I think I might be on the spectrum and would like opinons — Scope | Disability forum
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I think I might be on the spectrum and would like opinons

talkingbackwards
talkingbackwards Member Posts: 1 Listener
Hi, so this is probably gonna be long and kinda all over the place so I'm sorry in advance. I'm 22 and female. Over the last few months I've come to realize I might be mildly autistic?? I don't want to self-diagnose but I don't have the chance for any type of proper diagnosis with my life schedule how it currently is. Moving along, I ended up on the more neuro-divergent side of tik tok a few months ago and ended up with quite a few autistic creators on my fyp. The more that they talked about themselves and such the more I found things that I had in common with them. It intrigued me so I started looking into more symptoms of autism. I took a few of those online tests, including the RAADS-R which was recommended to me by someone whi is autistic, anyway I know you can't trust them as a diagnostic, but they all said that I was at least mildly autistic or possibly have aspergers. Some things I do that I think correspond with the possibility of me being autistic or neuro-divergent is that I tend to hyper fixate on things like tv shows, books, bands, and other media. To the point where I will consume as much media and information on this topic as possible. It'll become the sole focus of what I read about, draw, talk about and reblog on social media. I also tend to get "flappy" hands and squeal when I get overwhelmed bouts of excitement. Now that I am older I am better at containing myself but it's still pretty bad. When I was a kid/teen I would jump around as well but that doesn't happen as often now. Though I also tend to have an inability of sitting still, I like to fidget with things a lot and keep a spinner ring to give me something to focus on so I can pay attention. I also get overwhelming urges to chew on squishy things. I don't know why but its so satisfying. I'm also not the best at understand how emotional people can get about certain things. Like when my friends are upset and I try to give them logical advice they don't listen or keep getting upset about the same thing over and over again. It's frustrating cause I don't want to sound rude to them but I don't get why they act so emotionally about the same thing over and over again and it bores me. (I try not to be mean but it comes off that way when I try to help). Like I gave them an option that really would help but then they ignore it and keep getting hurt because theyre think to much with their hearts and I just don't get it. I'm really not the best at socializing and have trouble with my own emotions at times. When I was younger I had a really hard time controlling my anger because it was the most easy for me to understand so my default reaction to things was to get angry. I'm better now but I still struggle with communicating how I'm feeling in a way thats easily understandable to those around me which is why I like to be more rational. I've had the same 4 friends for like 10 years and they get my antisocial behavior but strangers don't and get upset with me. I don't really pick up on how they are feeling when they aren't forthcoming with it. Like it's not hard to just tell me?? I've also read that autistic people can be sensitive to textures and noises, things like that. I'm bad about food like even if I like the flavor of something if the texture is weird I can't eat it. Example being I like tomato sauce on pasta and pizza but I can't have tomato chunks cause if I eat one it'll make me lose my appetite and I can't eat my food anymore. Even if I pick out all the chunks. I also don't like wearing pants because they're uncomfortable for me and I don't know why its just upsetting at times. I can also get really bad overload when I am sitting with my friends and one of them is playing games on their phone or watching a video without headphones. The noise puts me in a really bad mood and puts me on edge. I'm also really bad about people touching me. To the point it can make me throw up on bad days. Only two of my friends are an exception to this rule and that's cause one let's me initiate myself and the other is just a very pleasant touch to have. Though I get uncomfortable with them touching me too more often than not. I also can get stressed out when things are moved from the place that I got used to seeing them in,, like if my friend moves a pillow on my bed that I got use to seeing in that exact spot I have to move it back and give them a different one because it'll stress me out for the rest of our hang out.. I'm also a generally loud person and tend to talk over people a lot without meaning to I just get excited about something and want to say it before I forget or the topic changes. Anyway those are some of the things that I read could possibly be signs of autism or neuro-divergence that happen to me. I wanted to get an opinion from someone who is actually autistic as to if you think I might be as well. I in no way mean to offend with this submission. Thank you! 
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Comments

  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,414

    Scope community team

    edited May 11
    Hello @talkingbackwards and a big warm welcome to our online community.  How are you doing today?

