My daughter has become increasingly aggressive in her behaviour

Kirstie74

My 9 year old daughter, has asd, adhd, epilepsy and a learning difficulty,  has become increasingly aggressive in her nature and behaviour.
It has now got to the point where we can't  go out on family trips or just to the shops as she becomes very aggressive,  shouts, swears and wants her own way. There is just no reasoning with her, she wants everything and everyone to dance to her tune, despite many attempts to calm her and discuss the matter nothing is working. She is spending most of her time in her room but shouts at me if I make a noise,  can't  even laugh without being yelled at. She has become a terrible bully towards myself and others close to her. 
This behaviour isn't  just at home it happens at school, relatives whilst out, anywhere.
She is mean and spiteful and the torrent of obscene, hateful, hurtful words she says to myself and others is very upsetting. She laughs in your face when you tell her its not nice and why, she has on occasion thrown things at me and regularly  breaks something of mine to hurt me.
I'm  not in a great place mentally as you can imagine and would appreciate  any advice you may have.
I have contacted her paediatrician  and I'm  waiting for a reply.

Thank you

Ross_Alumni

Hi @Kirstie74

I'm sorry to read about what you're going through but I appreciate you telling us, that's a very brave thing to do. 

How long has your daughter been behaving this way? Is it a recent development? And di you notice a trigger event that may have started it or has it come out of the blue somewhat?

It must be hard to experience when I imagine you're doing all that you can to support your daughter and accommodate her needs. Do you have the support of a partner or family friend at this time?  You can read useful information here from Mind about how to support yourself as a parent and you might be interested in Scope's Parents Connect sessions as a way of getting peer support. DO you receive any support for your mental health from your GP?

You could also consider NAS as somewhere to contact.

Does your daughter have any hobbies or interests that help her to relax and engage in a more friendly way? I hope you hear back from the paediatrician soon, you've done the right thing in consulting the relevant health professional. It might also be a good idea to look for local support from any organisations in your area, we would be happy to help with this if you wanted.

Lastly, could I ask if you have any other children? If so, does your daughter take out her frustrations on them at all?

Tori_Scope

Hi @Kirstie74 I just wanted to check in to see how you've been doing? Have you had a chance to think about what Ross has posted above?