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We want to hear from you: please tell us about your experience of the online community.

Hi, my name is Skye314! I would like to learn more about Autism and Aspergers

Skye314

Hi everyone,

I have signed up to the community as I am interested to learn more about Autism and Aspergers. I hope that I do not cause offence in saying that I've become pretty convinced I have Aspergers, I would like to hear more of peoples experiences so I can decide whether I would like to start the long process of seeking a diagnosis. I feel very intimidated by the thought as I find it impossible to express myself in a way that people understand. It's also rather disheartening to read so many stories online of the difficulties in being heard, and that to this day many people including some doctors still believe this to be an exclusively male condition. However I am reaching a point in my life where I am tired of being misunderstood, and exhausted by the effort it takes me to maintain relationships.

P.s. I would also love to talk to people who are as passionate as myself about facts. My friends and family are probably bored to tears by now from my constant bombardment of information.

Once again, I truly hope my presumption causes no offence. I really have thought long and hard about this and done a fair bit of research. I don't remember a time in life where I haven't felt like I'm sitting on the outskirts of society scratching my head and thinking "why do they do that", "what does that mean", "was that a joke or an insult?", "how is it so easy for everyone else to talk to people?", "why can't I fit in?".

I'm not sure if this was the correct place for such a spiel but this has been on my chest for so long and being back at work these past few days has been tipping me over the edge.

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Comments

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community glad you have joined

I understand your concerns and think you should discuss with your gp initially

You will find lots if info on autism and aspergers on here and also lots of other members who have the conditions

Ask any questions and feel free to join in

Sandy_123

@Skye314 hi and welcome to the forum, I hope you find all the answers to your questions

chiarieds

Hi @Skye314 - & welcome to the community from me too. Do please have a look at the autism & Asperger's section on Scope, which you'll find here: https://forum.scope.org.uk/categories/learning-disabilities-and-autism

Ross_Alumni

Hello @Skye314 and welcome to the community, don't worry your question is completely fine here

I hope you are well today and thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I have moved your discussion over to our autism and aspergers category and changed the title a bit so that other members have an idea of what the topic is about.

Have you spoken with your GP about your symptoms? Do they know that you think you might have it?

I'm interested in your obsession about facts, and let's be honest who doesn't love a good fact! You might find this fun facts thread to be right up your alley!

Ami2301

Hi @Skye314 and welcome to the community! This is exactly how i've been feeling for the past couple of months, and I'm really not sure what to do either. I hope you stick around, we are a friendly bunch and will always help as much as we can

Skye314

Thank you all for such a warm welcome!
@chiarieds thank you for the link. I'll take a look at that tonight, the more references the better.
@Ross_Scope thank you for your assistance. I haven't spoken to a GP so far, I am terrible at booking doctors appointments and am well overdue to see them for a several things. Perhaps it is worth a discussion though, even if I don't pursue a diagnosis I may get some tips on coping better. The link you provided to the facts forum... thank you so much! That's got me excited, my main obsessions are wildlife and human physiology. I live in a great place for wildlife so there's plenty to explore and learn around me. Do you have any fascinations yourself?
@Ami2301 Thank you, it's comforting to know these feelings are shared but I'm sorry you have this stress too. Feel free to reach out to me anytime for a chat. It would be lovely to get to know you more.

chiarieds

Hi @Skye314 - my son didn't receive an official diagnosis, but, following an evaluation by a neuropsychologist, was said to be next door to Asperger's. His main interests are wild cats, but also wildlife in general. I do remember him saying that this was the best Dr he'd ever met, who totally 'understood' him. Can only say that there are positives in pursuing a diagnosis, or just plain finding out more.

Skye314

@chiarieds that's very helpful to know, it's really nice to hear your son has that support. Ooh I love wild cats too! If he hasn't already watched the documentary on Netflix: Tigers of Scotland I highly recommend it. I've visited the Aigas centre before and I applaud them for the work they do. When I was little we had a cat that was part wild cat. She had the most beautiful markings and spent most of her time outdoors.

Ross_Alumni

I see you've already posted in the facts discussion @Skye314 which is lovely to see, thank you for getting involved

I think my main passion is music, I spend way more time than others would deem sensible listening to all kinds of songs, and in normal times I go to shows quite frequently.

Wildlife and human physiology are both very interesting topics, was there anything in particular that sparked your love for those subjects?

