Support for pre-teen with CP

katieandmax

Hello, I am looking for some advice on how to help my 12 year old son who has mild CP. He started year 7 in September and he has become withdrawn and very self conscious. Whilst I understand this is normal tween behaviour - he has started to speak very negatively about having CP (which has never been a big deal before) and being late to school/walking a long way to school so people 'don't look at his walking'. I've tried to get him to speak to the ELSA at school/an online teen CP forum however he does not want to do anything and just says he's fine. Anyone else been in a similar position or any advice how to deal with this? Hoping its just a phase. Thank you  

Alex_Alumni

Hello @katieandmax and thanks for reaching out today. 

I can speak from my own experience of mainstream school as someone with mild CP. It was very difficult at times, especially when dealing with other classmate's impressions of me, and how my own feelings developed and changed as a result.

Sometimes these would be questions about why I sometimes walked and sometimes used a chair, or comments that I must be faking or lazy, or not attractive. I appreciate every child experiences school differently of course, but addressing any bullying or discrimination is very important, which isn't always something schools can do well. 

Towards the end of primary school and into secondary school I felt more and more negative about my CP, and built up a lot of internalised ableism during my teenage years as a result. As I've grown up, I've been able to unpack that, but it can take time.

Something which has helped me a great deal has been learning about the social model of disability which might be helpful to look into  

Does your son get any support during the school day from learning support at all? I didn't realise at the time, but apart from supporting me with getting around and writing in class, the team also provided structured emotional support, and mental health support- as much as they could considering the number of pupils which needed support.

It might be worth contacting IPSEA if you wanted to look into structured support, or Scope has information and advice on helping your child with motivation and confidence in school as well as what to do when your child is being bullied at school which I hope is helpful for you. 

Please let me know if you feel unsure about anything, or if we can help further, and keep us updated with how you and your son get on.

Alex

Joe_and_Dad

Hi @katieandmax , I've just seen your post and joined the forum to reply! My boy Joe has mild diplegia, he's just turned 11. He's really keen to get to know some other kids in his position, most of the groups/sports we've tried locally (Surrey) are mixed disability and for whatever reason there never seem to be other kids of his age with mild physical conditions. He does a lot of 'mainstream' able-bodied clubs and groups (swimming, theatre), but is starting to become disheartened and self-conscious about how his condition makes him stand out or not do what the others are doing. I hope your son is finding his place and his tribe at school, it would be great if there was a way to connect kids like ours who are in a similar position so they can share their experiences and feel less isolated. I imagine that Joe will go through something similar in September when he starts secondary school. Sorry I can't offer any advice, but I do wonder if there is a way kids like ours can support each other socially in ways that us parents can't?