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Long absence history and getting job in future

bluefox

I’m having a really low day today. Reading and seeing things only makes me worse. I have a long absence history now due to my conditions.

I am worried I’ll never be able to work ever again and no employer will ever take me on. It’s playing hard into my mentality that life without a job = the end.

There must be some way in the future to get over the long absence history. Surely employers will look at the fact I worked for 15-17 years without falling unwell.

I need hope

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Comments

janer1967

Hi there

I know its your condition but asking the same questions all the time will get the same response

It is hard losing your job and ability to work I've been there myself after a successful career for over 30 years but not working doesn't mean the end

You can focus your life on other things like hobbies learning new skills voluntary work helping other people your mental health therapy

bluefox

But I would like to work again one day and I don’t want anything to hold me back. I want the world to be my oyster.

I am just frightened to death that this absence record will hold me back and yet I worked for so long.

poppy123456

This has been said so many times and yes i know it's part of your condition but it's not helping you by reading all those things over and over again. If this is how it affects you then why do you continue to read them?

I did mention to you quite sometime ago that i know someone that hadn't worked since around 2016/17. They applied for just 2 jobs, one part time (from home), one full time. They were offered both jobs. After speaking to me for some advice they decided to take the part time job working from home and yes they also have a health condition.

All is not lost because you're unable to work at the moment. In the future when you're health is better than it is now you can start thinking of looking for some work.

In the meantime there's really nothing more to advise on.

bluefox

I know, I know.

I'm just so scared. The OH lady today was really supportive of me and understood what I'm going through and it made me feel understood for the first time.

I'm just finding life really difficult. When you've had a job since you were 18 years old and also studied from 16-20, it can be a little daunting entering a new world of illness and unemployment.

Just know that your comments, conversations, replies, etc are really helpful for someone like me.

bluefox

So yeah occupational health pretty much said: we’re not letting you come back.

I was just wondering for future reference though. Can you disagree against the OH and your own doctor?

janer1967

Of course you can disagree but in what context are you referring to

bluefox

janer1967 said:

Of course you can disagree but in what context are you referring to

What if you wanted to force yourself to work against your conditions because for instance you’re scared of being jobless, homeless etc.

I know it’s not a good idea. I know that and you’ve got to accept reality. But I’m talking hypothetically here.

leeCal

I was once without a job for a very long time, several years in fact but luckily I was also self employed and so people understood that full time work wasn’t always possible.

my partner was not in work for several years and she was offered part time work due to her educational background, she had several O levels from many years ago and could show she was well educated.

Personally, I’d start with part time work which wasn’t too onerous to both ease yourself back into work and to start building a new career history to show potential employers. however you should only did this if you feel you’re ready for it.

bluefox

I know I’m not very well mentally and I agree with the doctor and the Occuptional health but I’m worried I’ll do something stupid without a job. And I’m so anxious and panicky that I struggle with interviews. I don’t want this to be the end of me.

janer1967

If you try and force yourself to work against medical advice it is likely you will be dismissed on medical grounds

Employers have a duty of care under heslth and safety to only employ people if it is safe to do so and if anything happened and they had ignored medical advice they would be liable so will not take the risk

As advised lots of times you need to get better then think about the future. I would also suggest a complete break and let you current job end and make a fresh start when you are better

Karen7788

I wouldn’t think too long term, just think of now and try and plan, in the short term, to do little things that could help you to feel more positive and build your confidence.

bluefox

Karen7788 said:

I wouldn’t think too long term, just think of now and try and plan, in the short term, to do little things that could help you to feel more positive and build your confidence.

I mean it’s great I’m having some psychological treatment for my NEAD episodes now. That finishes on the 18th November.

Tori_Scope

I’m worried I’ll do something stupid without a job

Would you be able to tell us what you mean by this @bluefox?

I can imagine the prospect of not having a job, and possibly having to interview for roles again in the future, is a bit daunting.

Could it perhaps be an opportunity for you to be able to work on your mental health, and find ways to manage your conditions?

bluefox

Tori_Scope said:

I’m worried I’ll do something stupid without a job
Would you be able to tell us what you mean by this @bluefox?

I can imagine the prospect of not having a job, and possibly having to interview for roles again in the future, is a bit daunting.

Could it perhaps be an opportunity for you to be able to work on your mental health, and find ways to manage your conditions?

Worried I’ll end up taking my own life or something with the struggle of losing the job and trying to get employed again in the future.

I never expected my health to take such a bad turn if I’m honest. But I know with help and support I can turn it around but I’m scared, really scared.

SueHeath

There are a lot of us on this forum @bluefox that have our own Demons, i for one joined this group because of my new turn in my health issue, i have always worked and it came to a sudden end. I have always said it's the best thing i have ever joined, there is so much going on and the friendship is great.
Have you or are you in the situation were you could do any type of voluntary work ?

bluefox

SueHeath said:

There are a lot of us on this forum @bluefox that have our own Demons, i for one joined this group because of my new turn in my health issue, i have always worked and it came to a sudden end. I have always said it's the best thing i have ever joined, there is so much going on and the friendship is great.
Have you or are you in the situation were you could do any type of voluntary work ?

Not at the moment. I am technically still employed but I know it’s going to come to an end soon.

bluefox

I am finding it really tough to accept tbh. I wish I could just snap out of it and go back to work and everything be okay.

bluefox

Teddybear12 said:

Hi @bluefox I do not think you are in "a snap out of it" situation. You need to give yourself time to get well and finish your treatment on the 18 November. If possible you need to fill your days with hobbies or exercise or plan your day to do at least one task a day. Try to take one day at a time and not to look so much to the future. Good luck.

You have all given great advice and your own path in your own words, which is helpful to me.

My treatment for my NEAD episodes finishes 18th November but it can continue if necessary and I’m also waiting for psychotherapy too. I guess the combination of them both will help me manage my conditions better and hopefully restore some happiness to my life and also independence.

I’ve also got the physio to manage pain and fatigue. I think I’ve got the broad approach my GP’s wanted me to have towards FND/NEAD and my worsened mental health problems.

Setting one task per day sounds a great idea. Mini goals that are achievable to boost confidence. On the plus side with the help of a coaching team I’ve addressed my diet. So that’s one positive to take.