Extremely nervous about work meeting

bluefox

I have a work meeting this week in which I could be dismissed for capability based on my non epileptic seizures and mental health issues. 

I am petrified of going to the meeting and I’m already struggling to sleep and motivate myself. I’m waking up every day jittery and panicky. 

I’ve been off work for nearly two years now (which is increasing the shame I feel about my mental health). I feel like I’ll never get a job ever again. 

I know I’m LCWRA at the moment but if I switch to LCW. What would happen? How would I make ends meet?

I have so many worries for the future. 

- whether I should give this job a crack or walk away
- whether I should focus purely on my health and face the fear of the unknown later
- when I’m no longer LCWRA (I could still be) but if I’m LCW, I’m worried about the pressures put on me from scare stories I’ve heard 
- I’ve heard stories where they expect you to take any job.
- I feel like my life is spiralling out of control

Ross_Alumni

Afternoon @sierrafox

Thanks for posting this thread and for talking about how you feel.

Do you think it would help you to feel any better if you were to make some notes for the meeting? It seems as though the anticipation of not knowing what will happen during or after the meeting is causing you quite a bit of worry, so it might be worth noting down some points that you want to discuss during the meeting, or questions that you want to ask.

You could also consider getting some professional employment related advice from somewhere like ACAS. If you feel as though you aren't ready for the meeting, you could get in touch about potentially postponing it for another time, although I appreciate that you may feel this way regardless of when it happens.

What are your hobbies and interests? Perhaps it may be beneficial for your well-being for you to take some time away from considering these stressful situations and do something you enjoy. It's easy to allow our minds to become dominated by certain negative thoughts and feelings, so it's important to indulge in something that can be a distraction.

Do you have any loved ones who you can speak with? When I'm unsure about something, I find it helpful to talk through the situation with someone I know to see what they think. It can cause me to look at the issue in a different way, and worry a bit less about it knowing that I have people supporting me no matter what.

Mind have an information page here that covers a range of calming exercises, please do consider giving it a look and hopefully some of the techniques mentioned can be useful  

bluefox

Ross_Scope said:

Afternoon @sierrafox

Thanks for posting thisu thread and for talking about how you feel.

Do you think it would help you to feel any better if you were to make some notes for the meeting? It seems as though the anticipation of not knowing what will happen during or after the meeting is causing you quite a bit of worry, so it might be worth noting down some points that you want to discuss during the meeting, or questions that you want to ask.

You could also consider getting some professional employment related advice from somewhere like ACAS. If you feel as though you aren't ready for the meeting, you could get in touch about potentially postponing it for another time, although I appreciate that you may feel this way regardless of when it happens.

What are your hobbies and interests? Perhaps it may be beneficial for your well-being for you to take some time away from considering these stressful situations and do something you enjoy. It's easy to allow our minds to become dominated by certain negative thoughts and feelings, so it's important to indulge in something that can be a distraction.

Do you have any loved ones who you can speak with? When I'm unsure about something, I find it helpful to talk through the situation with someone I know to see what they think. It can cause me to look at the issue in a different way, and worry a bit less about it knowing that I 

Hello Ross,

I always try to make notes but my hand writing is so sketchy because of my dyspraxia. So I end up not being able to read what I’ve wrote (which is crazy). 

I know there’s 2 outcomes:
1 - return to work, though shift working is extremely difficult to return to given the apathy and fatigue I feel on a daily basis. 

2 - redeployment but I struggle with large crowds of people and social interactions can often trigger my severe anxiety. 

3 - capability dismissal and I leave the company I have worked for nearly two decades
4 - this leaves me with a daunting feeling about the future. Short-term life on benefits and the prospect of finding work in the future given my severe anxiety. 

5 - I worry about going from LCWRA - LCW - fit for work. Or not finding a job ever again. I believe there are some companies who will come to the interview with you and support you. That’s great news but I have to land the job myself. 

As for hobbies:

- I really like football. I love all the statistical stuff in football too. It suits my analytical brain. 

- Other than that I really enjoy writing and photography (though I don’t get out anymore to take photographs). 

- I enjoy gaming too and reading books. 

My loved ones, friends and family:

They are all encouraging me to give the job up as over the years it’s caused me to feel considerable stress and not much reward. They believe this is the time for a fresh start. But I don’t see the positivity going forward (maybe that’s part of my condition). I don’t know if working will make me better or worse. My fear is also having to reapply for benefits if I can’t hack it. Can I even hack it to begin with? Most days I can’t complete the simplest of tasks. Or it takes me all day to complete a task. I am working on this with my therapist who said I have time slots to achieve goals. But I always find my brain is distracted by different things. I’m very inattentive. 

Thank you for your kind support through this challenging time. If anyone else cares to share their thoughts I’d more than grateful. Even if it’s to offer a little reassurance or a success story. Perhaps share your own success story in this post. 

poppy123456

I realise it's part of your health condition but you don't help yourself by reading so many things on the internet. Some of the information you read or are given on other forums isn't even correct.

I can't think of any other advice that hasn't already been covered over several of your threads so there's nothing further to add.

Ross's advice about taking sometime away from these things maybe very helpful to you.

bluefox

I took some time away this weekend to distract myself and have woken up today feeling stressed again. 

The only thing I can say is, my reference from this employer is going to be absolutely awful despite working for them for nearly two decades. 

Tori_Scope

I'm glad that you took some time away to distract yourself @sierrafox That's really positive. What did you do to distract yourself? 

bluefox

Tori_Scope said:

I'm glad that you took some time away to distract yourself @sierrafox That's really positive. What did you do to distract yourself? 

Read my book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Tori_Scope

That sounds good @sierrafox What's the main thing you've learnt from the book so far?