Feeling like no one believes my pain

Marie88

I'm feeling really down and depressed again.  I'm working part time at the moment after being on furlough for over a year.  The job isn't physical and I can sit and stand but I still worry about the future as I'm only earning half of what I was and I'm not guaranteed hours after October.  I hate having an invisible condition, it makes me feel isolated and alone.  On the outside I look well and I don't feel able to talk about my pain because I fear people won't believe me. 

Living in pain is also causing me a lot of anxiety, especially being around people and in social situations. I feel different and like I can't connect or relate to the people I know, I don't enjoy spending time with people and prefer to be alone, but it makes me feel really isolated.  I don't have friends anymore, I stopped replying to their messages a long time ago.  I used to get so down being around after I could no longer do the things they could and they didn't get it.  I used to be an active person but I can't do those things anymore and it makes me feel pretty worthless.  I have a really supportive partner but he's not here all the time because of work. We are saving up for me to see a private doctor as my GP hasn't been helpful and I feel they don't listen or take me seriously.

My pain is affecting my family relationships.  I recently got into an argument with a family member about finding another job with more hours and them saying about how I am young and should be working full time and that surely any job is worth it if I want the money.  They just don't understand and I feel like they don't take me seriously.  I don't feel able to talk about my pain properly and don't think they will really believe me. I don't blame them for not understanding but I feel like I should move away somewhere as it causes me a lot of stress feeling like I'm letting everyone down all the time.  My sister is three years younger than me and has a great career and I feel I'm always being compared to her and that really gets me down.  I don't feel close to them because of my pain, I keep wishing I could go back in time and be happy and close to them like I used to be. I feel so trapped at the moment and don't really know what to do.

Sandy_123

Hi @Marie88 have you spoke to your gp or attended a pain management clinic. Do you know why you are in so much pain? You could ask for further tests at your gp to find out why, or a medication review to get right pain relief. 
It might also be that other people may not understand how you are feeling or the disadvantages that you may have and if you can explain to them it may help.

Adrian_Scope

Hi @Marie88. I know how frustrating it can be when those around us don't fully appreciate what's going on in our lives.
You mentioned saving up to see a private doctor, but is there any option of changing GPs now, or as Sandy said, asking for more tests, rather than having to wait?

Also if work is a bit of a concern for you, you're welcome to contact one of our employment services and see if there's anything they can do to help you find more reliable employment.

It also sounds like you're struggling a little bit with your mental health, feeling trapped and disconnected from family. Have you spoken to your about this to see if they might be able to offer you any support here?