-disabled.  Yes I know its not always easy and some people will go out of their way to make things difficult, but those “idiots” will always be there. I certainly experienced problems when I worked for the Civil Service, but on the whole people were excepting.
I would interested in hearing you views on this matter.  I can only speak from my own experience.  I came from a home where you learnt to look after yourself from a very early age.  So maybe this has had a huge influence to my attitude with living with Cerebral Palsy.

Comments

  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 7,436 Scope online community team
    I'm not sure that many people will want to only interact with just disabled people, but there's always a desire there to meet more disabled people.

    At the end of the day, I don't mind whether someone I meet is disabled or not, as long as they treat me right and I like them, but there are moments where I wish I could know more disabled people, in particular disabled people who share my experiences, so that we can bond over those shared experiences.
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,720 Disability Gamechanger
    Mine is a hidden disability, and whilst it's by no means rare I don't know (in person) anybody else who has the same condition, I do have friends who have disabilities but that's maybe because i'm in my 60's now and live amongst people who are a similar age if not older.
    What I do know is that when I became disabled at the age of 38, I lost all my friends, personal and all my ex work colleagues as I had to stop working. What kept me going was my family.
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  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Member Posts: 4,677 Disability Gamechanger
    It's down to what an individual wants to do, their own choices,  
    If a person wants to meet and socialise with other persons they can relate to then I don't see that as being strange. 
    I find that alot of people from different community similarity s   form a circuit. Such as sexual, religious and simular back grounds also that of simular interests hobbies. It doesn't mean they don't step out of that circle, just people's preferences. 
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,176 Scope online community team
    I came from a similar background as you @Welshjayne2021. I didn't know a lot of disabled people. However, as I grew older and became a dad I wanted to know the experiences of other men with CP as my other circle of good friends had no real insight into living, working, parenting with a disability other than what I had told them. 
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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 16,338 Disability Gamechanger
    I am happy to mix with any disabled or non disabled 

    But I agree it is sometimes nice to be around others who can relate to your disability and your limitations if you have any 

    Agree with woodbine becoming disabled I lost my friends and work colleagues and when I look back mist of the time it was me that travelled to see them now I can no longer do this they dont bother with me 

    I do have few good friends tho and family but they dont live local 

    I would love friends near who I can see but when you cant go out on your own it's not easy to find them 


  • Welshjayne2021
    Welshjayne2021 Member Posts: 85 Courageous
    Hi everyone.  Thank you very much for your thoughts.  I hope you didn’t think that I being insensitive, and I certainly didn’t mean to suggest it is wrong to seek the company of disabled people.  Like @Richard_Scope said I haven’t been around many people with disabilities, so I have never seen the need to seek advise from disabled people.  I guess it was the way I was brought up.  Joining this forum was a new experience for me.  Once again, I apologise if I caused offence.
  • JessJ
    JessJ Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Because we humans are programmed to seek out familiarity. Us disabled people are in the same boat so we have something immediately in common to build friendships on. 

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