Hi, my name is louisecaw!

louisecaw
louisecaw Online Community Member Posts: 1 Listener
in Start here and say hello!
My boyfriend of 17 months is a cross dresser and recently told me he wants to be a woman but won’t do anything about it as he doesn’t want to lose me I’m so confused any advice?

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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,459 Championing
    edited August 2021
    Hi @louisecaw :) Welcome to the community!

    I can imagine this could feel a little confusing, and perhaps overwhelming. Has your partner come out as trans? Are you familiar with what it means to be transgender? 

    I think it's important that you talk to your partner about this, if both you and they feel comfortable and ready to do so. It can be a difficult thing to talk about, but it's a good sign that they felt safe in disclosing this to you. Your partner may be experiencing a lot of their own confusing thoughts and feelings at the moment, so it would be good to talk everything through and find out more about where you're both at. There's no singular universal experience of being trans, so opening up the conversation should help you to understand what they're feeling right now, and what their plans are for the future.

    It sounds as though they're worried that you'd break up with them if they were to transition, so I'd encourage you to discuss this with them too. Neither of you have to decide anything right now but, again, opening up that ongoing conversation is really important. 

    Have you thought about how you might be able to bring the topic up with them again? Did they seem willing to talk about it further right now, or did you get the impression they weren't ready to talk to you much about it yet?

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