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I haven't been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but my symptoms have affected all areas of my life

Elizabeth67

Good afternoon,
I have not been officially diagnosed with ADHD, I have been very misunderstood all my life and treated for depression which has never worked. My symptoms have exacerbated since my menopause and severe trauma. The man I love and another relationship has also broken down because of all my symptoms. I struggle with work, tasks, family. I cannot stick to anything and get aggressive when I feel overwhelmed with tasks. I feel so alone. I am 54 years old and to all intents and purposes, I present a completely different persona to the world.

Elizabeth

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Tori_Scope

Good afternoon, and welcome to the community @Elizabeth67

It's great to have you on board.

Thank you for being so open and honest in your first post here. I'm sure it must be really difficult to feel so misunderstood, especially when this is having such an impact on all areas of your life.

It's quite normal for people to 'mask' or 'camouflage' to hide their condition, so you're not alone in that. I can imagine that this must be quite tiring, is that fair?

Have you spoken to your GP or another professional about the symptoms you've been experiencing to see if you could get an assessment for ADHD?

I also wanted to point you towards a YouTube channel, How To ADHD, which you might like to check out. It's run by an adult woman with ADHD who covers wide range of topics.

Just to let you know, I've moved your post into our category for discussions relating to neurodiversity, and renamed your post, so that other members can find it more easily.

Elizabeth67

Hi Tori,
thank you so much. I will get in touch with my doctor imminently. I appreciate all your advice.

Elizabeth

Tori_Scope

No problem @Elizabeth67

It's worth noting that waiting times for an assessment can, unfortunately, be very long indeed. However, if you feel as though getting an official diagnosis could benefit you, and you can't afford to go private, then it's better to be on the waiting list than not. Either way, it's a good idea to speak to your GP about the symptoms you've been experience so that they can point you in the right direction.

Have you looked at any self-help techniques to help you manage your symptoms at all?

Annette1356

Hi Elizabeth, I was diagnosed with AADD the adult form of ADHD, in 2018, the only hyperactivity I have is, I talk a lot, lol.

I went to my doctor because my son was diagnosed at age 6 so we knew he had it ( he's now 25) but then my daughter was also diagnosed with ADHD at age 40 and as I was having trouble, and had been all my life, I decided I should find out if I had it too. I was seen by a consultant in about 3 months, but that may have been because we had it through the whole family, including several of my grandchildren, so it was a quick and easy diagnosis. I also have a friend who I thought was showing similar symptoms, but she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, caused by childhood trauma when she was very young. As ADHD is a genetic thing, you should start by looking at your family history (who were considered naughty kids, even though not diagnosed) Adults that were considered "not quite right", rather disorganised, eccentric, etc. Then you have evidence to present to your doctor and you may get assessed a bit quicker. Good luck, I hope you get it sorted soon.

Elizabeth67

Hi Annette,
thank you so much for getting in touch and I value your opinion greatly. I am the eldest of 3 children and brought up by my mum. My dad wasn’t present but what I do know of him in later life, I definitely think he is the parent who had ADHD. He was always off the rails and although intelligent and capable, he couldn’t hold a job or a relationship to save his life. There are many similarities. I will take all of this up with my doctor.
Thank you so much for taking the time to get in touch. ?

Annette1356

Yes Elizabeth, my mother was the one with ADHD complete with ODD and although she trained to be a nurse and held her job quite a few years ( about 35 ) it was only because she was able to change it around a lot. She trained as a theatre nurse, paediatrics, orthopaedics and as an infectious disease nurse, so she never got bored! I also have been able to keep a job, once I decided what I wanted to do and then went self employed, until recently I was a carpenter, so I also was able to change about a lot. I worked with different people and in different places almost every day. I don't take orders well, so I found it easier to work for myself. Most of my family has ODD ( oppositional defiance disorder ) too, which often accompanies ADHD, so you can imagine what my family life was like, lol