Cerebral Palsy
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Mixing with people

Welshjayne2021Welshjayne2021 Member Posts: 85 Courageous
Hi I have just responded to @JBro post about meeting with other disabled people only, at least that’s how I understood his question.  I am curious to know why some disabled people are only happy to connect with their own kind.  I find this very strange as if we (the disabled) want to be seen as equal in society, why would we keep to certain groups.  If you go to work, unless it protected employment, the majority of us will work with non-disabled.  Yes I know its not always easy and some people will go out of their way to make things difficult, but those “idiots” will always be there. I certainly experienced problems when I worked for the Civil Service, but on the whole people were excepting.
I would interested in hearing you views on this matter.  I can only speak from my own experience.  I came from a home where you learnt to look after yourself from a very early age.  So maybe this has had a huge influence to my attitude with living with Cerebral Palsy.

Replies

  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Posts: 4,187

    Scope community team

    I'm not sure that many people will want to only interact with just disabled people, but there's always a desire there to meet more disabled people.

    At the end of the day, I don't mind whether someone I meet is disabled or not, as long as they treat me right and I like them, but there are moments where I wish I could know more disabled people, in particular disabled people who share my experiences, so that we can bond over those shared experiences.
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  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 6,637 Disability Gamechanger
    However much people may or may not like to mix, many people are not comfortable or confident in doing so until they’ve found their own community and that often means meeting with likely the only people they can talk to who don’t need their conditions explaining to them. It’s nothing to do with equality and everything to do with being able to have one conversation every now and then where nothing needs explaining.
  • woodbinewoodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,522 Disability Gamechanger
    Mine is a hidden disability, and whilst it's by no means rare I don't know (in person) anybody else who has the same condition, I do have friends who have disabilities but that's maybe because i'm in my 60's now and live amongst people who are a similar age if not older.
    What I do know is that when I became disabled at the age of 38, I lost all my friends, personal and all my ex work colleagues as I had to stop working. What kept me going was my family.
    "Putting a child into care, isn't caring for a child" (T.Rhattigan)
  • Sandy_123Sandy_123 Member Posts: 1,541 Pioneering
    It's down to what an individual wants to do, their own choices,  
    If a person wants to meet and socialise with other persons they can relate to then I don't see that as being strange. 
    I find that alot of people from different community similarity s   form a circuit. Such as sexual, religious and simular back grounds also that of simular interests hobbies. It doesn't mean they don't step out of that circle, just people's preferences. 
  • Richard_ScopeRichard_Scope Posts: 2,839

    Scope community team

    I came from a similar background as you @Welshjayne2021. I didn't know a lot of disabled people. However, as I grew older and became a dad I wanted to know the experiences of other men with CP as my other circle of good friends had no real insight into living, working, parenting with a disability other than what I had told them. 
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  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 11,201 Disability Gamechanger
    I am happy to mix with any disabled or non disabled 

    But I agree it is sometimes nice to be around others who can relate to your disability and your limitations if you have any 

    Agree with woodbine becoming disabled I lost my friends and work colleagues and when I look back mist of the time it was me that travelled to see them now I can no longer do this they dont bother with me 

    I do have few good friends tho and family but they dont live local 

    I would love friends near who I can see but when you cant go out on your own it's not easy to find them 


  • Welshjayne2021Welshjayne2021 Member Posts: 85 Courageous
    Hi everyone.  Thank you very much for your thoughts.  I hope you didn’t think that I being insensitive, and I certainly didn’t mean to suggest it is wrong to seek the company of disabled people.  Like @Richard_Scope said I haven’t been around many people with disabilities, so I have never seen the need to seek advise from disabled people.  I guess it was the way I was brought up.  Joining this forum was a new experience for me.  Once again, I apologise if I caused offence.
  • JessJJessJ Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Because we humans are programmed to seek out familiarity. Us disabled people are in the same boat so we have something immediately in common to build friendships on. 
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