If we become concerned about you or anyone else while using one of our services, we will act in line with our safeguarding policy and procedures. This may involve sharing this information with relevant authorities to ensure we comply with our policies and legal obligations.
Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.
Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.
My manager said that I looked better without my walking stick. What are your thoughts on this?
Options
gaynorwishes
Community member Posts: 5 Connected
Hi I have had lots of health issues over the past few years. But in Oct 2020 I had extensive surgery. So I had 7 months off work. When I went back i was using a walking stick. For when I had bad days. But after I had more surgery in Sept 2021 for gallbladder removal I went back into work with out my stick. My manager said to me that I look so much better without it and I'm the same age has him. He said it made me look old. And he said he wondered what I was doing with it. Even though he knows all my medical issue..what are peoples thoughts on this pls? Thanks for reading
Comments
-
Hi and welcome to the community
People say things without realising the impact of what they are saying and usually don't mean to cause upset
I suggest you discuss with your manager how their comments made you feel you may find they had not thought about what they said
You should bring it to their attention first and if it doesn't get resolved then take it further -
Somebody said to me in passing today that I probably couldn't lift something, looking at my walking stick, it wasn't true of course, but it proves the point that people make assumptions.2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡
-
Hi @gaynorwishes thanks so much for reaching out. As our lovely members have said, often people say things without realising that they might be insensitive or ill-informed. Because there is quite a lack of awareness around disability in society, a lot of assumptions are made. If you feel up to it, you could gently challenge those assumptions your manager made.
If you're not comfortable talking about it with your manager directly, do you have a trusted colleague you can talk to, or a member of HR, if you have them? Just to flag it as a potential issue, or an area to focus on with some organisation wide training around disability awareness?
Online Community Coordinator
Scope
Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now. -
gaynorwishes said:Hi I have had lots of health issues over the past few years. But in Oct 2020 I had extensive surgery. So I had 7 months off work. When I went back i was using a walking stick. For when I had bad days. But after I had more surgery in Sept 2021 for gallbladder removal I went back into work with out my stick. My manager said to me that I look so much better without it and I'm the same age has him. He said it made me look old. And he said he wondered what I was doing with it. Even though he knows all my medical issue..what are peoples thoughts on this pls? Thanks for reading
sounds like a numpty to be honest.Carpe Noctem -
I had someone tell me I was acting like an eighty year old just because I sat with a hot water bottle behind me! Ridiculous obviously, I’m nowhere near eighty and my back was aching. However people do say things without thinking about he detail too much and we add the detail ourselves very often ...and replay the whole thing over and over just to add salt to the wound.
Throw away statements like that are best ignored in my opinion.“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
Brightness
Categories
- All Categories
- 13K Start here and say hello!
- 6.6K Coffee lounge
- 69 Games lounge
- 385 Cost of living
- 4.3K Disability rights and campaigning
- 1.9K Research and opportunities
- 199 Community updates
- 9.2K Talk about your situation
- 2.1K Children, parents, and families
- 1.6K Work and employment
- 767 Education
- 1.7K Housing and independent living
- 1.4K Aids, adaptations, and equipment
- 586 Dating, sex, and relationships
- 363 Exercise and accessible facilities
- 737 Transport and travel
- 31.6K Talk about money
- 4.4K Benefits and financial support
- 5.2K Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
- 17.1K PIP, DLA, and AA
- 4.9K Universal Credit (UC)
- 6.2K Talk about your impairment
- 1.8K Cerebral palsy
- 868 Chronic pain and pain management
- 180 Physical and neurological impairments
- 1.1K Autism and neurodiversity
- 1.2K Mental health and wellbeing
- 317 Sensory impairments
- 818 Rare, invisible, and undiagnosed conditions
Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.