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Feel incredibly low about my situation

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bluefox
bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
Hello all,

I am struggling with my mental health. I was diagnosed with Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder at the end of 2020. Since then my mental health has been poor and my anxiety and depression which has always been there has got worse. 

Anyway just recently I had an OH appointment with my company and she almost shamed me for not taking anti-depressants for my conditions. I have tried therapy, CBT and counselling and it's not been an instant success. I imagine she thinks my recovery should be quick but it's not successful for every person or for some it may take time. So why should I be shamed for my timescale in recovery?

I took her comments quite literally and started taking my prescribed anti-depressant and now I feel like a living zombie. I've been off work for over a year and I'm awaiting an ADHD/Autism screen too, as my DR said the type of seizures I have are common for ADHD/ASD and I'm exhibiting signs and symptoms of those conditions.

I also recently wanted to get an active problems list from my GP surgery and I can't see agoraphobia listed. But yet I've told them countless times that leaving the house causes panic attacks or induces fear of having a seizure. I have been working with a therapist to overcome this but to my surprise it wasn't listed.

I'm at the point where I know I'll probably get dismissed from my job and I'm getting help from friendly people at the job centre who have offered to help in the future when I'm better but I can't help but thinking about the OH shaming me. She even shamed me for waiting for a diagnosis of ADHD/ASD and I replied: if I have those conditions it will explain a huge part of my life where I've known something wasn't up including masking behaviours as discussed with my counsellor.

Anyway, I'm rambling on... finding this part of my life really difficult.



Comments

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,506 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @sierrafox :)

    Firstly, you haven't rambled at all- don't worry! I'm really sorry to hear that the occupational therapist made you feel shamed in regards to how long it's taking you to recover, and that you perhaps felt pressured to start taking anti-depressant medication. Nobody should be made to feel this way, as everyone take a different amount of time to start feeling better, and different treatment options work for different people. 

    Have you mentioned the side effects of your medication to your GP (or whoever prescribed them)? It's quite normal to feel a bit zombie-like, especially at the beginning, but it may be that changing the dosage or switching to a different medication could be a better option for you. It may also be worth mentioning to the doctor that you felt a bit pressured to start taking them. If you decide you'd like to stop taking them, you should do this with the support of your doctor so that you can do it safely. 

    I'm not sure why they might not have listed agoraphobia on the list. Has your GP referred you to a psychiatrist for a more detailed assessment? 

    You also shouldn't have been shamed for seeking a diagnosis for ADHD or ASD. There's unfortunately quite a lot of stigma around both of these conditions, but it's worth getting checked out if you feel as though you can relate to the symptoms. 

    I'm glad that you've been accessing some talking therapy, and hope that you've been finding it helpful.

    I think that we missed an email from you last month, so I'll do my best to reply to that this afternoon :)

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  • bluefox
    bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
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    Hello,

    Thank you for your e-mail and I'll respond also here. 

    You're completely right. Everybody is different and it's took me a long time to get to the point where I even feel comfortable leaving the house accompanied by someone. I'm still not at the point of independence where I feel confident or safe to do so by myself and I have explained this to my GP.

    I have mentioned the side effects but one particular doctor told me I need to get my depression/anxiety under control in order to stop the NEAD. I'm not so keen on taking medication for mental health, as it usually exerts it's effects on the cardiac system. I've tried anti-depressants and beta-blockers in the past and I'm not a big fan. Psychological support is better I believe in the form of therapy. I am due to have psychotherapy in a few months.

    I'm not sure why they haven't listed agoraphobia either. As I suffer with panic attacks, as well as NEAD. And the two combined give me the phobia symptoms. It is very strange, maybe it's worth another mention tomorrow. Maybe they're assuming help from the neuropsychiatrist will be helpful rather than a separate psychiatrist? I'm not sure........

    You are right. I shouldn't be ashamed, as if I do have ADHD or ASD and it is the cause of these seizures or the functional neurological disorder I'm struggling with, then that would explain huge chunks of my life where I've struggled with high anxiety, high impatience etc and so on. 

    My physical health has also been much worse too because of my mental health. Suffering with widespread pain now and my eating habits, the overeating and undereating has messed with my weight. I'm currently overeating. I don't touch alcohol or drugs or anything like that. 







  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Afternoon @sierrafox

    How are you getting on? I hope you have had a nice weekend so far :) 

    Thank you for your most recent comment above, I'm happy to hear that you will be starting therapy soon and I hope that it turns out to be really beneficial for you :) You'll have to keep us updated about how you get on with it.
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