I think my daughter has autism

kbel88

Hello, my lovely daughter is 8 years old. I have been fighting for nearly 3 years trying to get her an assessment ( drs said it was schools responsibility, school promised twice they had sent referral then turned out they hadn’t) I know in my heart something is wrong but not sure what. She has now been referred but I’m worried she won’t even get an assessment. I filled out the SCQ and I think it scored 16/17. Communication is not the biggest problem so I’m doubting if she will be seen…

she has sensory problems, she cannot wear socks, only certain clothes (will not wear school uniform) she can’t have a towel any where near her. Even as a toddler she hated wearing clothes and pretty much lived in just a nappy. She wants ‘tight cuddles’ all the time. She cannot sit still at home, has to be jumping and crashing into everything, she watches tv hanging upside down and spinning round and round. She chews absolutely everything and will not stop eating. I know kids always want a snack but she can eat a big meal and straight after be crying that she’s hungry. She picks the skin off her feet and is always chewing her fingers.

She has a room full of toys but doesn’t really play with them. She will occasionally play dolls with her cousin but she just copies what she does and then the next time will have to be exactly the same way they played it, she enjoyes board games but can’t bare losing but her favourite is making things- painting, cutting things out, kinetic sand etc. 

she is obsessed with snakes, will watch the same video over and over again and knows every fact about them, she also is obsessed by time. She asks how many more minutes till … constantly and if I say 10 she will count to 60 ten times. She always says for example it’s ‘10 dot dot 38’ she collects lol dolls but not to play with, she does have rituals for example can not take a mouthful of her dinner untill the tv is on, she has to count to 8 when brushing each side of her teeth. She doesn’t cope with change well which will either result in tantrums or being extra over the top with her sensory seeking. In shops she if a shelf is messy she will line up all the toys for them. 

she has major tantrums where she just explodes and is like she has no control over herself, she will hit and kick me and hurt herself - last year she took a knife from the drawer and said she was going to kill herself. She always says she wants to die and hates herself and she says she doesn’t feel like ‘normal’ kids- the tantrums are getting less because I try so hard to avoid things I know will set her off, my lounge now looks like a soft play, she has a trampoline a crash mat, spin board so she can get all her energy out.

At school she is no problem but to be honest I think they just don’t notice her, she is so shy and her reports are always ‘ L*** is very shy, she needs to use a louder voice’  she is very bright but if she’s not sure what she’s meant to do will just sit there and do nothing- she needs a lot of reassurance. She does have friends though, but if we have all took the girls out together she always seems to be the one left out. I watched her in the park the other day and she was just walking around talking to herself. She’s been going to gymnastics since she was 2 and never made a friend untill a girl from her school started this year. 

She does communicate well I think though is just painfully shy. She often whispers to me what she wants to tell someone else and I have to say it. And when she is comfortable with someone (usually adults) she is chatty and can be over the top and won’t leave them alone to the point where she’s annoying them. 

I’m sorry for such a long post and if you e made it this far, thankyou. but I’m so confused, all the things I’ve read on line focus a lot on communication. I know only a dr can diagnose her but am I right to push for this assessment or will they think I’m just wasting there time, I feel like I’m over analysing everything she does as a symptom.

Tori_Scope

Hi @kbel88 Welcome to the community! Thank you for joining, and for being so open and honest in your first post here. There's no need to apologise for writing a long post. It sounds as though you've got a lot on your plate at the moment. 

We're not medical professionals, so we wouldn't be able to say whether your daughter has autism or not. That being said, it does sound as though she's facing some challenges at the moment, and that this is affecting the both of you. We have plenty of members who have autism here on the community, so they may be able to provide some insight into the process for you. 

I'd like to think that the doctor wouldn't see it as you wasting their time. It may well be that she has autism but, even if she doesn't, crossing something off of the list as it were can be a positive step in finding out what's causing your daughter to feel and behave this way, and what support she may be able to access. 

You may be interested in accessing one of our family services at some point, if that's something you'd find helpful. 

I'm going to send you an email from community@scope.org.uk shortly, so please keep an eye out for that