Fed up of anxiety

Sandy_123

Hi yes, the Dr has left it with me to what treatment I want as I'm not sure what to do. She offered 3 things citalapram, HRT, or therapies. I mean I'm on loads of meds a day like 14 tablets a day. I don't know what to do.

OverlyAnxious

Meds would be an instant start with the potential of side effects, therapy is likely to be several weeks away and may have less impact but is lower risk, neither are perfect.  Can't comment on HRT lol.


I can deal with anxiety, but what I can't deal with is the physical consequences of it.  The telephone rang today, which triggered my IBS, which aggrevated my stomach, meaning I couldn't eat any lunch, and I've spent the afternoon barely able to move or bend with everything inside moving and gushing around...which in turn triggers more anxiety!!  I've been told I can't have any therapy without a phone call which is obviously not possible for me. 

idontlikeliving

Trigger warning ⛔️ 

It’s exhausting. My ocd is checking things because I’m like but what if I don’t and someone dies and it’s my fault. This is just checking things in the house. When I used to go out I’m just thinking everything is out to get me. It’s mad because I know I’ve checked them, I know it’s gonna be ok. It’s that little voice. Wish it would do one. So frustrating. Sometimes tho it makes me laugh, I think god I’m a loon while I’m checking the door handle for the 200th time that day lol xx

idontlikeliving

@OverlyAnxious I had the pip assessment call today at 2.10pm I couldn’t stop going to the toilet all morning. Lol it’s crazy how anxiety affects people. Xx

chiarieds

Hi @Sandy_123 - in many ways I think this is good......you & your GP are both part of a team; as such your input also matters. Give it a few days; look into things yourself. As far as HRT goes, my GP was willing to have me on it for a few years, but no longer. Whilst it may help, & be one of the things you could choose, I'm unsure it would be helpful with anxiety itself.

Oh @OverlyAnxious - I know trying to gain appropriate help for you seems to be a medical conundrum, but do hope you're feeling that little bit better soon. Wishing you both well.

Sandy_123

@Teddybear12 was it OK the hrt? Did you get anxiety before it or after taking it? 
@chiarieds yeah its good she's let me think about it and do research.
@OverlyAnxious I will have a think about the meds. 

Sandy_123

Thanks @Teddybear12. No I don't have a certain trigger it's every thing I do, like and I know it sounds silly but.....if I put washer on I  like what if it catches fire or something. Same with cooker, going out in a car I  like don't say a word then next minute I'm saying, slow down, don't get too close to the car infront ?, if you want to pull over il, walk the rest of the way, causing the driver  to get irate lol. I also hate eating with my grandkids as they shove it All their mouths, again I'm like take little bites have a drink, scared they'll choke and I refuse them lollipops.  
Before I used to need an exit in a building incase I needed to use it, or in a restaurant sit near it, so I could escape quick.  I mean  I payed the bill, incase anything happened.

Sandy_123

I'm actually laughing reading that back ?

Sandy_123

Shes left it with me to decide I altered mine too for you. 
Anywho time to sleep I think 

Cress

Hi @Sandy_123
I hope you find something to help you get through this.
You've always been very supportive of other members and we really appreciate it.
I hope we can be of some help supporting you.
Sending hugs 

OverlyAnxious

chiarieds said:

Oh @OverlyAnxious - I know trying to gain appropriate help for you seems to be a medical conundrum, but do hope you're feeling that little bit better soon. Wishing you both well.

Thanks Chiari.  What frustrates me more than anything at the moment is that we're told to start with small steps and focus on what we CAN do, rather than what we can't...  Yet when I tell the mental team that I CAN use text based comms like email & messenger I just get shut down immediately and told they don't do that.  In a similar vane, a couple of years ago I could still drive locally & deal with people outside (but not in an enclosed room with locked doors), so suggested meeting in a nearby park or similar and again was just told that wasn't possible either.  I'm no longer able to do that now though, I can't even deal with people coming to the door to deliver things without upsetting my stomach.

