Hi, my name is Karenjn!

Karenjn

I am 48 years old and have not long learnt that I am deformed.
I have no friends and am single, obviously.  I've lived where I live for many years now and alot of the people here are very stuck up and whatever activity I do, I never meet anyone.  
That's my discussion. Karenjn 

Alex_Alumni

Hello and welcome @Karenjn thanks for posting and joining the community today

I hope we can help you to feel less isolated here on the community, as I know you are not alone in struggling with this feeling.

It can be very challenging to have a new diagnosis at any stage of life, and it can take a time to come to terms with it and to feel comfortable with ourselves and our bodies. Sometimes it might never feel possible, but with the right support around you it is possible to build up some self-love, confidence, and acceptance.

I know it might be difficult to talk about, but can explain what you mean by 'deformed'? I worry that's quite a critical way to describe yourself, so perhaps if we know a little more we can help you find a kinder word to use.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely where you're living, what sorts of activities have you been doing?

Joining this community is a really positive step, you can definitely get to know our members and make new friends here. The Coffee lounge is the best place to start, it's where you can chat and play games. Take a look whenever you're ready.

If you'd like to ask any questions please do, and I look forward to seeing you around the forum.

Alex

Karenjn

Hi

Thanks for your comments but I do not really have a diagnosis or disablement but my boobs are a little deformed and I have a one inch gap between them and not a good shape but are the same size.  Was born with them and after approx 46 years, have just realised.  Everyone here makes me feel like an outsider and I have lived here the longest.  Some are very stuck up too.  Have not made one friend here that's how stuck up they are. 

poppy123456

I wouldn't call a one inch gap between breasts as being deformed. I'm sure you're not the only person to have this, i know i do. Do i call myself deformed? absolutely not.

Jo_2022

Hi @Karenjn!  Welcome to the community. It’s lovely to have you. Thank you for reaching out. I am sorry to hear about your situation, and hope you find a true friend. Have you thought about joining a Social Group to meet new people? 

Alex_Alumni

Hi again @Karenjn thank you for explaining, I know that might have been difficult to say, so we appreciate that you have said, and we don't judge you for it. 

Every woman's breasts are different in terms of size, shape and consistency. It's also possible for one breast to be larger than the other. This does not mean that any woman's breasts are 'wrong' or 'deformed' in any way. This variety is a part of life, and something to be celebrated.

Who is to say what is a good shape/size or a bad shape/size? Has anyone told you that they aren't a good shape?

Can I ask when the last time you checked your breasts was, or if you've had a check up at the GP's recently? You should always see a GP if you have any concerns, or if you breasts have changed shape or size, or your skin has changed for example. 

Everyone here makes me feel like an outsider and I have lived here the longest.  Some are very stuck up too.  Have not made one friend here that's how stuck up they are. 

I'd just like to make sure I understand this last part. When you say 'here' do you mean where you are living now, or the online community? 

If anything doesn't make sense, please do let me know, and I hope you find this helpful.

Karenjn

Hi

Thanks for your reply. 

Yes they have insulted me a few times regarding my breasts that's why I'm single I think.  And it just seems everywhere I go there are women with large perfect breasts and even on tv.  It's just seems I'm the only one that's not perfect or even near to it.  I do and have done alot of activities, swimming, gym, now cycling long distances which I enjoy and I never seem to meet anyone.  When I have met a couple of people, they are always taken from me by other people that spread rumours about me and portray me as something I'm not.  
I'm quite a fit person but my breasts aren't that perfect.  But not just that I never meet any friends or anyone and I love the outdoors and activities and people. There is someone I like alot and he makes me smile and happy when I see him but we are not in touch. 

Anyway where I live it's not a community as it should be, it's not friendly at all. 

Hope your well. 

Thanks. 

Karenjn

I've joined groups, activity groups, still there is no one for me. Strange. 

Karenjn

Hi,  I'm somewhat pleased that I'm not the only one.   It's just I didn't know how to explain it. Thanks. 

Tori_Scope

I'm really sorry to hear that people have insulted you because of your breasts @Karenjn. A phrase I often find helpful in these sorts of situation is 'the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind'. In my view, if someone's the kind of person to care about something like the shape or placement of your breasts, then they're not someone I'd like to be friends with or date. Does that resonate with you at all? 

When I have met a couple of people, they are always taken from me by other people that spread rumours about me and portray me as something I'm not.  

I'm also sorry to hear that people have spread unpleasant rumours about you, as that's never a nice feeling. Do you mind me asking what kind of rumours they spread? Have you ever considered speaking to them about it?

I've joined groups, activity groups, still there is no one for me. Strange. 

It can take time to meet the right person and, though it's cliche to say, it can often happen at the time you least expect it. You've mentioned that there's someone you like, but that you're not in touch. Could you perhaps ask him for his number or another way of getting in touch with him next time you see him?