No hope

Seeking123

I'm feeling so down and can't see a way forward. 
I am in receipt of high rate mobility PIP and ESA (awaiting assessment) and the occupational therapist referred me to the local council as I need a walk in shower. As I own my house I was told to put in for a disabled facilities grant which I did. Yesterday after a number of weeks this was cancelled as they seemed I could afford to pay for it myself.
I have not worked or been able to clean myself properly for over 12 months and no-one seems to care.
I have been in tears for the last 2 days and have talked about suicide as I have become a burden. It all just seems so hopeless.

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community 

I'm sorry for what you are going through and jnderstand your upset about it 

If you are feeling desperate and need to talk you can contact the samaritans or if you are not safe then call 999

SueHeath

Morning @Seeking123 this sadens me to read your post.
Stay with us please you never know you might pick up tips etc.
There are a lot of people on this forum and i am sure you will connect with a few, no one is a burden we just sometimes need to see things differently.

poppy123456

Seeking123 said:

Yesterday after a number of weeks this was cancelled as they seemed I could afford to pay for it myself.

I note from another thread that your ESA is New style ESA. Do you live with a partner that works? Do you have any savings?

Do you currently have access to a bath? If so, the OT can provide you with an electric bath seat, i was provided with one of these from my OT some years ago.

Alex_Alumni

Hello @Seeking123 and thank you for reaching out last night, I hope you've found the community to be a welcoming and supportive place, and know that you are certainly not a burden. 

There is always help out there, and you've taken a really positive step forward by sharing how you're feeling. Do you feel safe at the moment? And is there anyone you're close to nearby who you can talk to or who can be with you?

I'd like to share a few organisations which can help support you with how you're feeling:

• Call or email Samaritans on 116 123 or jo@samaritans.org
• Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 anytime
• Read Mind's information about understanding suicidal feelings
• Visit Hub of Hope to find mental health support services near you

As our members have said, if you do ever feel like you are unsafe then please call 999 right away. 

Regarding your walk in shower I would encourage you to stay in contact with your OT and ask about challenging your council's decision, and see about searching on AdviceLocal for professional advice or perhaps contacting Citizens Advice as well. 

We'd like to support you as much as we are able to, and I'll be emailing you from community@scope.org.uk a little later on today, so please do keep an eye out for it.

Let us know if you feel we can help with anything further, and know that we are here to support you.

Alex

Seeking123

@poppy123456 I do have a partner that works full time on nights and we have no savings between us. The money he earns goes on bills and food. I have rang ESA today as I haven't had my assessment yet. Both mine and the doctor report went back to them in February but they said I'm in the queue and just have to wait. We do have a bath but OT haven't mentioned a bath lift. They were the ones who told me to ring ESA as I need an 'access' benefit to return to the council with. I just spend my time fighting for everything and I've run out of reserves to keep doing it.

Seeking123

@Alex_Scope I have my partner and parents who I can talk too and they realise how much I'm struggling. It's those I feel the burden for. My partner works then had to assist me as well. I'm only receiving £300 a month from ESA as my PIP has gone on a Motability car so financially I feel a burden too.
I have talked about suicide but am not in danger and would talk to Samaritans if I needed to. 
The OT said they couldn't get involved in the council's decision and asked if I got PIP care component - I only got 7 points so don't - then to contact ESA to see if I could be assessed. 
I have just lost my fight and I can't keep doing it.
I thank you for your concern and advice.

janer1967

I have an electric bath chair as well supplied by my ot you should speak to them and ask about one it's a far cheaper solution than the adaption 

Seeking123

@janer1967 I will ask about it thank you because at the moment I can't get in or out the bath and I need my partner to be with me incase I fall. I am a large lady would that matter?

poppy123456

Seeking123 said:

They were the ones who told me to ring ESA as I need an 'access' benefit to return to the council with.

The issue with this is New style ESA is not means tested, It's based on your NI contributions from working in the previous 2 tax years.  Which is why you're entitled to claim it when your partner is working full time. Therefore, sending your ESA letter to them isn't really going to help you.

I would speak to your OT again and ask about the bath lift because this can really help you.

janer1967

I am a larger lady too my bath lift holds up to 20 stone but I think you can get different weight limits for them . I wouldn't be without mine I would even buy one if I hadn't had it supplied 

They can be bought at disability aid shops but try the ot route first so you don't have to pay and if supplied by them it gets serviced and replaced and also seen as approved aid for pip claims