ASDIBS

@Skye314
Morning. My son has Asperger's. He's nearly 20 now and was diagnosed at 14. He has a passion for facts but only for information that he's interested in. You can pick my brains if you like as I've been through the whole process with him. ?

Ami2301

Looking forward to getting to know you @Skye314

Skye314

@Ross_Scope Yes thank you so much for directing me to it. What a brilliant and fun idea. I really enjoyed learning new facts and of course now my entire household and the majority of my colleagues have learnt a fair few too.

I did chuckle when I first learnt the term "info bombing" it's the main way I communicate.

Oh I love music too, it's the first thing I do getting into work and getting home again (and of course en-route too, so I guess it's almost all day). An eclectic taste is good too, there is so much variety. I have very varied tastes too but my favourite genres are Rock/Metal/Classical/Scottish. Do you play any instruments or sing at all?

I think it was just my granny and mother that got me into it but I was like a dog with a bone when it came to learning about it. The three of us often spent the weekends outdoors so it started with local wildlife and birdwatching. I would stay at my grannys' on a Saturday and we would tuck ourselves in with nature documentaries. Birds, Bears, Reptiles and Sharks are my absolute favourites though.

Skye314

@ASDIBS thank you that is very kind of you. I do actually have a query for you, what prompted your sons diagnosis in the end. How was he socially, did he mask quite well?

ASDIBS

@Skye314. Hi?. It was actually his year 6 teacher who first brought it to our attention..we didn't have a clue as he's an only child. He didn't mix well with others, said stuff to other children without thinking about their feelings and no organisational skills. He was also very bright at school too. When we looked in to it further, we realised that he met a lot of the symptoms. We always had to pick him up from parties as he didn't mix, he made very few friends, he liked to be challenged and got bored Very easily. He scraped through junior school with Sen support but the main problems began in high school. He didn't interact well, the teachers didn't know how to deal with him and he used to get really angry. He was eventually referred to CAMHS who initially didn't accept my idea that he may be autistic. However after some convincing and attending parenting courses etc, he was referred to CAMHS autistic section and was diagnosed with Aspergers. We took him out of school and placed him in a more challenging mainstream school with an entrance exam. He still experienced difficulties but the staff were a lot better. Whilst there he developed a love for music. He is in to lots of different genres. He loves metal, classical, throat singing and he loves playing instruments. He's got guitars, bass guitars, piano, accordian and probably other stuff too. His music teacher says he's a natural. He plays things by ear, never had a lesson but could listen to something and play back. I'm not really sure if he did mask it. I think people just didn't pick up on it until his behaviour become extreme. He's better now he's older. I think he had learnt to do things that others would find natural. Socially, he's not great but he's better than he was. He's been in a band but did have to leave due to health problems. He doesn't like cinemas, or overly crowded places and he's not confident going to places he's not familiar with. Sorry, waffled on and I don't think anything I've said will help ?. Take care x

Ross_Alumni

Skye314 said:

Oh I love music too, it's the first thing I do getting into work and getting home again (and of course en-route too, so I guess it's almost all day). An eclectic taste is good too, there is so much variety. I have very varied tastes too but my favourite genres are Rock/Metal/Classical/Scottish. Do you play any instruments or sing at all?

What sort of rock and metal music do you listen to?

I used to play drums, and really enjoyed it. I keep meaning to get back into playing one day. What about you?

euro

Hi Skye314. I feel like you wrote a summary of my biography! After almost every sentence, I was nodding, thinking "me, too", except where you mention music and instruments. My relationship with them is one of love and hate, sometimes pendular, often simultaneous, always frustrating! But virtually everything else you wrote could have been written about me.

When I first heard of Aspergers, it was assumed that autism and (then separate) Aspergers affected almost exclusively males who demonstrated autistic traits from a very young age and that Aspergers always had a savant skill. Many years later, I got a nudge from an Aspie friend to read some recent autism research and see if I don't recognise something of myself. I realised that my traits, the challlenges I face daily despite my trolley full of strategies to 'appear normal', my obsession with words and my distress with some sensory stimuli all add up to at least approximately Aspergers. I also learnt that none of the assumptions I adopted from earrly research were correct.

Since then I have regularly toyed with the idea that an official diagnosis would be helpful and have tried to speak to my GP about it. The subject was incredibly difficult to raise. The response was even more difficult to process and I'm not sure I have completely processed it yet. Maybe I just haven't accepted it because it was based on the dated ideas I used to hold and I felt totally inadequate at challenging my GP about the age of their knowledge.

