I'm looking for information in relation to parents with disabilities, and an ongoing custody battle

Nuuu

Hi everyone, I'm Niki. 
I'm looking for any help/advice/support/document links/anything 😂 in relation to parents with disabilities. 
Very loooong story short, I am currently in a second bitter child arrangements case with my ex, who keeps filing with court to try and gain full custody of our toddler. He is using my health as an excuse at the moment and am just trying to prepare anything I can that would help in this fight? 
I am currently under advisement from my GP trying to relocate so I have the physical and emotional support of my family close by. He is seeking to block this or just remove her from my care. 
I have fibromyalgia, IBS and anxiety. All 3 of these have triggers related to stress and obviously the stress he is giving me is HUGE!!! My family live an hour and half to an hour and three quarters away from me 1 way!! When I first moved here with my child I was fit and well. 
If there is anything anyone can point me too I would be so very grateful. I am a loving mum to my little girl and terrified of the emotional trauma she would suffer if taken from my care. 

Much love to everyone here xx

Sandy_123

Hi @Nuuu welcome to the forum. What a stressful time your going through. Are you considering moving back to be closer to family? Have you got a solicitor to guide you?  

Nuuu

Hi Sandy,  yes it is very stressful and making me sick!! 
I have a solicitor but as my ex was abusive and I have no funds after the last round of court proceedings I have a legal aid solicitor so they only do so much and as it appears he's going to drag this case out I may run out of funding with them ☹️. So I'm just trying to gather all I can really. 

Thank you for your response 

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community 

I don't have much advice buf ir is very unlikely a court would remove a child.from morhers custody 

If your child goes to school or nursery Tey and get report from them and your gp to support.she is adequately cared for by you 

Have you considered mediation with your ex this can avoid court 

I understand your distress I am a single disabled mum as well and my son is now 16 and I believe him growing up with disability around him has made him stronger more resilient,  caring and independent 

Yes I hate he has missed out on certain things as I am wheelchair bound and visually impaired but in other areas he has gained by me always being around for him 

Good luck 

Nuuu

@janer1967 thank you for your lovely response it's so nice to hear from a single parent with disabilities and hear their child has been fine. 
Yes I did try mediation during which he refused to discuss my relocation and as I say we are now back in court with him yet again seeking full custody, this breaks my heart and he knows that. I believe that is the reason he does it but that's just my opinion. 
My go provided a letter to court saying I am unable to drive to see my family but otherwise I am a good and capable parent, but because my GP endorsed my move his response was to get again petition court for custody. I'm afraid this will just be my life now until my 3 year old is 16 or 18. I'd love to be able to help my solicitor as much as possible and gather what I can. 

Support here would be valuable to me so again I thank you for your support. 

janer1967

Try and stay positive the fight will end one day and your ex needs to put the child first . I do understand his concern about you moving out of the area and how this could affect him seeing his child as you can't drive to take her 

The court will come up with a compromise 

My situation is opposite my husband left us 6 months before I became disabled and has no interest in our son he sees him twice a year roughly and that's when my son makes the first move . It's heartbreaking to see your child abandoned by his father but take on 3 kids from his new partner and have 2 more of their own 

Always someone here for support 

Tori_Scope

Welcome to the community @Nuuu Thank you for joining us!

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, as it sounds extremely stressful. I'm not able to offer any legal advice of course, but I hope that hearing from other members has helped you to feel more supported, and less alone in your situation. 

I can imagine this is made all the more distressing due to the abuse you experienced from your ex partner. Have you spoken to any organisations who support survivors of domestic abuse? Here are a few:

• Refuge
• Women's Aid
• Victim Support
• Get help for domestic abuse (gov.uk)

They may be able to offer you some advice on your custody situation, too. 

Citizens Advice may also be able to offer some advice and support on this.

You've mentioned living with anxiety. Are you receiving any support to help you manage your anxiety at the moment? 

I'd encourage you to speak to your GP about your anxiety if you haven't already. You may also find it helpful to get in touch with Anxiety UK or Mind.

I'm also going to send you an email from community@scope.org.uk, so please do keep an eye out for that.

Jo_2022

Hi @Nuuu! I am so sorry to hear about your situation with the custody case for your daughter. I can imagine this must be a difficult and stressful time for you with all your health conditions.

I hope you have found all the above advice from everyone helpful. Welcome to the online community!

I wonder if you have heard of CAFCASS: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/about-cafcass/

Take care 

RGM

Hi @Nuuu

I know this conversation is a couple of years old but I wondered how you're getting on and what the outcome of your court proceedings were? I'm in a similar situation

Kimmy87

They haven't been active since September 2022, so you might not get a reply.