Hi, my name is Chaase!

Chaase

Hi Poppy, what I mean no one checks whose staying. He visits a few times overnight 2 days but the idea was to make it more permanent. Since our civil marriage.

What I meant was. I have a support worker who helps with paper work, letters  documents etc but she comes more or less when she pleases. And hell help me to get out and have a break from being always lockiled in . So no one checks who lives here as the other person Elydium was asking if anyone checks who lives here. No no one has checked and I've been here 2.5 years plus 

Chaase

I meant on my pip letter based in my scores It states nerd some daily help which my lady friends volunteer with at the moment. 

So that's why I wanted your opinion if he my other half could fit into that slot and do everything I needed help with and so on. 

Chaase

Also the idea of waiting to put his name on the tenancy agreement. Does that means he gets legal and equal rights to the flat and can stay freely as I can without any hassle from the council? 

Chaase

What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of having his name on the tenancy agreement if I should do this. I was homeless for so many years so I'm so scared to  be homeless again and just want to take every precaution 

poppy123456

Assuming he doesn't have savings of more than £16,000 He can claim UC in his own right because you're not living together at the moment. If he cares for you for at least 35 hours per week then he can also claim carers element. He doesn't need to claim carers allowance to be entitled to carers element.

You can't just add him to your tenancy agreement, you will need to speak to your LA for this. If you live together at anytime in the future then you will need to report the changes on your journal and then you'll be sent a linking code to join both your UC claims together.

Elysium

Hi Chaase, as Poppy & I said and I think you accepted, it’s best if you keep things as they are, everything separate for now and then you can think about combining everything when you have the offer of a permanent home. 

He can be your Carer voluntarily for now as I’m sure he will want to as he loves you - let him. You don’t need to pay him for caring for you.

PLEASE Don’t declare anything new for now.

advantages of making your permanent home (when you get it) a joint tenancy:
legally he has a permanent home 

disadvantages:
he has equal rights over the home as you do eg. If you split up you have no right to make him leave 

I don’t know if you’ve thought about this BUT You might want to be rushing to make everything joint & combined, as a trauma response to being homeless and other trauma. You may crave to have everything feel ‘safe’ & ‘secure’ and ‘sorted’ BUT you ALREADY have that from your civil partnership on its own WITHOUT declaring anything extra or combining incomes or giving him joint tenancy 

Perhaps ask your dr if you can have the free 12-week course of counselling available to us all, to talk about this to support you as you transition into life in a civil partnership whilst keeping your homes and finances separate to protect your best interests

I would be EXTREMELY cautious about combining ANYTHING - ESPECIALLY a tenancy agreement - you’ve been through SO MUCH being homeless and whatever trauma caused your homelessness - PLEASE PROTECT YOUR CURRENT SAFE SITUATION THAT YOUVE WORKED SOOOOO HARD TO ACHIEVE - don’t sign it away to someone else however much you love them. 

He loves you enough to have entered a civil partnership with you, so he’ll understand the need to protect your current housing & financial situation. 

You don’t need to declare or combine anything to prove you love him either - being in a civil partnership with you is ENOUGH. You are ENOUGH.

Chaase

Ohh thank you so so so much. I really needed some help and advice and support on what you both just explained.

I suffer from extreme memory loss following my head injuries and other sickness so sometimes I can't get my head around things properly and remember things said and what is safe for me. So I'm anxious and scared and nervous about making bad choices especially with my home and safty and hsving a roof over my head and being made homeless on the street again.

So what you just explain is really good for me to hear that I do not need to rush put his name on anything or join anything up. I really needed some advice on how to protect myself and my new home which I'm bidding for. 
 You know that t bit that uou explain he would have legal rights and if anything should happen down the line I can't make him leave ---- do you know of any legal ways I can put something in place to take precaution and protect myself from this in the  first place. I would hate for this to happen if this was to happen later on down the line while he moves in to live with me. 

At the moment we are newly wed 6 weeks now so I wouldn't want a joint tenancy yet as I've been through so much to get to this stage.
So if I don't have to do joint tenancy as you pint out, l which I prefer not to do right now but on have it as my home I've worked hard to have to have it as (my home) for (my safeguarding) and safekeeping).
Wwhat I'm trying to ask would he still be able to go and come and be there as well as I think base on what's explained he'll just care for me voluntarily but do his little carers work however many hours he likes outside of caring for me but live there and have a roof over his head. 
Would I he allowed to live there with no hassle from the council since it would be my permanent home and he stays with me as his other half  you know ?

I think I'm looking for  no1 my priority 1st to keep my home safe and secure but still try to live a normal life as a couple by just but still to protect protect myself from any terrible situation again down te line. 

So to be clear what your saying, I don't need to declare it now.
He'll can ableobdtill stay stay with me without joining finances and having his name on the tenancy and he'll still sees my home as where he lives and stays for now and then even when we move to a permanent home his name won't be on the tenancy but he'll have this as a roof over his head but it's my home completely? 

