Teenager with CP depressed

lizzya

My son is 18 and gets so down about his disability. He feels so frustrated by the things that are harder or impossible to do and he becomes completely demotivated. He’s wanted to go away to university in the past but there are so many things he either needs to learn to do or get help with if he wants to live more independently but he doesn’t really seem able to engage with this and resents having to try. If I try to encourage him we fall out with each other. Don’t really no where to turn for help, any ideas?

Sandy_123

Hi @lizzya welcome to the forum i have a link below that you might a useful read.
https://www.roydswithyking.com/university-life-with-cerebral-palsy-the-challenges-of-higher-education-with-a-disability/

Tori_Scope

Hi @lizzya Welcome to the community!

I'm sure that this must be a difficult situation for you both. I'm going to tag @Richard_Scope in here, who's the Specialist Information Officer for cerebral palsy here at Scope, as I'm sure he'll have some advice for you on his return from annual leave. 

Have you ever heard of CP Teens UK? They're a charity for young people with CP in the UK, and run a number of events and campaigns. Perhaps this is something your son could get involved in, as chatting to other young people with CP may help him feel more understood and share tips and experiences? 

You've mentioned that he feels depressed and frustrated. I was just wondering whether he's been able to access any support for his mental health? I know this may be a difficult topic to bring up, especially if he's a bit resistant, but it could be worth him chatting things through with someone more neutral who can help him come up with some coping strategies and so on. 

lizzya

He has tapped into counselling in the past when he’s been at his lowest and I could suggest doing so again when he returns to college ( he used the campus service) he’s not over keen on talking to people he doesn’t know well. I wondered how other people have got themselves ready to live more independently - we haven’t used social services for ages and could ask for them to get involved somehow maybe some sort of assessment. I know I need to raise it with my son but worry about his reaction. When’s a good time, you know what I mean? 

Richard_Scope

Hi @lizzya
I live with quad CP and I can remember very clearly the issues that my impairment and being a young adult presented and how I felt at the time.
It is a difficult situation for you all, as I guess you feel like you're walking on eggshells around the subject with your son. If you would like me to talk with your son I am very happy to do so. Also, there is Lapis, an organisation that provides specialized counselling for disabled people.
Please feel free to email me richard.luke@scope.org.uk, should you want to discuss things in more depth. 

lizzya

Thanks I will mention your offer to talk to my son and I’m going to contact Lapis who is never heard of before. That’s really helpful

Lizzy