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Nervous about work meeting

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bluefox
bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
Hello,

I know I’ve continually posted. I have depression, anxiety and functional neurological disorder / non epileptic attack disorder. But I can’t help but feeling nervous about my capability meeting. 

I’ve always struggled with my anxiety and low mood but it was ten times worse following my FND / NEAD diagnosis. But I found a fantastic doctor who is sending me for autism and ADHD screens to see if this lifelong problem is linked to a different problem. 

I’m currently in receipt of benefits such as ESA, UC and PIP. But I constantly worry about being an imposter because of mental health stigma and FND/NEAD carries stigma too. 

I have worked with my company for nearly two decades and I’ve been in frequent contact with a disability employment advisor. I’ve been told even if I lose this job they can help with IPES or restart programme eventually. 

Being on benefits has made me feel awful tbh and my work meeting is this week. I’m probably going to lose the job even though I’ve asked for access to work to support me with mental health etc. 

My employer doesn’t seem to want to budge on the hours of me working. I don’t think working nights is healthy for someone with my conditions if I’m honest. Even if that was my previous role. 

I feel at an all time low with my mental health haven’t worked since age 18. 

Comments

  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,562 Disability Gamechanger
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    Good morning @sierrafox and well done for reaching out and sharing your worries with the community. I'm sorry to hear how low you're feeling, and how nervous you are about this meeting this week.

    Just so that I understand fully, you've mentioned you haven't worked since age 18, and that you've been working with your company for nearly two decades, do you mean a particular type of work?

    It's really good to hear that you've got a fantastic doctor, and that you're in frequent contact with a disability employment adviser, have you spoken to the adviser about how you've been feeling?

     I’m probably going to lose the job even though I’ve asked for access to work to support me with mental health etc. 
    I'm sorry to read that you're worried about losing your job. Has your employer talked about what they'd like to discuss with you at all? For the capability meeting this week, it might help to ask your employer directly:
    • What the meeting is for
    • What will be discussed
    • What will happen moving forward

    Explaining how you're feeling anxious might help them understand that they need to be clearer with you, if you feel like details will help ease your anxieties. It might be that these details will only add to your anxiety, so please do what feels right for you. 

    You say you've asked for Access to Work, how far has that progressed? 
    My employer doesn’t seem to want to budge on the hours of me working. I don’t think working nights is healthy for someone with my conditions if I’m honest. 
    When you say your employer doesn't seem to want to budge on the hours, is this something they've told you directly, or in writing? Or is it something you have a feeling about?

    If you can, be clear with them about your concerns with working nights. This meeting could also be your opportunity to tell your employer on record:
    • What helps you feel comfortable in work
    • How working nights makes you feel
    • What support you need (e.g. Access to Work)

    Do you think it would help to have a trusted colleague or perhaps your disability employment adviser present at the meeting for support? I know this isn't always possible, but it might be worth chasing up.

    I hope this is helping in some way, as I understand how difficult it is to put your anxieties to rest. Remember to speak to your GP, or your mental health team for support too, especially if you feel you're struggling.

    Let us know if we've missed anything or can support you further :)
    Online Community Coordinator
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  • bluefox
    bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
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    Hello,

    I have worked for 18 years there and since the age of 18. 

    I know a lot of members on here have said focus on my health. I am scared. 
  • bluefox
    bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
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    Some of my friends are saying push through, it’s all psycho somatic etc. 
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,562 Disability Gamechanger
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    I don't think anyone can claim to know what's behind anyone's health condition or understand the causes, especially if they aren't medical professionals. It's only you who can really know that impact of your conditions on how you feel day to day @sierrafox

    It's your lived experience, so these feelings and experiences are entirely valid. Hopefully not all of your friends are telling you to "push through", so reach out to those around you who understand this.

    It can be scary when we don't know what's going to happen, I understand. If you can, lean on close friends or family this week. The support of people you know and trust can really help. And you know the community is here for you too.
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  • bluefox
    bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
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    I think ultimately I’m going to lose the job but I’m worried I’ll never find one ever again or end up doing something wrong on benefits or something. 
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,562 Disability Gamechanger
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    Remember, nothing is set in stone @sierrafox there's lots of directions things could go, and a lot of them are positive. 

    I can see you struggle with catastrophising, and that's because of your anxiety. You might feel like you need to keep worrying because it feels useful – or that bad things might happen if you stop.

    If you can, try to stay present, and focus on small chunks of your day. Think about what's for dinner later, what you'd like to do to wind down this evening, or who you might want to talk to :) Keep yourself busy and physically active, whatever you need to help manage things.
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  • bluefox
    bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
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    I’m not sure I’m well enough to go back to working nights. But ultimately losing my job feels like a huge shame. It’s like I’m undecided. I feel afflicted. 
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,983 Disability Gamechanger
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    It sounds like you are having a tough time trying to juggle work and your health @sierrafox. What would you say to a friend or loved one if they were experiencing this?

    I find it can often be easier to be nicer to other people than it can be ourselves. We are here for you if you want to talk it through with us  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
  • bluefox
    bluefox Community member Posts: 636 Pioneering
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    I’m not sure tbh

    I would probably say you need to focus on your health for sure. If work could aid your recovery, then by all means pick the right work. But don’t do something you don’t want to do kind of thing. 

    It’s a really tricky choice. 
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,983 Disability Gamechanger
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    I think you're doing really well @sierrafox. It sounds like you are aware that health comes before work. Though, as you say, it's easier said than done and quite tricky  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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