Anxiety at its peak

Naughtynan

Hello
Haven't posted on here for some time. 
I thought I was coping okay during the pandemic then I had terrible news of my aunt and brother passing away. She died last August but I was only told of it in end of January, then my older brother passed away end of February this year from dementia and not being able to eat or move??.
I saw myself going downhill and now my anxiety is so bad. I'm on a second medication as first one mertazepine wasnt suitable, now I'm on citalopram. Been on it now for two weeks and the side effects are awful, told the doctor today but need to persist with it as it takes weeks to be fully effective. My doctor has also referred me to Ear, nose throat specialist as I have developed a terrible case of tinnitus which makes me more stressed. 
I feel so anxious going out, I feel terrible staying in.
I am in a living nightmare. I do have mental health service 24/7 phone line and have called them a few times as I was so stressed, thought dying would be such a relief but I just want to get better.

Ross_Alumni

Hello naughtynan

 

Welcome back to the online community, it’s great to see you posting for the first time in a while, although I’m sorry to read of the situation you’re in at the moment. 

I’m very sorry to hear of the passing of your aunt and brother, that must be very tough to cope with. Have you received any support following their deaths? It must have had a huge impact on your well-being, and something such as grief counselling might help you recover from the incidents. Do speak with the health professionals in your life if you ever feel as though you need support in that regard.

 

It's a shame to hear that the new anxiety medication is causing you to feel bad, but hopefully it does come good soon as your GP seems to think, fingers crossed the side effects don’t persist. Do ensure you go back to your GP and speak with them further if you feel as though your mental health is getting any worse or if you are struggling to cope. You can also contact Samaritans on 116 123, and access coping techniques here from Mind.

 

You mentioned in your post that at one point you thought dying would be a relief, have those feelings been present at all lately? Is that something you’ve felt often? I am glad to see that you appear determined to get better, and I’m sure you will be able to do that. It’s important to access any support that you have in place if you need it, such as the 24/7 phone line you referred to, or the Crisis team, community MH support team or family / friends.

 

Take care

woodbine

@Naughtynan i'm truly sorry to hear about your losses, I found that  citalopram helped me but it took a few weeks to kick in.

leeCal

Hi @Naughtynan, I too am sorry for your losses.
Re tinnitus,  try to remember that tinnitus is just a sound, or rather the perception of sound.  Believe it or not I have awful tinnitus as a side effect from meds and stress and I’ve got used to it. At first I thought it would drive me potty and I felt very desperate but little by little I managed to tolerate it. Now it’s four or five years on (I’ve forgotten exactly) and I barely notice it. The brain ignores the sound eventually to a high degree. 
Best wishes and I hope your anxiety levels drop substantially very soon.

Naughtynan

Thank you for your replies. Still very anxious, still suffering from medication side effects and tinnitus. I feel hopeless today but still try to put one foot in front of the other. 

Naughtynan

Forgot to add, I have had grief counselling about 5 years ago when my mum passed away but not this time, I'm on their waiting list. The only help I've had has been a few zoom sessions with the recovery college who provide information/education about depression in group format. I need one to one therapy. 

Ross_Alumni

Thanks for the update @Naughtynan

Good to hear you've had grief counselling in the past, and I hope you swiftly move up the waiting list this time.

Have the sessions with the recovery college been helpful for you? I appreciate that is your preference and I hope you are able to receive that soon. 

atlas47

Hi @Naughtynan

Sorry to learn of your two recent sad losses.

I am a suffer of tinnitus and have every sympathy for you.

Pleas of a look at this link to British Tinnitus Association.

https://www.tinnitus.org.uk/all-about-tinnitus?gclid=cjwkcajwjjmibha4eiwaqdcbxnadypyf0lva1topd5tufu_irxerdhn3okdre596g0eyexwjkhp6srocmeiqavd_bwe

They also have a freephone helpline tel: 0800 018 0527, in particular if they have a local support group near you, which I am sure would be beneficial for you.

Mind info line tel: 0300 123 3393.

I would also suggest you contact Mind, to once again see if they have a local support group.  There is help out there, it’s a matter of searching for it.

Let us know how you get on.

