Hello. My husband's had a few falls in his nursing home. Who can I go to for support?

starshine

Hi I am Denise. I have been caring for my husband for 11 years. He suffered a stroke, a bleed in the brain stem. 2 years ago he went into a nursing home as his disabilities got to much for me to care for him safely. The guilt never leaves me for doing so, but I was worn out. In the care home he has fracture his disabled arm and broken his hip (on his disabled side) due to falls. This week after six months from his hip operation they decided to get him on his feet and walk which was hard for him anyway. He has had no physio after his op just hoisted him.
That night I cried my eyes out. He has no way of getting back to walking the little he did before the fall. 
The questions keep going around in my head, why ??
I fell alone and helpless. Who do I go to for support and help. 
He has deteriorated so much.

Sandy_123

Hi @starshine welcome to the forum. I'm sorry your husband has has falls that had an impact.  Has your husband got a care plan in place, on how to mobilise him, which is what the care staff follow. I would look at the care plan and see if the staff followed it, or if it has been updated to his needs. Then I would approach the manager on this. 
Physiotherapy should also have been assessed after his hip and arm. If you have spoken to the manager and got no luck, I have put a link in below you can also speak to them 
https://www.cqc.org.uk/

Also please don't feel guilty, you have done what you thought was best for husband.

Tori_Scope

Welcome to the community @starshine  

I'm sorry to hear about the position you and your husband are in. I can only imagine how stressful and upsetting it must be for you. I'd join Sandy_123 in saying that it's not your fault at all. Your husband deserves a good level of care, and they should be providing that. It's also really important that you look after yourself and your own needs.

I'd echo the above comments suggesting you could try speaking to the nursing home, and then trying somewhere like the CQC if you're not getting anywhere. Have you tried either of those?

If you'd like to access some advice and support as a carer, you could also speak to Carers UK. 

I know that being in these sorts of situations can feel quite isolating, but we're all here to support you

starshine

Hi from Starshine. Thank you all for your kind words. I have tried all or most of your wonderful suggestions, it was good to hear we are thinking on the same lines as most of the time I think the home are just being polite to me.
Covid has played a big part in my husbands deterioration also in 2years the home has had 3 new managers with all the carers and nurses I knew now gone, left.
I must admit I am worn out fire fighting these past 11years. But I must pick up the gauntlet and try to speak to the new manager and try and speak to my husbands doctor as was suggested.
Thank you to all. Take care, x

Sandy_123

Good luck and let us know how you get on 

woodbine

I think the point about getting some help for yourself is a good one, it's difficult with care homes when the management and staff seem to be changing to often, cover of course hasn't helped with that but do make sure that they keep you in the loop regarding his treatment/progress.
Do you have any family who could support both you and him?

chiarieds

Hi @starshine - as you said it got to the stage where you couldn't look after him safely, so as others have said, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. What is so sad to read is that your husband has fallen & sustained fractures whilst in the care home.

What I don't understand as a long-retired physio, & as someone that has fractured a hip, is why he was left so long, & why he didn't get physio, as also mentioned above. Despite this, I do feel that strongly requesting physio, & yes, engage with your husband's GP to ensure this, may, slower than it should have been, turn things around.

Again, as above, you need the support of your GP to help you in continuing to fight now for the best care of your husband.....you need to look after you both.