Invisible disability leads us to a very big problem

amro

Hi everybody does anyone facing a problems like me because our disability is invisible !! when I use a disables chairs or wc or any places that is special for disables people or places saying Priority for disabled special at airports or Public transport or hospital.

Do you think is better if we wear something like hand bracelet from nhs instead of showing our ID card After the abuse and  embarrassment we got from others who think disabled person have to be in a wheelchair .they don’t Believe in invisible disability.

amro

Thank you for your your comments. 

That’s what I am saying if you use any disability aid you are fine you will get all the respect you deserve But if you not using your walking stick then you will see what I am talking about and the disrespect from some people .

MissMarple

I always assume that the person means well, and is actually trying to keep the parking space/toilet etc. free for people who need them. Yes, it is ignorance to assume that every disability is visible, and they shouldn't be rude about it. If you find it hard to ignore their ignorance or educate them, it might be worth wearing a sunflower lanyard or something similar.

I am no longer able to go out without a wheelchair, but I sometimes get up from it when it is easier (high curb etc.) You can imagine the looks I get sometimes. 

Danielle_2022

Hi there @amro,
I would like to echo what others have said and recommend getting a sunflower lanyard. It's not easy because there's such a lack of education around what it means to be disabled (I happen to be a permanent wheelchair user, so I fit the general idea) but I want to remind you that your experiences are valid and you don't owe anyone else an explanation for it.

Another issue is if you're young and use a walking stick or something similar, there's often the assumption that you don't need it. Although these are big things that can't be fixed overnight, I hope you'll feel represented by content creators like Hannah Witton or Ru of chr0nicallycute: see here and here.

amro

This is what I mean people look at you like you pretended you are disable when you don’t use the aids they don’t know how much you go through every day with your health conditions.

Danielle_2022

I can't even begin to imagine how frustrating that must be to experience and it's unfortunately not something that a lot of people will ever properly understand, since they don't take the time to get educated. However, just because they don't understand doesn't make it any less real. We see you, we believe you and you can always come back here, if you find yourself needing to vent about it

MissMarple

I second Danielle as in you don't owe the people who challenge you an explanation and you don't have to prove your disability to them. If what you mentioned in your post happens regularly though, you may wish to have a strategy for your own sake. This can be a lanyard, a go-to phrase of an answer, whatever you feel might help in the situation.

MissMarple

Username_removed said:

It’s very much true people don’t understand that not all aids or appliances are a 100% of the time thing. All white canes are a choice for example. When I use mine will vary. 

That said I’m not a fan of lanyards. They are an unwanted label and no more comprehensible to the majority than anything else. I no more want someone staring at my chest than I have to stare at theirs.

I used to work with Hannah Wilton’s mother until about 2 years ago.

I'm not a big fan of lanyards either for the same reason. But it doesn't have to be worn all the time. I pop it on just before I want to use a facility/ask for adjustments then put it in my bag afterwards. Some staff had training and recognise them.

amro

I think I have to get one and use it when I travel instead of get in argument all the time . Probably will make my days better. Thank you all for letting me know about those things that I can wear to show I am disabled. 

Danielle_2022

@mikehughescq,
I totally see your point around the lanyards. Maybe we could invent something else instead . I first became aware of Hannah's work a few years ago, when I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I think it's so cool that you used to work with her mum!

@amro,
Some advice that I was given a while ago -- you have to prepare yourself for other people to be rude and mean, similar to what @MissMarple said. Someone once told me to practise in the mirror: how would I react if someone said [example]? The second step is to remind myself, out loud, that these comments aren't a true reflection of me. It helps a lot. I try to make jokes wherever possible, too. Good luck out there!

Danielle_2022

@mikehughescq,
Hahaha! Noted. Thanks for brightening my afternoon, at least

JenF

Don't argue, just insist. You do not owe anyone an explanation. It probably is worth wearing the lanyard, it helps with people who are basically of good will but a bit ignorant. Staff in many shops for example, will accept the lanyard because their managers have told them too.
My daughter is seriously but invisibly disabled, and has to use a long cane to navigate difficult situations. On one occasion and within her hearing, a small child asked 'Mummy, why is that lady using a white stick?' No problem with that, it was the answer that was so upsetting. 'Well, she might not be able to see very well. Or she might just be pretending to get attention.' The levels of prejudice are stunning at times, and being passed on to the next generation. I think this sort of think only affects younger disabled people - so more discrimination against them. (See housing threads for the worst examples.)