Hi, my name is kcroucher!

kcroucher

Hello everyone I'm new to this so please bare with me today I received my pip award letter i was awarded for standard daily living but nothing for mobility on the letter where it shows you the points I feel like I should have been scored on these and also for mobility.

I'm 33 I havnt left my house in over a year due to pain unless to the hospital for the past couple of years I've suffered with depression now with my physical health I'm now scared when I go to the hospital I take panic attacks I don't like people coming to my house to visit unless my mum and dad who help me with tasks I make up excuses to my friends I over think every single thing I have took an over dose during the lockdown as I didn't want to living another day in pain I have had several operations on both legs and I'm now waiting to get both hips and knees replaced also had my left kidney removed I now have bladder issues but because of pain I'm in I won't travel twice a week for treatment which is a 200 ood mile road trip I scored zero for managing treatment which I don't understand my mum has to do my medication as I was forgetting to take them or taking to much. Also scored zero for mixing with others which I disagree with I dont have a mental health worker because to be honest I can't be bothered with this is due to my low mood I get so overwhelmed cause I see so many different professionals im on antidepressants tho I feel suicidal every day but i don't want to speak about  it to anyone i find it hard to talk about my sadness When reading the report I felt they have lied on it couple of times basically said I was fine during the phone call I cried the whole time on it I felt sick the lady said 3 times will we continue this so I did continue wanted it over with the weeks before the phone call appointment I was upset sick felt sick very angry and wasn't going to go a head with it kept overthinking evey thing but my mum and dad spoke with me and said that I'm entitled to it do I phone up pip and ask for an MR or just be grateful I recieved anything from them 
 I would be grateful for any advice 

Alex_Alumni

Hello there @kcroucher and welcome to the community, thank you for reaching out today, that takes a lot of strength. 

I'm really sorry to hear about the way you've been feeling lately, and what has happened over the last year. You mention seeing many different professionals, can you tell me what support you're getting at the moment for your mental health?

I'd like to share some organisations which can help support you with suicidal feelings, so please reach out to them if you ever feel you need to:

• Call Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org

• Text 'SHOUT' to 85258

• Read Mind's information on how to cope with suicidal feelings

I'll be emailing you from community@scope.org.uk soon to check in and offer additional support, so please do keep an eye out for it.

I'm also sorry to hear that your PIP application didn't go the way you were expecting. One of the best things to do in terms of next steps is to search on AdviceLocal for a professional adviser.

If you feel you'd like to challenge the decision Turn2Us explains the options for you but if you have any questions then you can always contact the Scope Helpline by phone or email if you prefer.

We'd like to support you as much as we can, so if you feel we can do anything else to help, please do ask. You've mentioned it's difficult for you to talk about your sadness, and you've been open and honest about the impact everything's having on you at the moment, which is a very positive thing. 

Keep us updated with how you get on, and know that you are not alone in this feeling.

Alex

kcroucher

Thank u Alex for getting back and sharing for helpful things I've had probelsm since I was 10years old with my legs and kidney last couple of years I noticed I'm not me any more I have no life I sit in the house all day every day unless I go to see about my legs I'm waiting to get new hips and new knees also been told I have arthritis on my back. I find it reallt hard to talk about how I feel etc mentally when I was in hospital the mental health phoned me I said I was fine (I wasn't fine just wasn't home ) the mental health nurse has foned but to be honest I've no energy to speak and a dont want to waste there time so I don't answer mt fone but now I suffer from panic attacks I ocerthink the worst my mum and dad for years told me to apply for pip but I wouldn't then when I got news I need all these things done I would the run up to the fone call appointment I was all over the place and the day before I wasn't going to bother answering my fone but my mum and dad had a chat 
And tryed to reassure me  today I  recieved my letter but my mum wasn't happy with the points I scored also on the report from the fone call I noticed some lies on it but I don't no what to do 

But I can't thank u enough for taking your time to read my post and get back to me 

Alex_Alumni

That's okay @kcroucher thanks for explaining. Believe me, you are not a waste of time and you have every right to reach out for support

We're all here to support you, and to listen. Take things step by step, and please do ask if you need a hand with anything further. Don't feel rushed to reply to my email, but if you feel we can offer you additional support, just let us know.