Helping a sibling who's dealing with anger, regret, and frustration — Scope | Disability forum
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Helping a sibling who's dealing with anger, regret, and frustration

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c_c_c
c_c_c Community member Posts: 4 Listener
edited June 2021 in Cerebral palsy
Hello.
i hope this finds everyone well at this challenging time. I am new to this forum & asking if any good resources for people with CP dealing with anger, regret and frustration in their mid life (40s). My sibling is really struggling and, living with our parents, directing anger at people closest to them. They have been stuck in a loop for over 20 years and it’s getting harder as their parents get unwell with age. They don’t accept the need for any mental health support. Any advice welcome & appreciated. Thanks.
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  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
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    It’s actually a problem we experienced as a family eighteen months ago. One of my sons has cerebral palsy but manages to do a job and in his early thirties became very frustrated with life and took it out on us. Things became impossible and we had to ask him to leave. Eventually he did and he looks after himself reasonably well now. We have downsized since then so there no going back, 

    it may be that @Richard_Scope could help though so he will see this tag and should reply.

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
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  • c_c_c
    c_c_c Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    With thanks for sharing your experiences @leeCal - I am sure that was a difficult time for you all.
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,759 Disability Gamechanger
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    I must admit one of the reasons we downsized was to stop any possibility of the kids ever wanting to come home after they had left.
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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi and welcome to the community from me too 

    Must be difficult for all of them maybe a chat with the 9atenrs about getting him more independent in prep for when they can't care for him 
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  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,660 Scope online community team
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    Hi @c_c_c
    Thanks for posting and welcome.
    I'm sorry to read that your family are going through this situation. I can recommend cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), I have completed a course of the therapy and found it very beneficial. I can also suggest contacting Liz Whiteley Counselling and Psychotherapy. Liz lives with CP too and this gives her a great insight in to the issues we face with the condition. Of course the success of any of these options is dependant on your sibling wanting to engage with the process.
    I would also be very happy to have a chat with your sibling.
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

    'Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.' 

    Want to tell us about your experience in the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
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  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Community member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,396 Pioneering
    edited June 2021
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    Hi @c_c_c, 
                     Welcome to the community and thank you for joining us. I'm sorry to read of the difficulties your family is facing, it's not easy for anyone involved. I can see that you have already had some good advice, I would also recommend some form of professional emotional support, though I appreciate with something like this, it has to be the person who decides this is right for them. I know when I reached out for help, it was when I was ready despite encouragement for a couple of years. Please, if I may, can I ask, is your sibling part of any community groups where others can relate to their experiences? An example could be the online community here on Scope. There is also a café for over 25's which Scope runs with CP Sport, it's virtual and happens fortnightly. Please if you have any questions do ask, we are a friendly and supportive community. Thank you 
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  • c_c_c
    c_c_c Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    With thanks all for your helpful posts and care - I will check out the support forums and specialists - and encourage her to do the same. Wishing all a good weekend when it arrives, With thanks
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  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Community member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,396 Pioneering
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    Hi  @c_c_c, 
                       How are you? How are things with your sibling? Please do let us know if there is anything further we can support with. Thank you. 
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  • c_c_c
    c_c_c Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    With thanks all for your helpful comments and kind thoughts. It’s pretty tough at the moment & I think we will all need some emotional and practical support. I will check out the link you’ve given and also the Scope forums - appreciated.
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,496 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm sorry to hear things are tough at the moment @c_c_c, but I'm glad to hear you'll be checking out the links. Is there anything else we could do to help? 
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  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,660 Scope online community team
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    Hi @c_c_c
    Would your sibling be open to having a chat with me at all?
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

    'Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.' 

    Want to tell us about your experience in the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
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