A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

life

one of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan. 

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Anyone with a better joke than this lol

leeCal

Man goes to an ironmongers and says “ I want a pound of nails please”, 
the assistant says “how long do you want Them?”
man says “forever.”

leeCal

Jokes don’t do very well on this forum, @Biblioklept I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because it’s written down rather than said, don’t know. There’s been quite a few attempts to have a running thread containing jokes but they all fizzle out quite quickly.

This was voted funniest religious joke ever, it’s by Emo Phillips;

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

leeCal

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge?



footprints in the butter.

life

Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. 😂😂