Friendliness of people in public

66Mustang

I just had a good experience today and it made me think about creating a topic.

Do you appreciate friendliness in people you meet, or does it not bother you?

Imagine you were at the supermarket. Would you rather have an unfriendly but efficient person serving you who got you in and out quickly, or a friendly but slightly slower person who meant you were there for a few minutes longer?

For me it makes a difference - I prefer people to be friendly. I understand that may be shallow of me because the friendliness may be false but as someone with social anxiety it makes me feel a little bit less uncomfortable when I am forced to interact.

That said, there was a doctor at my surgery well known for his bluntness and for being short with people. If my regular doctor was unavailable I’d always choose him because he was a great doctor and incredibly efficient.

I had a delivery today and the driver was really friendly but got the job done very quickly as well so I got the best of both worlds!

What about you…?

Ross_Alumni

Always friendliness I think, as you say it can really help to make people feel more comfortable, especially in potentially sensitive situations like at the doctors.

Alex_Alumni

Friendliness always makes that little positive difference to me

Admittedly it might not be helpful if you're in a rush, but it's much better than a rude or unhelpful person. I find bad experiences can have a habit of sticking with you for quite some time.

Equally though, when you're not expecting friendliness, and someone goes above and beyond, you never forget it!

janer1967

I personally don't like idle chit chat when being served in a shop though would expect them to be polite 

Biblioklept

I adore my doctor who is quite to the point and blunt but a brilliant doctor. But I agree I do like the extra friendliness and those who make an effort in public. I have social anxiety too and always questioning where I stand with people and over thinking interactions so when someone makes an effort to be friendly it helps me know they're not judging me or secretly hating me.
It just brightens the whole day too which I'm sure means I'm then nicer in my next interaction and maybe they then are too.

leeCal

When out walking in the countryside I’ve noticed that people are friendlier and will often acknowledge you whereas in towns people usually ignore you and get on with their business. I think it’s because in a one to one situation it would be deemed rude not to say hi etc, whereas in towns there are just too many people to say hello to. Having said that I have an elderly friend who does try to say hello to quite a few people in his town.

Friendliness is oil to the social engine, it helps the cogs whir nicely. 😊

Grinchy

i like friendlier interactions with people, i have anxiety to, and someone just being nice and courteous really helps, there are a lot of shared illness on this forum, good to see i am not alone in my thoughts and feelings 

Biblioklept

I don't like when it's really fake though such as when you go into a small shop and they're all over you instant you walk in door and you feel like you're being watched. And I know they're just being friendly and are told to do it but it still makes me feel awkward

66Mustang

@leeCal I’ve noticed exactly the same thing - when in the countryside people will often acknowledge you but in town usually not. I never thought about why, though.

I don’t like to sound snobby but I guess also you get a certain kind of person in the countryside. I’m not talking about class or money just a certain type of attitude.

Maybe the countryside and leaving the stresses of the town behind also calms people down so they are happier to talk to each other?

66Mustang

@janer1967 I have to agree with you there, I’m not keen on chit chat either. I think my situation with the delivery man today was a perfect example, he was really friendly but very quick at doing his job and didn’t stop to chat.

However, looking at it from the shop worker’s point of view, they can’t read everyone’s mind and know what each individual wants. There is a fine line before being too friendly and it is in a different position with each person.

janer1967

I agree @66Mustang

I was a manager in retail for 30 years and at one time staff were trained to interact with customers fir every transaction and there tills were monitored to show how long they took between scanning items to make sure they were interacting 

They also had mystery shopper checks to make sure they greeted said by and interacted 

It is not easy to judge if the customer wants to interact in this way and shouldn't be forced 

leeCal

I have a family member who works on a checkout. They crack jokes with everyone constantly. Some people think it’s great but it drives a few of them crazy apparently. Personally, a smile and hello is enough for me, I can get jokes from lots of other places if that’s what I fancy. In a supermarket I just want to gather my stuff and leave ASAP.