Suicide — Scope | Disability forum
If we become concerned about you or anyone else while using one of our services, we will act in line with our safeguarding policy and procedures. This may involve sharing this information with relevant authorities to ensure we comply with our policies and legal obligations.

Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.
Please read our updated community house rules and community guidelines.

Suicide

spacetravel225
spacetravel225 Community member Posts: 1 Listener
Everyday Suicide looks more appealing. Working everyday until retirement in 2060, as a lifelong lonely person seems useless. I’ve tried all I can but my work and uni work is piling up and I have no girlfriend nor anyone to talk it through. Growing up I was brought up with the idea of reincarnation and even though I’m agnostic it gives encouragement knowing I can delegate it to the next life. I don’t hate myself but I don’t fit in anywhere at work nor anywhere else no matter how hard I try and with a debt amassing to £50k, which is cleared on death and mounting work coupled with a lifetime of loneliness, there is not much point. The only things that are keeping me from doing it are my special interests and my dog but everyday it looks more likely. The stuff that I’ve mentioned sounds trivial but my own fixation of it is something I cannot get rid of it and is ruining my chances at getting a girlfriend, friends or any other form of happiness. 

Comments

  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    edited September 2021
    It’s good that you posted here tonight, it’s a good thing to talk to others about your troubles, have you talked to the Samaritans about your thoughts?
    I remember a quote when I feel overwhelmed ‘That built in the mind becomes reality’. Isn it possible that you are catastrophising? Often all the problems seem to pile up at once and seem impossible to overcome but being an academic I’d assume that you have heard of chunking and breaking down tasks into bite sized bits?  These problems you mention are solvable one at a time, not all together and perhaps not quickly but eminently solvable nonetheless.

    For example the debt you mention presumably doesn’t need to be repaid all in one go, it only needs repaying when you earn over a certain limit which I’m sure you know. 

    A working life, though seemingly long, can also be very rewarding on so many levels. When I was young I too worried about such a long period of employment but actually it became just a part of life not all of my life, and time flies I’m afraid, I wish I had another fifty years. 

    I also never thought id meet anyone to start a family with, it just seemed impossible but it happened, and it happens to millions of others too. One day such a thing will happen to you I’m sure. 

    Please try talking to the Samaritans and change your ideation. Others will post soon too I’ve no doubt.

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 46,788 Disability Gamechanger
    edited September 2021
    Hi @spacetravel225 welcome to the forum where there is lots of people to talk to and banter with.
    https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide/
    Lots of help lines above for you to consider.
    Do you have someone at uni you can talk to about the stress you are feeling with your studies.a link below
    https://www.ucas.com/undergraduate/student-life/getting-undergraduate-student-support
     Have you spoke to your gp about how you are feeling they may offer support to you.
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @spacetravel225 and a warm welcome to our community.  It's lovely to meet you but I'm sorry to hear it's at a time you're struggling with such worries and troubling thoughts.  That must be difficult to manage and sharing with us how you're feeling inside is a positive step, so thank you for letting us help.

    It sounds like you have lots of stressors playing on your mind such as work, university life and debt, that are understandably distressing.  Have you spoken with your GP/other health-care practitioner about these and the impact they're having on your mood?  Also, do you have any family or close ones you can speak with?  I understand you consider yourself a lonely person (your dog sounds fab btw  <3 ) but sharing just some of what's going on 'beneath the surface' can bring about such a relief.

    I'd really encourage you to contact your GP today to let them know the thoughts you are holding inside so they can organise the best, most appropriate support to help you through.  While in the interim, if you think you might act on your thoughts, please call 999 and ask for emergency services immediately.  People do care I promise and medical professionals are there to keep you protected.

    Our members have mentioned some mental health organisations that you can speak to in confidence about how you're feeling.  Here's a list should you need it; you can,
    Your wellbeing is always a priority in life, and there are things that can be done to alleviate some of the stress brought on by external factors such as work, university and money problems.  Have you accessed any support to help with these?  It might seem overwhelming to focus on the picture as a whole, but if we break it down into component parts I assure you it won't feel so daunting.  For instance, the lovely people at Citizens Advice are well placed to look at any debt, and arrange a plan that works for you.  Would you consider that?

    To echo @leeCal 's comments around not knowing what the future has in store, I've found that too!  Although you might not have found the partner for you yet, that doesn't mean they aren't out there looking for you as we type.  Life can be undoubtedly hard, but what makes it special are the unexpected moments of joy and connection; you mention having special interests and I wonder if this could be an avenue to meeting new people for you?  If you fancy telling us more about your hobbies, we'd love to hear.

    Also, I'm going to email you separately in a little while to see if there's anything we at Scope can do to help so please keep an eye out in your inbox.  I hope you're feeling okay this morning.  

    Take care and I'll be in touch again soon.
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

Brightness

Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.