Am I being delusional

Grinchsmile

Boyfriend and I are both young, autistic and are both littles. It's age regression for those who don't know. He is also a caregiver to a little in a discord server who he's known for longer, which I didn't know about until I saw messages they'd sent . We are both in the same discord server and because of that I can see the messages they've sent in it. I can't see private dm's obviously or know if they're in other servers together as I don't have access to either accounts.

I'm not quite sure how to put it, I'm not sure if it's innocent or if somethings going on but from the messages I get the feeling that they have a better relationship than we do. He is better to her (he isn't mean to me at all, and not at all abusive). I thought it was cute but at the same time, as his girlfriend it makes me feel quite hurt. To be fair he's told her he just loves her as a friend but I'm not convinced that's true when they use the same sort of language as each other and the same gifs, and one gif that crossed the line was a cartoon of them in bed together snuggling sent by her, the same gif he sends to me! It makes me wonder what their dm's are like, but I don't really want to see because I already feel sick to my stomach.

I've been cheated on in the past, and I quite suspicious over small things a lot but I'm not sure it's justified. It's actually quite sickening for me, and because I'm not myself it makes him uncomfortable. He noticed I was feeling off so I've told him I think he's cheating on me because of the PTSD of my previous relationships. He's anxious now because I'm not myself. If someone's guilty they're not going to admit to it so instead of talking to him further I need someone else's perspective.
 
I'm closing myself off and that'll just push him away so I'm worried that'll be the end of it especially if he's not actually done anything . Should I just ghost?

chiarieds

Hi @Grinchsmile - & welcome to the community. I don't know for sure, but I would feel that it would be better to talk to your boyfriend rather than not. Whatever his feelings are for the other person he's known longer, he's with you. I think it's always better to talk to resolve any issues.

@woodbine - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discord_(software).... a platform to chat, text, share files, etc., I think.

Tori_Scope

Hi @Grinchsmile I can imagine it was upsetting to see these messages. 

If someone's guilty they're not going to admit to it so instead of talking to him further I need someone else's perspective.

I do think that the best course of action would be to speak to him about this. You could just be honest with him, and explain that you're not clear on what their relationship is like and that you're feeling a little bit as though he's crossed a boundary. It could be a good opportunity to discuss what your boundaries are in terms of speaking to other people, and the kinds of relationships you're happy with each other having outside of your own relationship. Does that make sense? It's your choice of course, but trying to open up a safe, open, and honest conversation is often a good place to start.

A 'little' is someone who enjoys getting into a headspace of someone who's younger than they actually are, often in romantic or sexual relationships @bekindalways. I hope that's a fair brief summary @Grinchsmile? 

P.S. I've moved your post into our dating and relationships category. 

Tori_Scope

Not at all @bekindalways, I guessed from your comment that you didn't realise that's what they were referring to, so just thought I'd briefly explain  

Tori_Scope

Sort of, yeah @bekindalways. It's not something I'm personally into, so my insight is somewhat limited. This Wattpad entry might help you to understand it a little further (reader discretion advised due to sexually explicit content). The most important thing is that a healthy dynamic exists between two fully consenting adults.

If you have any questions about pronouns, please also feel free to ask  

Cher_Alumni

Hi @bekindalways

Tori is off for the next couple of days but I didn't want to leave you hanging in the meantime   I really appreciate your honesty around not being sure about pronoun use and asking questions opens up avenues for discussion and learning.  

Rather than try and explain in perhaps my own clumsy way, I found this 'Pronouns: An introductory resource' helpful in better understanding the concept of pronouns myself and helping my sister get her head around it too.

Wishing you well with your surgery on Friday, take care.