I still occassionaly think I should try again but there are so many hurdles to jump and they all look far too high for me to scale on my own.

If you decide it's right for you to go down the diagnosis route, I'm happy to elaborate on my experience and offer advice to help you jump your hurdles more smoothly xx. I'm also happy to engage in some info bombing fact exchanges - I guess the length of my response suggests I'm pretty good at that, too.

Take care xxx.

innocent21

Autism is a very broad topic. What specific thing would like to know more about it? As in what?

innocent21

I hope that I do not cause offence in saying that I've become pretty convinced I have Aspergers, I would like to hear more of peoples experiences so I can decide whether I would like to start the long process of seeking a diagnosis.

The symptoms of autism vary hugely from person to person. That's why it's called a spectrum. There is a collection of autism traits, and each autistic person will have some of those traits, not all of them, and each person will have different traits. Also some people's symptoms can be more subtle so people don't look or seem autistic simply from interacting with them in conversation.

Skye314

ASDIBS said:

@Skye314. Hi?. It was actually his year 6 teacher who first brought it to our attention..we didn't have a clue as he's an only child. He didn't mix well with others, said stuff to other children without thinking about their feelings and no organisational skills. He was also very bright at school too. When we looked in to it further, we realised that he met a lot of the symptoms. We always had to pick him up from parties as he didn't mix, he made very few friends, he liked to be challenged and got bored Very easily. He scraped through junior school with Sen support but the main problems began in high school. He didn't interact well, the teachers didn't know how to deal with him and he used to get really angry. He was eventually referred to CAMHS who initially didn't accept my idea that he may be autistic. However after some convincing and attending parenting courses etc, he was referred to CAMHS autistic section and was diagnosed with Aspergers. We took him out of school and placed him in a more challenging mainstream school with an entrance exam. He still experienced difficulties but the staff were a lot better. Whilst there he developed a love for music. He is in to lots of different genres. He loves metal, classical, throat singing and he loves playing instruments. He's got guitars, bass guitars, piano, accordian and probably other stuff too. His music teacher says he's a natural. He plays things by ear, never had a lesson but could listen to something and play back. I'm not really sure if he did mask it. I think people just didn't pick up on it until his behaviour become extreme. He's better now he's older. I think he had learnt to do things that others would find natural. Socially, he's not great but he's better than he was. He's been in a band but did have to leave due to health problems. He doesn't like cinemas, or overly crowded places and he's not confident going to places he's not familiar with. Sorry, waffled on and I don't think anything I've said will help ?. Take care x

Thank you so much for this it's actually incredibly helpful. It sounds like your son and I share a lot of similarities. I did well at school in the sense that I got good grades but I detested school and the way they taught the subjects. I was ahead of the class in most topics and felt patronised learning the same thing every year. By high school I had a group of friends that I got on with but managed to segregate myself from the majority of kids around me. I would often speak without thinking and if I seen something I felt was wrong, there was no choice but to say something. Musically too, those are my favourite genres and I've played many instruments over the years. I can read music but for some reason I really struggle to learn from any method other than learning by ear. I definitely get bored easy and need challenged. Some of my teachers noticed something was different but never mentioned autism. One had said I was not "a normal child" another said "the lights are off but somebody's home". The latter quote was my primary school head teacher who once called my mum in to say I was "mentally disturbed" because he'd decided to teach our class fractions and before he could explain it to us I'd handed him back the completed work with full marks. Nobody had taught me them previously and when he asked how I knew it I just said it made sense.

Skye314

Ross_Scope said:

Skye314 said:

Oh I love music too, it's the first thing I do getting into work and getting home again (and of course en-route too, so I guess it's almost all day). An eclectic taste is good too, there is so much variety. I have very varied tastes too but my favourite genres are Rock/Metal/Classical/Scottish. Do you play any instruments or sing at all?

What sort of rock and metal music do you listen to?

I used to play drums, and really enjoyed it. I keep meaning to get back into playing one day. What about you?

Some of my favourites are Guns 'n' Roses, The Doors, The Ramones, Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine, Slipknot, Korn, Iron Maiden, Avenged Sevenfold, Pantera, System of a Down
How about you?
I've never had a go of drums but I love listening to them. I actually have drums in my cupboard and I intend to have a go some day. I've played Recorder, Chanter, Oboe, Piano and Guitar over the years. I loved playing all of them but I'm terrible at sticking to something for long. I'm either playing obsessively or completely disinterested. Sadly, my hands can't deal with the obsessive playing so I never play these days.