I wish there's a way to print this conversation off so I can remember everything as sometimes I find it so hard to remember as I struggle so much. 
Thank you 

poppy123456

Sorry i can't advise about the tenancy agreement. You may want to contact shelter for some expert advice regarding that. https://england.shelter.org.uk/get_help

If you do decide to live together in the future then you will need to claim UC as a couple and your joint circumstances will be taken into consideration.

Elysium

Chaase said:

Ohh thank you so so so much. I really needed some help and advice and support on what you both just explained.

I suffer from extreme memory loss following my head injuries and other sickness so sometimes I can't get my head around things properly and remember things said and what is safe for me. So I'm anxious and scared and nervous about making bad choices especially with my home and safty and hsving a roof over my head and being made homeless on the street again.

So what you just explain is really good for me to hear that I do not need to rush put his name on anything or join anything up. I really needed some advice on how to protect myself and my new home which I'm bidding for. 
 You know that t bit that uou explain he would have legal rights and if anything should happen down the line I can't make him leave ---- do you know of any legal ways I can put something in place to take precaution and protect myself from this in the  first place. I would hate for this to happen if this was to happen later on down the line while he moves in to live with me. 

At the moment we are newly wed 6 weeks now so I wouldn't want a joint tenancy yet as I've been through so much to get to this stage.
So if I don't have to do joint tenancy as you pint out, l which I prefer not to do right now but on have it as my home I've worked hard to have to have it as (my home) for (my safeguarding) and safekeeping).
Wwhat I'm trying to ask would he still be able to go and come and be there as well as I think base on what's explained he'll just care for me voluntarily but do his little carers work however many hours he likes outside of caring for me but live there and have a roof over his head. 
Would I he allowed to live there with no hassle from the council since it would be my permanent home and he stays with me as his other half  you know ?

I think I'm looking for  no1 my priority 1st to keep my home safe and secure but still try to live a normal life as a couple by just but still to protect protect myself from any terrible situation again down te line. 

So to be clear what your saying, I don't need to declare it now.
He'll can ableobdtill stay stay with me without joining finances and having his name on the tenancy and he'll still sees my home as where he lives and stays for now and then even when we move to a permanent home his name won't be on the tenancy but he'll have this as a roof over his head but it's my home completely? 

I wish there's a way to print this conversation off so I can remember everything as sometimes I find it so hard to remember as I struggle so much. 
Thank you 

Yes you’ve got it perfectly Chase well done you’re doing great!

Chaase

Thank you very much Poppy Elysium . I felt so lost and worried about things not knowing  where to turn to for some  honest help.
 I'll look to shelters for advice on
 the housing and protecting keeping my home safe and talk to my Dr about  the 12 weeks of counselling. 
This really opens up  my eyes to think better. I thank you 

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @Chaase

I see Poppy & Elysium have given you some really great advice. I also wanted to add in that counselling from your GP may take some time to sort with the covid backlog. If you ever feel low, you have us to talk and vent to on the community and you can always talk to SHOUT, who are a 24/7 texting mental health service.

I hope Shelter are able to give you some advice, please keep us updated  

Chaase

Hi Hannah, I'm happy I can get help on here as most times it's hard to understand things because I had complete memory lost and speak and on the Road to recovery.

What dobyiy mean I have us to talk to like now how I'm asking for help?
I need so much help i understanding things anf don't know where to turn I'll text shout and talk on them. I will need help with alot of things . OK Thanks uou

Cher_Alumni

Chaase said:

Hi Poppy, what I mean no one checks whose staying. He visits a few times overnight 2 days but the idea was to make it more permanent. Since our civil marriage.

What I meant was. I have a support worker who helps with paper work, letters  documents etc but she comes more or less when she pleases. And hell help me to get out and have a break from being always lockiled in . So no one checks who lives here as the other person Elydium was asking if anyone checks who lives here. No no one has checked and I've been here 2.5 years plus 

Hello @Chaase

I'm glad the advice received so far has helped you better understand your current position. Keeping yourself safe and happy is the priority and it sounds like you are doing brilliantly.

I also just wanted to check in about the situation with your support worker; you mentioned above that they aren't coming frequently to help and you are always locked in? Apologies if I've misunderstood! Would you be able to tell us a little more about this? It must be hard if you feel stuck in and there might be something we could do to help 

Chaase

Hi Cher, thank you. I have a, support worker but I'm not sure what she is suppose to and not do it's so confuse about it and soo stress as well as I don't understand it as I've only found myself in a terrible situation after my trauma and just trying to find my way and regain my health. I suffer from extreme anxiety depression, PTSD Memory loss and a long list of things since my traumatic assault and injuries I haven't been myself. I did tell cmy psychotheripist about it and he did try to get her to do more but nothing. I don't understand it much as I'm so extremely stress and suffer from sleeplessness sometimes Im so confuse about how things work and where to turn for answers. 

Cher_Alumni

@Chaase That's okay, not to worry. Do you see your psychotherapist regularly? It might be useful to mention to them that your support worker is still not visiting you enough, so they can chase it up again. Would you feel comfortable doing that?

I'm also going to send you an email shortly just to see if we at Scope can be of support so please keep an eye out for that