Building confidence and communication

putter218

Hi all, I'm struggling with communicating with people at the moment. I rarely go out on my own only to work. Sometimes that's counter productive because not everyone is always friendly and up to talking. I overthink it that much that I put myself off from opening up. But then I feel lonely again. 

Sandy_123

Hi @putter218 welcome to the forum. Have you spoke with your gp about how you feel?  They maybe able to offer some help. 
There's lots of us to talk to here, plenty of topics to join in with or games.

leeCal

Hi @putter218, when I was young I suffered from selective mutism and found it impossible to talk to my peers. This eased off over a period of twenty years or so during which time I fought to control it. Eventually I accepted myself as a flawed human being because I’d noticed everyone else had their flaws as well! I used to overthink a conversation I might start to such a degree that I had the conversation on my own in my own head and of course each time that went wrong or became pointless so I didn’t speak. Often I’d thought so much that the time to speak had long passed. 

These days i try not second guess what someone will think of me before I speak and just say what I want to say. I found the more I spoke the easier it became to speak. Sometimes I still get caught out but mostly I’m fine. 

I hope you enjoy being part of this online community ?

nannymaroon

putter218 said:

Hi all, I'm struggling with communicating with people at the moment. I rarely go out on my own only to work. Sometimes that's counter productive because not everyone is always friendly and up to talking. I overthink it that much that I put myself off from opening up. But then I feel lonely again. 

I rarely get out too. And I avoid people because I don't want to be rejected again. Once when I was in a supermarket a group of teenagers approached me asking for directions to another shop. After I told them one girl started laughing and got right in my face and shouted"you're disgusting your breath stinks". They ran off laughing. I stood there mortified because people were looking at me.
Sometimes it feels safer to avoid people, but that isn't healthy. I always try to pick myself up and try again but it gets harder each time. DON'T GIVE UP.?