    Thanks for sharing with us your story in such detail and in no way did I find it offensive, rather it was very brave of you to open up to us.  I can understand why you feel you might be on the autistic spectrum and wondered what you thought about visiting your GP to discuss this more?  Here the official NHS advice around 'How to get diagnosed'.  Although I can see your life schedule has previously made exploring a diagnosis tricky, it may be something to consider for in the future.

    Also, if you wanted to speak with someone specialised in this area, the National Autistic Society Helpline is available on 0808 800 4104 between 10am-3pm Monday to Friday.  Unfortunately, this service is closing on May 19 2021 so best to contact them quickly if you wish.

    I'm sure some of our other autistic members will be able to share their experiences with you.  And, in the meantime feel free to browse our Autism and Aspergers category and reply to any threads you think might help :)

    Take care and I hope you have a nice Tuesday.  
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  • rubin16
    rubin16 Member Posts: 160 Pioneering
    Hey,

    From the sounds of it to me you do show some autistic traits, I have autism myself and some of the things you descibe I can relate to in some way. But the only way to know for sure is do get a proper diagnosis as you'll always be wondering if you are or not and can get alot of support if you are diagnosed. So if you do manage to find the time its worth trying to speak to your GP for a referral.

    On another note waiting times to have an assessment are extremely long at the moment, you could be waiting months for an assessment so if you decide you want one it won't happen straight away and can prepare and work round it when its your turn.

    Hope this helps.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,145

    Scope community team

    edited May 14
    Welcome to the community @talkingbackwards :) 

    Have you been able to take a look at the above replies? We look forward to hearing from you. 
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

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  • Caz_Alumni
    Caz_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 624 Pioneering
    Hello @talkingbackards :)

    Just wanted to stop by, say hi, and welcome you to the community! How are you doing today? Hope you're having a nice weekend?

    It's great to meet you and thanks for telling us a bit more about yourself. I know you're looking to connect with some of our autistic members. So, hopefully, it won't be too long before others spot your post and offer their thoughts on some of the experiences that you've described. 

    In the meantime, if there's anything else that you would like to ask, or if you need any help with anything on the community, then please do let us know. We're always happy to help. :)

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  • Criley
    Criley Member Posts: 1 Listener
    Hi.  I have been lurking a while and now decided to sign up partly becasue I wanted to respond to your post.  Many of the things you talk about are familiar to me but I am curious why you want a formal diagnosis.  I'm 65 and have been pretty symptomatic all my life and did go through a brief phase of wanting an explanation but seeing as there is no 'cure' and it's not life threatening, I lost interest.  I eventually concluded that my condition is a blessing as well as a curse and now it's just a part of me which I have to live with and to keep a continual eye on so I don't do anything weird.  Yeah and pants are just uncomfortable.  It's a fact.
  • 3PARKWAY3
    3PARKWAY3 Member Posts: 35 Connected
    I have just joined, as I am a 55 man with autism. I could very much understand Crileys post, as I am in my 60th decade and after my fathers recent passing, have wanted to understand what made me tick.  I have asked my GP to give me a 'Referal'. This is based in York, and it may take up to a year to get an assessment. The waiting times are very long, and I can totally understand that we need to get on with our lives in the meantime ! I agree that if you can recognise you are on the spectrum then it actually becomes easier for you to cope, as you recognise this is just a symtom of your condition, and can move on. Thats how I am coping at the moment. I also have beta-blockers to help calm me down if I become overwhelmed or have to go out of the house for some reason. 
  • 3PARKWAY3
    3PARKWAY3 Member Posts: 35 Connected
    I agree with everything you mentione, especially about noises and sounds. I also get irritable with certain sounds and have to go out of the room to be by myself. If you didn't know me I could see other people making out I was odd.  The way I know deal with it is actually using headphones myself. I like to listen to white noise or the sea crashing on the stones...it totally relaxes me aswell ! good luck !

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