feeling guilty for not working more

Bevharty51

Hi all
Im really beating myself up lately , my boss is so sweet and asks me to do extra time , at present im only doing two evening shifts , i work my butt off as bst i can on those shifts and probably to others look very well and capable . im on esa supported and have been for a while , covid , lockdown has pulled me back as im sure it has many others but im getting out there again as best i can now. i still have effects from cancer treatment years ago which limit me so i pace myself . i dont need to explain myself to others i know but i push myself so much and im near to colapsing when working sometimes , having tests again so anxiety over that as fear cancers return of course , anyone else beat themselves up at times .?so much stress its unreal at times plus mental health suffers   

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community 

You are not alone in your feelings many people feel guilty about not being able to work more 

I hope the tests go well and there are no serious issues 

We are always here to help you when we can and offer support 

Tori_Scope

Hi @Bevharty51  

I'm sorry to hear that work is proving to be so physically and mentally taxing at the moment. Have you spoken to your boss about this, or another employee such as someone who works in HR?

I'm sure it must be very difficult knowing you've got more tests coming up, as the fear can linger for a long time. Have you spoken to anyone about the mental health difficulties you've been facing, or the anxiety you feel around your cancer returning? 

Macmillan have plenty of useful information about life after treatment, and I'd encourage you to get in touch with them if you want to talk things through with people who can really understand what you're going through. 

Bevharty51

Hi thank you for replies. im still working out how to use this forum so i hope im doing right .
i have thought of ringing Mac millan as they are usually very good. I fell in limbo atm for many reasons . My boss has just msg me asking me to work today (very short notice , but always worth asking ) i enjoy the job and dont want to lose it so find it hard to say no and i always end up feeling guilty, i have told him and the company my situation. I feel a light weight at times