Hi, my name is Gareth77 I need HELP!!! — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi, my name is Gareth77 I need HELP!!!

Gareth77
Gareth77 Member Posts: 4 Listener

Hi all above is my scan results from 2018, now in 2005 I suffered a back injury, at the time I was covered through my bupa scheme through work, to cut along story short I had root nerve block injections, Physiotherapy, Pain management programs. When my cover didn’t cover me any more as there was noted a change from acute to chronic or visa versa and it was onto the NHS where I’ve visited no end of hospitals had scans and more injections. All this time I’ve been out of work as I lost my job, I’ve been on medications right from the start, I’ve been on benefits etc. As I said previously I’ve not worked so not had income apart from benefits, all this time the family has relied on wife’s wages to get by, we own our own home. My symptoms have been up and down but I just keep getting worse, doc’s say an opp wouldn’t benefit me, but they don’t offer anything other.
Earlier this year my wife asked me for a divorce, and wants to sell the house, and starts telling me she can pick up keys for her new place on New Year’s Eve but can’t pay for 2 homes, so I’m left in limbo so to speak, I don’t know what to do, where to turn, Christmas has been sh**, it’s starting to get to me know and I find myself thinking is all this really worth it anymore, yeah I’m having those thoughts.
Is there someone who could read the report and give their thoughts on it please, also if there’s some who can give me any advice I would be greatful,
I can’t seem to get anyone to believe me and how much pain and discomfort that I’m actually in.

Thank you regards

Gareth

Comments

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 25,533 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi,
    Unfortunately we are not medical professionals so won’t be able to give you any medical advice. I’d advise to to speak to your GP regarding any concerns you have. They will hopefully be able to answer any of your questions.
    Are you currently claiming all the benefits you’re entitled to? I’d advise speaking to an advice agency near you for a full benefits check. Though you won’t be able to claim for any help with the mortgage. If you’re having difficulty paying then I’d speak to your mortgage provider. If your wife is named on the mortgage then it will be partly her responsibility too. 
    If your having suicidal thoughts then you can ring the Samaritans at any time on 116 123 https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,052 Disability Gamechanger
    @Gareth77 poppys advice as usual is sound, regarding the divorce you will need to get proper legal advice, if your wife wants to move out thats her decision.
    Really sorry to hear this has made your Christmas horrible.
    Be kind to newer members
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 2,043 Pioneering
    Hi @Gareth77 Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time at the moment. If your wives name is on the mortgage she will still be responsible for her share until  the house is sold. You cannot do anything until the holiday period is over but then you really do need to talk to your GP, get some local advice regarding your benefits and get some Legal advice also perhaps get an idea of how much your house is worth.  I am sure at the moment with your ill health and feeling very low this is the last thing you want to do unfortunately you do not have a choice. Do one thing at a time. Do you have anyone that can help you. Take care and if you have any further questions we can help you with please ask. 
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,358

    Scope community team

    Hi @Gareth77,
    I'm so sorry to hear how difficult this year has been for you. I hope what's been said above is of use, but I must admit that I'm concerned about how this has impacted you and the sort of thoughts you're having.

    You're not alone with this. We're here to support you, but if you are having the sort of thoughts you've described it's really important you speak to someone who's trained and able to help you. Have you ever spoken to Samaritans before? They're a fantastic service and you can speak to them on 116 123, but you can also email them at [email protected] if that's something you'd prefer. In the meantime, please give Mind's resources on getting help a read. 

    I'm also going to send you a quick email to check in with you.
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  • Gareth77
    Gareth77 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    edited January 2
    Hi all I’ve had problems today.
    This morning there were numerous people in my home taking away furniture to go to wife’s new place, it got to me and i wanted a way out so messaged people saying I would take my last breath today.

    I had my brother and his wife at my door checking up on me, and wouldn’t leave me there, whilst this was going on someone phoned and called 999 I presume and an ambulance was on way but because I had people there it was called off. Yes people are concerned for me and how I am and want me to seek medical help by going to hospital. I have been taken down to my brothers family home so I’m not alone.
    I have promised I won’t do nothing at there’s tonight.

    Would it be more beneficial for me to go hospital tonight or tomorrow.

    I have sent this same message as email to Jo @ Samaritans asking for help.

    Thank you
    Gareth
  • hEDgirl
    hEDgirl Member Posts: 22 Courageous
    Gareth, I am pleased to hear that you have done the right thing by contacting friends, family and health professionals such as the Samaritans.  So pleased that your brother & family have you with them.

    Sending out thoughts and best wishes.
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 2,043 Pioneering
    edited January 1
    @Gareth77 If you feel you would be better going to hospital tonight, you should go. The sooner you can start any treatment the better.  You have taken the first step by reaching out. Well done. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 11,600 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Gareth77 - it's a very difficult thing when your marriage breaks down, & the taking away of furniture, which in itself isn't important, perhaps signifies this change is taking place.
    What matters is that you keep yourself safe, & it's good you're not on your own. However, only you will know if you can't keep yourself safe. If at any time you do feel unsure, then please don't hesitate to call 999. In my thoughts & prayers too.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,358

    Scope community team

    I'm really glad you reached out @Gareth77 and that your brother and his wife have had you stay with them overnight. Did you go to the hospital? To echo everyone else, the most important thing is your safety. If you're worried about keeping yourself safe at any time then please do call 999 or go straight to hospital. 

    Have the Samaritans been able to offer you some support? 

    We’d be more than happy to try and seek some local support for you if that's of interest? I’ll be emailing you shortly, so if this is something that you would like, please just let me know.
    Community Manager
    Scope

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  • Gareth77
    Gareth77 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    @Adrian_Scope thank you for the reply, yes I stayed at my brothers house last night as he didn’t want to just take me to hospital and then just have to leave me there with all the Covid restrictions in place. With everything that happened yesterday morning it just got too much and without thinking of the consequences I text what I did, having had the chance to speak to brother and his wife and having slept overnight I really don’t want to be in hospital especially taking up a bed space that could be used more importantly in current climate, I did email jo but not got reply yet, I could do with seeing someone but my current situation with my back doesn’t allow for much travel so it would need to be as close to me as possible. If it is something you could arrange I would be greatful. What would you want from me.
    thank you
    Gareth
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,358

    Scope community team

    Hi @Gareth77, I've emailed over some more details of what we need.
    I'm sorry to hear you've not had a response from Samaritans yet. I know they look to respond to emails within 24 hours, but it's very likely they're especially busy at this time of year. If you'd rather not call them, you could also consider texting SHOUT to 85258 for text-based mental health support.
    Community Manager
    Scope

    Tell us how to make the community better for you. Complete our feedback form.
  • Gareth77
    Gareth77 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hi @Adrian_Scope I have received your message and have replied with my contact details etc.

    Thank you Again
    @Gareth77

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