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I lost my home due to benefits fraud, developed PTSD due to the process, and am so lost...

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FoolishMistakes
FoolishMistakes Community member Posts: 1 Listener
Basically, I went abroad for a vacation of a month to a love I found online in India, but she got pregnant. So, I stayed months longer to care for her and provide support - she lives in a slum and her conditions are awful. I was there, too, and the rats will bite your feet at night! However, as I wasn't at my address any more, which a relative was subletting to somebody without my knowledge, I was investigated for corporate fraud and being abroad. All my benefits were suspended, my arrears were in the thousands, and I was advised to surrender my property or else they would seek prosecution. My bank exchange was closed due to money laundering, too, so I couldn't transfer money during a medical emergency - my partner's father died... 


I applied for a visitor visa for my partner to come to the UK with me, so I could comfortably return, but it was declined. Again and again. Ultimately, I returned to the UK, attended an interview where I had to pay back £5000, and also be without any home to need emergency accommodation. My benefits were reinstated, but I'm nervous they will be stopped at any time, I have PTSD my whole life is at the mercy of these people - any basic survival. I've lost my home, I don't have my son or partner with me. Plus, they are absolutely dependent on my support, no matter how it's attained - it's literally them not eating or not. 

Now, immigration rules need me to have a home to apply for my partner and child to come here, apparently to show they'll be secure, but their current residence is much more dangerous - murder every other week, even from the police! So, even if it's temporary accommodation, I feel they'll be much more safe? I also don't currently have the money, too, to apply for a visa - it's over £2000!!! 

I can't visit my partner or child, too, or else l will have the original fraud problem in all probability... It's torture to be away from them... I also can't visit them, too, without being a criminal and all due to my foolish love originally! It's not possible, too, to bring them to the UK - immigration rules are not only tough and expensive, they are deliberately confusing. 

I know I'm bad, I've messed up, but nobody will employ me as another solution - I'm crazy to most people at first impression! Anxious, manic - when my mind isn't wandering to forget everything! I've had DLA all my time, most likely due to severe brain injury as a baby... How else am I supposed to be sure of money to protect and provide for my family? Nobody will employ me, I'm scared to even head outside or talk to anybody else!

You will think I'm a monster, I know, but I'm seriously lost at any other way to support my family. I can't bring them to the UK legally or reasonably, I can't go to India without fraud or embracing dangerous poverty (lacking money there is another situation entirely)... My mental health is awful, I feel I'm in a dilemma and it's all from original mistakes made while not of the most sound mind... 

For context, I have a plethora of mental conditions, which can affect my identity and sense of time, but I don't think these means I shouldn't have a family or seek love - no matter where that is!!! 

I'm willing to accept being without money and deprived of any dignity, another rotting corpse on the back streets, but what about my child? I'm having flashbacks he'll die like my father in law when they froze my money! My child is dependent on me, they could literally kill him from these decisions and it's all because I have no idea how to make money independently from only ever bring inside this system? 

What happened to support, too? I use to have so many therapists and psychiatrists, but this all changed as I turned 18. At least I never went out of my way to become a criminal and hurt people as my friends did? Thankfully, I isolated myself to avoid drugs, crime and other vices, but it seems I'm ultimately just as bad in other ways. 

I'm also paranoid the DWP are watching, always. They have given me paranoia, anxiety and vulnerability unlike anything else in my life - they are truly the powerful overlords who make or break my life! I always have nightmares and flashbacks to their investigation! 

Comments

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,508 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @foolishmistakes :) Welcome to the community. Thank you for posting here, and for being so open and honest with us.
     
    I'm sorry to hear things are so tough at the moment. I've sent you an email from community@scope.org.uk, so please do keep an eye out for that.
     
    You've mentioned experiencing some challenges with your mental health, such as PTSD, paranoia, and anxiety. Are you currently receiving any support to help you manage your mental health? 
     
    If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to speak to your GP about how things have been, and how you've been feeling. 
     
    Please remember that the following organisations are there for you if you need someone to talk to:
    • Samaritans: call 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org 
    • SHOUT: text SHOUT to 85258
    • CALM: call 0800 58 58 58, or use their live web chat, between 5pm to 12am
    You should always call 999 or visit A&E in the case of an emergency. 
     
    You may also find the following resources helpful:
    I'm wondering whether Headway may also be able to support you, as I think you've mentioned that you live with a brain injury. 

    If you need some professional advice on your financial situation, or regarding your partner's immigration situation, you could try using:
    You've mentioned losing your home. Do you currently have somewhere safe to stay? 
     
    If you need any housing advice, I'd encourage you to contact the charity Shelter.
     
    I believe that you've been in touch with our Support to Work service about your employment situation- is that right? If so, I wish you well with the programme. They're a fantastic team, so I hope that they'll be able to offer you some support.
     
    Can your partner and son access some support in India in the meantime? 
     

    National Campaigns Officer at Scope, she/her

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 57,016 Disability Gamechanger
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    This sounds like a very complex situation and an internet forum isn't the best place for advice. Please get some expert advice from an agency near you by using the link posted above.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • racyguy
    racyguy Community member Posts: 560 Pioneering
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    I applied for a visitor visa for my partner to come to the UK with me, so I could comfortably return, but it was declined. Again and again. ...........Now, immigration rules need me to have a home to apply for my partner and child to come here, apparently to show they'll be secure, but their current residence is much more dangerous - murder every other week, even from the police! So, even if it's temporary accommodation, I feel they'll be much more safe? I also don't currently have the money, too, to apply for a visa - it's over £2000!!! .......I don't think these means I shouldn't have a family or seek love - no matter where that is!!! 



    I can really feel for you. My brother in law is in the same or similar situation.
    He met a girl whilst working in Ethiopia. She found out that she was pregnant and he travelled there every three/four weeks to be with her.
    Subsequently they got married there and his daughter was born.
    He cannot obtain a family visa due to cost and the necessary conditions that are being imposed. His daughter is now 6 and misses her daddy. He manages to go over to see them for a few days at a time. 
    He started to receive his state pension last year but but still has to work 10, 12 hour days with 2 days off. to fund his travel costs as well fund his wife's and child's costs. 
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