Dating with a disability difficulties

MissMarple

I'm single and practically housebound due to a health condition. I believe that there must be potential partners out there who would not be deterred by this. If I lived together with someone, we could surely find time during the day when I'm feeling reasonably well to chat, watch a movie, cuddle etc. It would take a supportive and understanding partner, but I can see it happen. However, how to get to that point? 

I'm unable to go out to meet new people. When my friends visit, I lie down to save energy so that I can concentrate on actually enjoying a conversation. But I can't exactly put up an online dating profile saying that my ideal place for a first date is my bed.

Is there anyone else here in a similar situation? Or anyone with other difficulties in finding a partner because of your disability?

Sandy_123

Hi @MissMarple have you tried on line dating for people  with disabilities? It might be a way of communicating with someone who understands from their own issues. Might be worth a try. I've not tried them personally mainly because I'm happy not dating. 

chiarieds

Hi @MissMarple - I don't know if the Outsiders Club would be worth a try: https://outsiders.org.uk/club/the-outsiders-club/

MissMarple

Hi @Sandy_123 I haven't tried any disability specific sites. It's not really the lack of understanding from people that I find difficult because I wouldn't want to be with someone who is not supportive anyway. It's more about the practicalities, how to stay safe in the phase of meeting up with someone new, how to use my limited energy wisely etc.

MissMarple

Thanks, @chiarieds I've seen the Outsiders Club mentioned in other posts. I wouldn't be able to go to their regional lunches. I wonder if joining their online club only would be worth it. Do you know anyone who is a member?

chiarieds

Hi @MissMarple - the fact they have an online community was why I mentioned this. Presumably due to the pandemic most of it would have been online any way. I don't know anyone who is a member, tho we have had members join in the past, but they don't always remain active in this community. You won't be the only person that lives further away from where they have lunches, etc., I just thought it may be a way of getting to know people who are also looking for friendship &/or a relationship.

MissMarple

Yes, thank you @chiarieds

Penybont

So far my experience with outsiders is not good. I get email saying I have been excepted and should get a second email to join there Facebook group that was Monday I am still waiting for this so called second email. I have also sent them a email about it this and still no reply

chiarieds

I'm sorry about the delay with the Outsiders Club, & hope it isn't much longer before you get the 2nd email from them. Thank you for letting us know @Penybont

MissMarple

@Penybont My understanding is that the Outsiders club is led by volunteers so they do everything in their spare time, which may be an explanation why it takes longer for them to reply. Hope you'll be able to join the Facebook group soon. Will you let us know how do you find it?

TLW51

how to use my limited energy wisely etc.

I completely understand the lack of energy. Seriously. I went to visit a local college with my son. It took 3 hours. After I got home I was knocked out for 13 hours. ( It was more walking than I thought which was extremely difficult.) 
To be honest, I've given up on finding romantic relationships. They've never worked out for me. I found that most recently when I did try to date, men were only interested in hooking up. Not an actual relationship or actually letting people know they were spending time with me.

I'm not going to continue to waste my time with that. One guy, who is well off, actually had me buy his drinks as he put $600 in a slot machine. ? 
I find that there seems to be a lack of seeing me as valued. Assumably because of the disability. So you know what? I'm over it. 
I'm going to read, pray, rest, play games, and attempt to make platonic friends. My 17 yr old son is the most important person in my world. 

MissMarple

I'm sorry that you  feel this way @TLW51 If someone doesn't value you for any reason, they are not worth your time. However, I believe that we just need to find the right people who are kind, supportive and respectful. I'm lucky to have a few friends like that, and I hope I can find someone special for a relationship too.

janer1967

I tried to join insiders too and it was very complicated and I gave up. I actually joined but it wouldn't let me put a profile on 

It will be quite unsafe to meet someone in your home and I suggest you have someone else with you . Be careful using online dating lots of fake and scams around 

gru1248

I’ve tried a couple of disabled dating sites
they are not cheap 
just to reach messages you have to pay a monthly fee.

MissMarple

So have you actually tried those sites @gru1248 and paid the fee? What was your experience?

gru1248

No didn’t pay the fee it’s not cheap just to get a message 
thank you for asking