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Those of you with vulnerable children, how do you cope knowing the challenges?

CoffeeFirst

Myself included as my adult daughter has ADHD, possibly on the Autistic Spectrum, how do you keep going?

Thank you for sharing.

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Comments

Ross_Alumni

Hi @CoffeeFirst

Thanks for posting, I do not have a child but I hope others will be able to offer their insight

CoffeeFirst

Hi Ross, I’m not sure I worded the question that way, and it’s changed the meaning of what I was trying to ask. Please can you delete the question. Thank you.

euro

Hi @CoffeeFirst

Your user name was one of my coping strategies together with heaps of hope and reminding myself repeatedly that love is a verb.

I quite literally switched off for 10 to 15 minutes every 3 or 4 hours and took myself and a cup of coffee into the garden or my bedroom. I told them I was having a coffee break and after that, didn't respond to questions, demands or tantrums until I'd finished my coffee. It was really hard at first. My eldest is autistic and the youngest has ADHD as well. They were 4 and 6 when I started doing it (both in their early 30's now) and I was really afraid of the damage they might do to themselves, each other and the house whilst I 'ignored' them. It didn't take long - maybe 2 weeks - for them to accept I was 'unavailable' and leave me to my coffee in peace without turning the house upside-down.

It gave me a little space to recharge and destress and find the energy to keep up with them for the next few hours. The challenges still came thick and fast but I was more patient, tolerant and calmer than I was before, knowing I could take a break soon and they would manage without me for a short while.

Tori_Scope

Hi @CoffeeFirst

Ross isn't in today, so I just wanted to pick this up. Is it the question in Ross' comment that you don't feel reflects the question you were asking?

CoffeeFirst

Hi Tori,
I’ve just logged on and seen your message.

The question I was asking was ‘How do you cope knowing your child will always be vulnerable?’. It’s a new situation I have found myself in and was looking for how others deal with this. It was more from the emotional and acceptance level and not looking at offering tips.

When I read the question it just sounded different to the one I was trying to get out.
It’s not a problem I just didn’t feel it was my question if this makes sense.
Thanks for picking this up,
CF

CoffeeFirst

euro said:

Hi @CoffeeFirst

Your user name was one of my coping strategies together with heaps of hope and reminding myself repeatedly that love is a verb.

I quite literally switched off for 10 to 15 minutes every 3 or 4 hours and took myself and a cup of coffee into the garden or my bedroom. I told them I was having a coffee break and after that, didn't respond to questions, demands or tantrums until I'd finished my coffee. It was really hard at first. My eldest is autistic and the youngest has ADHD as well. They were 4 and 6 when I started doing it (both in their early 30's now) and I was really afraid of the damage they might do to themselves, each other and the house whilst I 'ignored' them. It didn't take long - maybe 2 weeks - for them to accept I was 'unavailable' and leave me to my coffee in peace without turning the house upside-down.

It gave me a little space to recharge and destress and find the energy to keep up with them for the next few hours. The challenges still came thick and fast but I was more patient, tolerant and calmer than I was before, knowing I could take a break soon and they would manage without me for a short while.

Agreed…Coffee is certainly a life saver!

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