trying to get into employment

tazzy_956

Hi everyone, 
I just saw a job advert for an employment coach with Catch 22 and it's something that I would really like to try. I've applied for these kinds of roles before and I really would like help in building confidence to retry. The surge in confidence came from successfully helping my sister prepare for work and she feels a lot more confident as a result of my help. It made me feel like I can do this but I still doubt it. Before, when I would apply for these roles, I was not in a good place and wanted a job for the wrong reasons at the time. I used to feel like a job was tied to my worth and it made me a person - a grim and dark thought but I feel brave for sharing it. It takes courage to share your most vulnerable moments. I always freeze up in interviews as I feel I'm not good enough. 

I've watched so many interview prep videos on various platforms on Tiktok, Youtube, etc, and not one of them has ever told me to be myself. I think they think it translates to being unprofessional when to me, it makes me feel more confident and it helps with knowing you would be a good match for the company as you are interviewing them too. I don't have the confidence to be my own career coach because I think it's wrong and no one else says what I say. I feel like an outsider and that makes me like I'm incompetent. I think what I am describing is imposter syndrome. I think my uniqueness is a weakness and not a strength, I recognize that is not true but I guess what I would like is the reassurance that being yourself is enough. 

I find it hard to trust myself and I think this is where the lack of confidence comes from, I think I do have what it takes, I'm just afraid what if the interviewers don't. My mind is filled with what-ifs and what can go wrong, then what can go right? Dealing with my mental illness is intense but I don't want it to win and writing it out makes me feel a lot better, it gives me the much-needed clarity I need and it always helps to know I may have comforted someone without even realizing. Not all the best things have to be intentional. I do believe in happy accidents and I do believe in fate. 

Writing this out has been therapeutic and has made me feel like maybe I should write a blog about my fears and anxieties and my journey to feel heard and to overcome and remove these difficulties from my life. I wonder if I'd even be brave enough to start or to complete it. 

I really hope I can but for now, it's just thought now at the moment. 

Thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing your replies. 

Tori_Scope

Hi @tazzy_956  

Firstly, your post was insightful and well-written, so I definitely think you'd be able to produce some great blog posts if you wanted to! I find it helpful to write stuff out when I'm processing thoughts and feelings too, so I know what you mean. 

Imposter syndrome can be really hard to overcome, but it's not impossible by any stretch. Taking small steps to build up your confidence can be a good way of proving to yourself that you have the skills needed to do something (or that you have the ability to learn!). 

I agree that being yourself in an interview is important, as you want to make sure it's the right match for both you and the employer. You want to present a positive version of yourself, shining a light on your strengths and abilities, but not pretend you're someone you're not. 

I think a work coach sounds like a great job, and it's good that you've managed to build some confidence by helping your sister out. 

I'd like to point you towards Scope's employment services, as you might be able to benefit from some help from one of our friendly teams. 

Have you spoken to anyone at your university about your career aspirations? For example, does your university have a careers service?