Best wishes

Naughtynan

Ross_Scope said:

Thanks for the update @Naughtynan

Good to hear you've had grief counselling in the past, and I hope you swiftly move up the waiting list this time.

Have the sessions with the recovery college been helpful for you? I appreciate that is your preference and I hope you are able to receive that soon. 

Hi Ross, thank you for your reply. The recovery college sessions gave me something to look forward to which was very important when I was very low. The lady who ran it stayed on a had a chat with me a few occasions as I was clearly upset during sessions.
However I hope I get one to one counselling soon to unpack my issues and somehow get to move on with my life as best as I can. ?

Naughtynan

atlas47 said:

Hi @Naughtynan

Sorry to learn of your two recent sad losses.

I am a suffer of tinnitus and have every sympathy for you.

Pleas of a look at this link to British Tinnitus Association.

https://www.tinnitus.org.uk/all-about-tinnitus?gclid=cjwkcajwjjmibha4eiwaqdcbxnadypyf0lva1topd5tufu_irxerdhn3okdre596g0eyexwjkhp6srocmeiqavd_bwe

They also have a freephone helpline tel: 0800 018 0527, in particular if they have a local support group near you, which I am sure would be beneficial for you.

Mind info line tel: 0300 123 3393.

I would also suggest you contact Mind, to once again see if they have a local support group.  There is help out there, it’s a matter of searching for it.

Let us know how you get on.

Best wishes

Hi ?
Thank you Atlas47, lots of valuable information there. I am going to contact the tinnitus helpline, I'm really interested if there's a group for it near me.
I'm determined to get better with my depression and anxiety and I'm glad I posted on here, thank you. ??

Tori_Scope

Hi @Naughtynan I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing since you posted this. How have things been?

Did you manage to contact the tinnitus helpline? 

Naughtynan

Hello Tori_scope
My tinnitus still loud, sometimes when I wake up it's quiet for a few moments and then it starts heart sinks, dread the day ahead. I called the tinnitus helpline, spoke to a lovely lady who was very supportive. I just have to try bear this until I get the ENT appointment. ? I am now three weeks on antidepressants and I'd say I'm about %10 better on it but not completely. I still feel very anxious and sudden moments I think I can't bear it at all. The lady on the phone saidaybecits, my ear wax as I mentioned my doctor did say he saw some wax in my ears. Also around October last year I woke up during the night and I was so sick and dizzy I thought I was having a stroke
Ambulance was called and he said it looks ike it's my ears. Maybe it's just build up of ear wax? Years ago when I was younger I had pneumonia and my gp syringed my ears clean, wonder why gp surgery didn't offer this.

Sandy_123

Hi @Naughtynan hopefully your ENT appointment won't be long and I'm glad that the Citalopram is now starting to take effect. Sorry to read about your brother passing away and your aunt.

Naughtynan

Sandy_123 said:

Hi @Naughtynan hopefully your ENT appointment won't be long and I'm glad that the Citalopram is now starting to take effect. Sorry to read about your brother passing away and your aunt.

Thank you Sandy??

atlas47

Hi @Naughtynan

Just a couple of thoughts about your pending appointment with ENT.

You could request a balance check, this is a non invasive test, that takes a couple of minutes. The inner ear is the main host of your balance mechanism. The Consultant would be likely to do this test without prompting, but forewarned and all that.

Ask for the levels of earwax, in both ears and if the Consultant considers you would benefit from having your ears syringed. This would be done at your GP surgery.

Lastly but not least, you could request an hearing test, again your Consultant wii no doubt order the test as a matter of course.

Again this is a non invasive test, where you sit in a soundproof both and press buttons, in response to what you hear. This will be a helpful marker, if there is a need for future tests.

What I found helpful, when I first started having tinnitus, was to have background music on the go, all the time.  Don’t worry too much, as often than not it is usually a short term issue and becomes more intermittent.

Hope this helps.

Do keep us informed on how you get on.

Tori_Scope

Well it sounds as though things are moving forwards a little at least @Naughtynan, which is good to hear. 

Anti-depressants can take a while to work, and you can sometimes feel a little worse before you feel better, so make sure that you're keeping in touch with your doctor and checking-in with yourself to see how you're feeling. 

I'm really glad you found the tinnitus helpline supportive!