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I think I might be on the spectrum and would like opinons
Hi, so this is probably gonna be long and kinda all over the place so I'm sorry in advance. I'm 22 and female. Over the last few months I've come to realize I might be mildly autistic?? I don't want to self-diagnose but I don't have the chance for any type of proper diagnosis with my life schedule how it currently is. Moving along, I ended up on the more neuro-divergent side of tik tok a few months ago and ended up with quite a few autistic creators on my fyp. The more that they talked about themselves and such the more I found things that I had in common with them. It intrigued me so I started looking into more symptoms of autism. I took a few of those online tests, including the RAADS-R which was recommended to me by someone whi is autistic, anyway I know you can't trust them as a diagnostic, but they all said that I was at least mildly autistic or possibly have aspergers. Some things I do that I think correspond with the possibility of me being autistic or neuro-divergent is that I tend to hyper fixate on things like tv shows, books, bands, and other media. To the point where I will consume as much media and information on this topic as possible. It'll become the sole focus of what I read about, draw, talk about and reblog on social media. I also tend to get "flappy" hands and squeal when I get overwhelmed bouts of excitement. Now that I am older I am better at containing myself but it's still pretty bad. When I was a kid/teen I would jump around as well but that doesn't happen as often now. Though I also tend to have an inability of sitting still, I like to fidget with things a lot and keep a spinner ring to give me something to focus on so I can pay attention. I also get overwhelming urges to chew on squishy things. I don't know why but its so satisfying. I'm also not the best at understand how emotional people can get about certain things. Like when my friends are upset and I try to give them logical advice they don't listen or keep getting upset about the same thing over and over again. It's frustrating cause I don't want to sound rude to them but I don't get why they act so emotionally about the same thing over and over again and it bores me. (I try not to be mean but it comes off that way when I try to help). Like I gave them an option that really would help but then they ignore it and keep getting hurt because theyre think to much with their hearts and I just don't get it. I'm really not the best at socializing and have trouble with my own emotions at times. When I was younger I had a really hard time controlling my anger because it was the most easy for me to understand so my default reaction to things was to get angry. I'm better now but I still struggle with communicating how I'm feeling in a way thats easily understandable to those around me which is why I like to be more rational. I've had the same 4 friends for like 10 years and they get my antisocial behavior but strangers don't and get upset with me. I don't really pick up on how they are feeling when they aren't forthcoming with it. Like it's not hard to just tell me?? I've also read that autistic people can be sensitive to textures and noises, things like that. I'm bad about food like even if I like the flavor of something if the texture is weird I can't eat it. Example being I like tomato sauce on pasta and pizza but I can't have tomato chunks cause if I eat one it'll make me lose my appetite and I can't eat my food anymore. Even if I pick out all the chunks. I also don't like wearing pants because they're uncomfortable for me and I don't know why its just upsetting at times. I can also get really bad overload when I am sitting with my friends and one of them is playing games on their phone or watching a video without headphones. The noise puts me in a really bad mood and puts me on edge. I'm also really bad about people touching me. To the point it can make me throw up on bad days. Only two of my friends are an exception to this rule and that's cause one let's me initiate myself and the other is just a very pleasant touch to have. Though I get uncomfortable with them touching me too more often than not. I also can get stressed out when things are moved from the place that I got used to seeing them in,, like if my friend moves a pillow on my bed that I got use to seeing in that exact spot I have to move it back and give them a different one because it'll stress me out for the rest of our hang out.. I'm also a generally loud person and tend to talk over people a lot without meaning to I just get excited about something and want to say it before I forget or the topic changes. Anyway those are some of the things that I read could possibly be signs of autism or neuro-divergence that happen to me. I wanted to get an opinion from someone who is actually autistic as to if you think I might be as well. I in no way mean to offend with this submission. Thank you!
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