Going off driving — Scope | Disability forum
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Going off driving

66Mustang
66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,621 Disability Gamechanger

I know some may say “good” and to embrace it, but I am hoping for some support as driving is one of my only hobbies and it is a skill that is important to have especially if you don’t live in a city with good transport networks.

I used to really like driving and would go out daily for a drive. I would often go to a shop or something but often would just go for a drive. Now, I seem to be going off the activity. I don’t think it’s because I don’t like driving, I think it is because my issues seem to be imposing too many limitations on my ability to do it.

What worries me is that the scope of what I can do and where I can go seems to be slowly shrinking and I am worried that it will shrink further until I reach a point where I can no longer do it at all.

Firstly, I only drive with someone else in the car with me. I can’t see myself going out alone in the short or medium term and I am not overly sure it will ever happen but I am trying to remain optimistic for the long term.

Secondly, I don’t like driving on dual carriageways or motorways because I have obsessive thoughts about crashing the car on these roads. I am comfortable on smaller roads where it is possible to stop if needed, note that I have never had to stop, it’s just a safety net.

Thirdly, I used to go out quite far from home - to about a 50 mile radius. This has gradually shrunk over the years and now I am only really comfortable driving about 10-15 miles from home.

Fourthly, I am constantly worried about unexpected things happening like roads I intend to use being closed and having to follow a diversion.

Finally I find the social/cooperative aspect of driving hard and always worry about what I will do if I get into a situation that requires working with another driver to solve a situation like working out who will reverse on a single track road.

I am thinking that this is all confidence related.

I don’t think Covid has helped with not being able to go out during the lockdowns and having to stay local when we do go out.

I am just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation (either with driving or something else) and/or has any advice they might want to give? I want to like driving again and to be able to do it to its fullest!

Comments

  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 5,005

    Scope community team

    Sorry to hear that you're not driving as much tehse days @66Mustang, I can't empathise with the situation all too much but I imagine it doesn't feel too good to be going off one of your most treasured hobbies.

    If I'm ever not enjoying something as much as I used to, but want to get back into it, I try to remember what made me fall in love with that activity in the first place and focus on those things. Of course sometimes, a break from doing something can help too, but it's not always ideal when it's an activity you do to aid your well-being.
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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,375 Disability Gamechanger
    All I can say is try and persevere having lost the ability to drive myself this is what really makes me realise the extent of my disability and loss of independence 

    It doesn't matter if you don't go far its just the doing that counts 
    I have professional experience in HR within public,  private, and charity sectors.  If I can't help I will
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,621 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks @Ross_Scope

    I like your idea of thinking back about what made you fall in love with the thing. I will try to do that. :)

    I think maybe you can relate more than you think as (correct me if I’m wrong or use the wrong wording) you have vision issues and you love gaming and I can imagine the two clash with each other? Similarly my issues get in the way of my driving? I guess if you love something enough you find ways around the barriers?
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,538 Disability Gamechanger
    I will never drive so can't comment directly but I have had experience of struggling to engage with something you love. You have to hang on in there and work your way through what might have triggered it. Once you've located that you can start to process it. With me it was music. Could play music but could not listen to it for more than a year. Linked to the death of a close friend. Take your time and you'll get there. 

    Side note but it always makes me laugh when people talk about cities having good public transport. They may have more but good is not what follows. 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,621 Disability Gamechanger
    @janer1967 thank you, yes I’m a bit reluctant to give up temporarily so am trying to persevere with it, as I know it’s something that’s hard to take back up again once you stop.

    Sorry you feel the way you do, I can imagine it was really frustrating having to give up. I guess I should feel fortunate I can at least do it a little bit as others aren’t so lucky.
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,621 Disability Gamechanger
    Mike - I can definitely relate my driving to how you describe your experience with music. Thanks for sharing and for the encouragement.

    You are right about public transport, I should have worded that better!
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,356 Disability Gamechanger
    Some times it helps to have break from something you enjoy in order to get that enjoyment back.
    I am a person with epilepsy not an epileptic, my illness doesn't define me.
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,621 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks woodbine and it’s nice to see you back again :) I hope you feel a bit better after your time away.
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,356 Disability Gamechanger
    @66Mustang yes thanks, been a tough week.
    I am a person with epilepsy not an epileptic, my illness doesn't define me.
  • Dragonslayer
    Dragonslayer Community Co-Production Group Posts: 1,549 Pioneering
    I too love my driving and like you I have found my radius as well as the time spent driving is much shorter than it was. My condition doesn't help and I think I m giving in to it a little too much. Hopefully with time things will get better, but with winter and the dark mornings and nights fast approaching, I'm not too sure.
    I am driving up to the Lakes next week, So that will be good, but after that I have no idea.  
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,621 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks @Dragonslayer

    I hope you enjoy your trip :)
  • oldngrumpy
    oldngrumpy Member Posts: 119 Pioneering

    Three years ago I sold my car.
    I didn't use it that much, as I have a disability bus pass. When I did it used so much fuel I started to hate driving it.
    But I loved the car and I loved driving.

    Tax, insurance, fuel were all getting too expensive. So I sold it.
    Was I going to regret it I thought?
    I can confidently say I love not having a car.
    It's a bit inconvenient when its pouring rain. Or I got several bags of heavy shopping.

    As I say I got a bus pass and I am lucky enough to be in an area that is served by a relatively good bus service.

    Try a few weeks not driving or ask a relative to look after your car for a month or so and see how you get on.

    All the best


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