I know I'm now so deep in this that meds would be the only way out for me.  But any extra digestive consequences from them would be catastrophic.  I can't cope with the digestive issues at the stage they're now at, I can't go shopping any more, I can't walk more than a few metres, I can't even drive for 'leisure' because my stomach is too weak.  At home I'm struggling to carry out basic tasks like cleaning because of bending & forces pulling on my stomach, rather than actual physical restrictions.  I'm not able to eat much and I suspect a good percentage of the calories that I do get in aren't being processed before their untimely exit.  I've been to every service I can think of to ask if they can help someone in my position, without any success.  So I have no idea what else I can try now.

Lisatho11987777

@Sandy_123 anxiety causes alot of things and makes you act out of character my stress and anxiety has been quite bad but I seem to have it under control more so because my mum is here I am getting somewhere now with things but mum is hard work when I am ok I cope better 

I think its because I know my mum could pass at any time she deteriorates by the week and her dementia is takeing the careing person she used to be and has turned her into this nasty person who is rude and swears and lashes out and other times she can be laughing and joking 

I stress because I hold everything in and I feel guilty then and I get anxious am I doing enough and since her assessment  for her dementia my anxiety has gone through the roof and I imagine finding my mum gone in her sleep 

I feel like I am holding on to something thst has already gone mum used to love comeing on holiday with either just me or me and my partner the past four days on holiday were realy difficult and wonderd why do I bother then I feel guilty again and my anxiety starts again 

I have spoken to my dr and she said I am doing realy well considering I look after mum on my own and work and just wishes there was more help out there 

I have chosen to look after mum so I will just have to live with the anxiety and just give her the best I can 

Sandy_123

Thanks @Cress
@OverlyAnxious things seem very difficult for you. It's disappointing that you can't get the help you need from the services that you have tried.
@lisathomas50 you can only do your best as your dr has said your doing it well.

Yvette48

I've suffered from anxiety for a long time too, it started when I was 15. It's gradually got worse over the years due to me being attacked in my own house when I was 5 and half months pregnant with my last little girl. A man I didn't even know bashed my front door in and punched me in the face for some reason. I sadly had my baby girl 6 weeks later and she was stillborn. Since then I worry about everything and my partner has to lock and shut everything before he goes to work or I panic. I overthink everything and some people look at me like I'm crazy which is how I feel on a daily basis. I just don't try to explain it to anyone anymore because it just gets me really worked up. Luckily I have a really good gp who has helped me so much. 

Sandy_123

@Yvette48 I'm so sorry you suffered that attack and lost your baby. How awful for you. I'm not surprised that you get anxious going through an ordeal like that. I'm glad you have a good gp and hope the person got dealt with. 

Yvette48

@sandy123.it was horrendous, still don't know why but he was drunk. He went to court but only got 1 year probation and was told to pay me 450.00 compensation which to me is a complete joke. He actually ended up committing suicide not long after so I was told. Still didn't make me feel any better. He totally ruined me as a person and even though its been years you never forget. I totally relate to anyone with anxiety it's a daily battle with your brain and it wears you out. 

Sandy_123

My goodness, I agree no amount of compensation  would make up for what happened to you. Do you still live at the same home? 

Yvette48

No I moved out the next day and went to my partners house. I had to get someone to empty my house because I didn't want to go back. I'm very wary of people around me at all times which makes me feel worse. I really don't tend to go out much now as I feel safer in my house when all doors and windows are locked. I know people who haven't gone through it don't understand where your coming from, I've had people laugh when I check a door is locked after actually locking it which makes me feel irritated but it's just one of the many things I do. 

Sandy_123

Its just checking that you are safe, by making sure the house is secure. It doesn't matter what others think they've not gone through your ordeal.

Yvette48

I know and that's why I don't bother explaining myself to anyone anymore. The people that matter the most to me know what I'm like so that's why I don't bother. I know I have anxiety but if you ever need to talk on here just give me a shout. No one should suffer in silence because it does more harm than good.